


Come Back to Me

by CaptainPoupon



Series: Bring Me Home [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Family, Fluff and Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-09-13 16:11:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 84,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9131776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainPoupon/pseuds/CaptainPoupon
Summary: Follow Emma and Killian on a new adventure from the Enchanted Forest to New York; a tale about romance and family, with a bit of angst and a lot of fluff! A new chapter every Saturday!





	1. The Unwanted Guest

**Author's Note:**

> Captain Swan AU: On Emma’s twenty-eighth birthday, a book mysteriously appeared and took her from Boston to the Enchanted Forest. There, she met the brothers Jones, and Killian brought her home in a way she hadn’t expected: she had asked him to bring her back to Boston but, instead, despite the Evil Queen’s attempts to keep them apart, they fell in love and became each other’s home. Killian wasn’t the only one she found there: her son Henry – whom she had given up for adoption and Rumplestitskin had brought to the Evil Queen – escaped the castle and came aboard the Jolly Roger to be with his mother. He, Killian and Emma, and Liam and Ariel, were living a peaceful life, sailing the seas. On the night of her twenty-ninth birthday, lights coming from the castle illuminated the sky and, on the next day, Emma met her parents. To celebrate the return of the lost princess – their daughter who had been sent by the Evil Queen to a land without magic when she was only a baby – Snow-White and Charming organized a royal ball.

Emma was lost in Killian’s eyes. Gazing at the man she loved, she kept waltzing around the dancefloor, unaware of anyone but him. One hand on his hook, the other one on his shoulder, and his own in her back, she was following his lead and it felt like her feet were naturally moving around. Looking into his eyes, she was wondering how she had been so lucky to have him in her life. Like her mother had said, she had found true love, and it was the most precious thing she had ever had. Just a year and a day earlier, she had been celebrating her twenty-eighth birthday alone, in her apartment in Boston. When opening her eyes after making a wish, a fairy tales book had mysteriously appeared and had brought her to the Enchanted Forest. It was only a few hours later that she had run into the man who had changed her life. From the first day, she had known there was something between them. Not feeling like it was safe to let a man go through her walls, she had tried to fight against it, but the fight had been vain; she had fallen in love with him, and he with her. He was loving her in a way she had never thought was possible, and their love had turned out to be her best adventure. A year after meeting him, she had spent her twenty-ninth birthday aboard the Jolly Roger, with him and Henry. During this year, she had learnt more about herself than she had in her entire life. Henry was one of the most important changes which had occurred; her son, whom she had given up for adoption when he was born and who had been adopted by the Evil Queen, had found her and become one of the best parts of her life. The past year had also been for her the occasion to find out she had magic, and to learn how to control it. Not earlier than on the past evening, on her twenty-ninth birthday, another truth had been revealed: when lights had been sent from the castle into the sky, they had realized Snow-White and Prince Charming, her parents whom she had thought dead, were living on the island along which the ship was moored. They had waited for the morning before heading to the castle, where she had met them for the first time. To celebrate the return of the lost princess, a ball had been organized.

Emma and Killian had been dancing for almost an hour. Just like her, Killian was lost in her eyes. It was only when a new music started that he was pulled out of his thoughts.

“Do you realize I’m not doing anything anymore? You’re dancing on your own. Will you believe me, now, when I tell you that you’re a natural?”

“I can feel it gets easier with every dance. I don’t need to think about it, my feet just seem to follow yours.” She defiantly looked him in the eye as she added, “But for all that, I’m not a natural, because you’re the one who taught me everything.”

“I knew you would deny,” Killian chuckled while they were still waltzing. “My stubborn princess, there’s a new move coming. When I tell you, place your hands on my shoulders.”

“What’s this new move?”

“Now.”

Emma complied and placed her hands on his shoulders. Her feet left the floor as Killian scooped her up and turned around, before softly putting her down and starting to waltz again.

“You’re alright, love?” Killian asked, looking worried. “I didn’t hurt you with my hook, when scooping you up?”

“Of course not! I have an amazing partner who knows exactly what he’s doing. And that may be one of my favorite moves,” Emma said with a bright smile lightening her features. “Will we get to do it again during this dance?”

“Aye, a few other times.”

“Good. Just tell me when.”

He nodded and they didn’t take their eyes off each other as they kept waltzing.

“Get ready,” Killian warned. “Now!”

Hearing the signal, Emma rushed: wanting to help him, she placed her hands on his shoulders and jumped. But she did too early, while Killian was only getting ready to scoop her up. It took him by surprise and, without his help, she didn’t manage to rise enough. As a result, she almost made him lose balance but he reacted fast enough; they caught themselves up right in time and laughed.

“Sorry,” she giggled, standing closer to him than the dance required. “I just thought I could help. But you were obviously wrong when saying I’m a natural.”

Killian chuckled. “Love, you won’t convince me so easily. That was a very nice try, it could have worked, but I wasn’t ready.”

“So now you’re going to try and say it’s your fault that it didn’t work?”

“Aye!” His smile showed how proud of himself he was. “But next time, it’ll work. Just wait a bit longer, until I’m holding your waist.”

Emma soon had the chance to try again and, this time, she jumped at the right moment, helping Killian to scoop her up higher than before.

“Perfect, love!” Killian congratulated once she was back on her feet, and she smiled brightly.

They kept waltzing and the few more attempts were successful as well. As the music came to an end, Emma jumped one last time. But this time, Killian took longer to put her down and she locked her arms in an outstretched position. From holding her waist, he stopped turning around and wrapped his arms around her, while never taking his eyes off her. Looking down at him and getting lost in his eyes once again, she felt like he was securely holding her; she let go of his shoulders to wrap her arms around his neck and run her fingers through his hair. Slowly, he lowered her. She leant her forehead against his and when she found herself at the right level, captured his lips. Her feet touched the floor and she kept kissing him. A new music had started but, lost in each other, they were standing in the middle of the dancefloor, catching their breaths, her arms wrapped around his neck while his were wrapped around her waist. Killian was the first one to open his eyes.

“Dancing with you is definitely one of my favorite things to do. You’re amazing.”

“I think this dance is my favorite. I really love this move. And I love you.” She tiptoed to press a light kiss on his lips and stayed close to him, her forehead against his. “Can we have a drink? After that, we can come back and dance for the rest of the night.”

“Sounds perfect to me.”

Not waiting any longer, Killian looked around and spotted what he was looking for; taking her hand, he led her out of the dancefloor, to the houseboy walking around with a tray of glasses. Killian handed Emma a drink, took a second one for himself, and slipped his hook in her back to lead her to a spot which was not too much crowded. Locking his eyes on her, he raised his glass.

“To you, my wonderful princess who’s finally home.”

“And to you,” Emma said, clinking glasses. “My flawless pirate captain whom I love with all my heart.”

She was ready to drink but, noticing how he was staring at her, she inquiringly tilted her head on the side; a move she had taken from him.

“You can’t imagine how, when I hear you say such things, I’m tempted even more than usual to kiss you and…” A crooked smile tugged at his lips. “More.”

“Killian…” Emma quickly glanced around to check no one had heard him. “Resist, or I won’t be able to resist either.”

Killian seemed delighted to hear that. Clinking glasses again, they drank the shot down and Emma focused on the taste.

“Rum?”

“Indeed. I think your father wants to show he has nothing against the fact I’m a pirate.” Killian thought of how, when they had met her parents for the first time, Charming had looked judgmental towards the fact he was a pirate. Later, the man had apologized and assured he had nothing against this fact. Killian looked around and his eyes landed on the buffet. “Want to see what’s to eat?”

“Yes!”

Finding their way among the guests, they reached the buffet.

“Looks like we’ve found the desserts,” Emma pointed out.

“And I feel like it actually doesn’t bother you that much,” Killian said with a teasing smile.

“You know me too well. Now... how am I supposed to choose?”

The buffet was constituted of many different bites which all looked as delicious as the others. The dilemma he was seeing in her eyes as she didn't know which one to choose made him laugh.

“You will have an indigestion if you eat them all. Let me be your taster.”

“So devoted to your princess,” Emma commented, amused as she watched him pick a chocolate one and take a bite of it.

“You will like this one,” he decided, holding the other half an inch away from her lips. Emma remembered they were surrounded by guests and she looked around. Since no one seemed to focus on them, not even her parents who were dancing, she took the bite directly from his fingers.

“Very nice choice that was. Now...” Her hand hovered over the desserts and stopped when she picked another chocolate one, different than the one they just had. “This one.”

Her eyes closed and a sound of delight escaped her as she took a bite of it. She held the other half in front of Killian.

“You need to try this one! And consider this as an evidence of my love for you: this chocolate is one of the best I’ve ever tried, I really love you to be willing to share it with you.” Emma was looking up at him, waiting for him to take the bite, but all he did was to chuckle. “I’m serious!”

“You’re adorable,” he commented, his eyes sparkling with love. “Eat it, I know you want to.”

But Emma hesitated, obviously torn. “I do, but I also want to share it with you. Try, you’ll see I’m right, it’s the best chocolate!” Again, Killian said nothing and simply smirked, and Emma playfully pretended to be taken aback. “Is the pirate mocking his princess?”

“No, he would never do such a thing,” Killian denied, clearly amused by all of this. “I just remember this day when you told me chocolate was your guilty pleasure.”

“I lied.”

“Sorry?”

“On that day, I lied.” Catching this look in his eyes which meant he was curious and wanted to know more about it, Emma felt her cheeks warm up before admitting, “Chocolate is one of my guilty pleasures, but I’ve said chocolate mostly because I was feeling too guilty to admit it was already...” The intense way he was gazing at her got her lost in his eyes, which seemed to amuse him even more; his eyebrows raised and he tilted his head on the side, waiting for the end of her sentence. She shook her head and finished, “You.”

“Me,” he repeated with a crooked smile on his lips.

“Yes. Now, try the chocolate.”

Chuckling, he shrugged. “If the princess insists...”

“So? What do you think?” Emma inquired after he had taken the bite.

“Very nice. It melts in the mouth and the flavor is exquisite. But nothing will ever beat this.”

Without any warning, he captured her in his embrace and his lips crashed against hers. The thought they were not alone crossed her mind but she decided she didn't care and went for the kiss.

“My apologies, the amount of adorableness you displayed simply was too much for me to handle,” Killian said, pretending to be sorry.

“So now you're going to apologize for kissing me?”

“You're right, I shouldn't.”

Flashing her a smile, he went for another kiss which left her breathless. One arm in his back, her other hand in the nape of his neck, she kept her forehead against his.

“Is adorableness even a word?” she asked.

“If you're real, then it must be.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Brushing his nose with hers, she was about to kiss him again when a yell made both of them look up.

“She's here!” a dwarf shouted with a hint of panic in his voice, while running towards Snow and Charming who were still on the dancefloor. “She's here! The Evil Queen! She's coming!”

Both worried, Killian and Emma glanced at each other before looking around, both thinking of the same thing: Henry.

“Where's the lad?” asked Killian as he couldn't see him.

Emma couldn't see him either and grabbed Killian's hand before making her way to her parents.

“Where's Henry?”

“He wanted a book, he went to his bedroom a while ago,” answered Snow.

“Go!” Killian told Emma. “Go and protect Henry, he's the one she wants.”

“Go with her,” Charming told Snow. “The ballroom is the first place where she will come. Killian and I will stop her.”

Killian glanced at the man, not looking as confident as him, and Emma noticed.

“Killian...”

Both she and her mother were looking at their respective man, willing to find another solution.

The pirate regained his composure and suddenly looked more convincing as he repeated, “You need to go.”

Not finding any other solution, Emma sighed and quickly kissed his lips before turning around.

“Wait.” Killian's fingers closed around her wrist and he pulled her back to him to kiss her passionately. Charming imitated him and kissed Snow.

“Why does it feel like a goodbye?” Emma asked, looking up into his eyes.

“Hopefully it isn't.” But Killian remembered well how, on the two times when the Evil Queen had paid them a visit, he had found himself away from the woman he loved. “Now, go!”

She wanted to complain, to tell him to come with her, but she already knew what he would tell her: he and her father needed to stay in the ballroom with the guests.

“Be there when I come back,” Emma told him.

“I'll be waiting for you,” Killian nodded. “Come back to me as soon as you can.”

This was all Emma needed to hear, all she wanted to believe; she and Snow rushed out of the room.

“Are you as confident as you pretend to be?” Killian inquired.

“Honestly? Not at all.” Charming glanced at the front doors, the slight crease of his eyebrows revealing his anxiety. “Regina's visits never bring anything good.”

“I unfortunately agree. The two times when she came aboard our ship, she got what she wanted.”

“This time, she won't,” Charming said, looking confident again.

“Let's hope you're right.”

“What she wants is Henry. She won't get him,” Charming reassured. “Here, I think that's yours. You might need it.”

“Aye, that's mine indeed.”

Killian took the sword Charming was handing him. He barely had time to sheathe it before the doors flung open, and the one they were both dreading to see appeared.

“Sorry, I'm late!” the Evil Queen said, entering the room and walking down the stairs. “You didn't think you could enjoy a family reunion without me, now, did you?”

One of the guests came between her and the two men. “Don't make them suffer again!”

The Evil Queen laughed and, with a move of the hand, turned the man into stone. Most of the guests gasped or stepped back, which seemed to delight the woman. She indicated the stone.

“ _This_ is what will happen to those who, out of what they think is heroism but is actually pure stupidity, try to interfere. Anyone?” While some guests took another step back, some others looked down and the Evil Queen smirked as she looked around. “That's what I thought. Now, I think you know what I'm here for.”

“You won't get him back.” Glaring at her, Killian unsheathed his sword and it seemed to amuse her.

“My dear captain,” she said as she came to him. With another move of the hand, she made the sword vanish and Killian remained immobile as she trailed her fingers down the side of his face. “It is a shame your wit doesn't outperform your handsomeness. When will you realize you cannot hurt me with that sword of yours?”

Neither of the men dared to move while she walked around them; they knew that she could turn them into stone in the blink of an eye.

“You may prevent me from getting Henry tonight, but you're lucky, I have other ideas in mind,” she said as she took a few steps away from them.

“What do you want?”

Regina turned around to face them. “Prince Charming, I had missed you too. But sorry to disappoint, there's nothing I want from you. Now, handless wonder,” she said, looking at Killian who, powerless just like Charming was, wasn't moving. “Do you remember how I said I would destroy your happiness, if it is the last thing I do? It's been too long since I haven't added my personal touch to your love story. But lately, I came up with the perfect plan.”

“What are you going to do?” Clenching his jaw, Killian was looking daggers at her.

“I'm going to make your love suffer,” she said while walking away.

Charming was about to react but Killian was faster; his sword having vanished, he snatched the prince's and ran after the Evil Queen.

“I won't let you get near Emma!”

Delighted, Regina stopped midway to the top of the stairs. “Oh but I won't need to.”

Smirking, she turned around. Everything happened so fast that Killian didn't have time to realize. Charming looked struck with horror, watching Killian holding onto whatever he could as he tried not to be sucked into the large hole which had appeared in the floor of the ballroom. It had appeared where Regina had thrown her hat, right in front of Killian and he was fighting against the green light coming out of it and trying to suck him into it. Very quickly, Charming threw himself on the floor and grabbed Killian's arms.

“Killian, hold on!”

“Does that remind you of something, Prince Charming?” she asked, mockingly emphasizing his nickname. “A useful friend of mine made me this new hat. The first time I've used one of his hats was on your daughter when she was just a newborn. I surely do not need to remind you how she disappeared and you found her only twenty-nine years later. Now you're about to witness this again, this time with the man she loves the most. Emma adapted well to this realm, let’s see if her beloved pirate can do as well in hers.”

Regina was taunting him but Charming was ignoring her. He was trying as hard as he could to pull Killian out of the trap. A few guests came and tried to help him, but Regina froze them one by one, until she decided to freeze them all.

“Killian, you can't fall through that thing.”

But, at first holding his arms, Charming was now holding Killian's hand and hook as he was now even closer to fall through it. Charming himself was being pulled closer to the portal.

“Take care of your daughter and the lad. Remind Emma that I love her.”

“Killian, I can’t let you fall.”

“Do it! If you don’t, you will fall as well.”

But, under the Evil Queen's amused eye, Charming refused to let him go and kept resisting.

* * *

 

“You left Killian alone with her?” Henry asked his mother.

Emma had just told him about the Evil Queen’s visit. She and her mother had taken more time than expected to find him: running upstairs, they had found his room to be empty. At first thinking Regina had found him already, they had called and looked for him. He had happened to be exploring other rooms of the castle on his way back to the ballroom, holding a book under his arm.

“You’re the one she’s looking for. We had to come and find you to keep you safe,” said Snow.

“But…” Henry looked from her to Emma. “Mum! We need to go back to Killian! He’s in danger!”

Emma had tried to conceal her fears but Henry had triggered them again. Killian wanted her to keep Henry away from Regina, but Regina wouldn’t hurt her son. Killian, however…

“Let’s go! And stay close to me.”

Taking his hand, the three of them ran back to the ballroom. Emma was wondering if she had made the right decision; coming to Henry had probably been the right thing to do, because otherwise, Regina would have been free to take him back to her castle. And she knew Killian wouldn’t want him close to Regina, but she convinced herself this was also the right thing to do; her magic could protect him, and Killian. She felt a knot in her stomach as she hoped it wasn’t too late.

But as they entered the ballroom, the view turned her blood to ice. “Where’s Killian?”

Charming was standing in the middle of the room, obviously in shock as he was gazing at the piece of metal he was holding: Killian’s hook. Everyone else in the room was immobile and Emma recognized the signature of Regina’s magic there. She looked around but there was no sign of Killian, or of the Evil Queen. Her father was so immobile that she wondered for a second whether he had been frozen as well.

“David! What happened?” asked Snow, coming to him and cupping his cheeks. “Where is she?”

“Gone,” Charming muttered while staring at the hook. He looked up at his daughter. “Emma, I’m sorry. I’ve tried to hold him back.”

“Where is he?” Emma repeated, feeling on the edge of giving into panic.

“He fell through a portal. He’s lost.”

“No.” In denial, Emma refused to believe she had lost him.

“How did that happen?” Snow asked.

“Her hat. She used it to open a portal. Just like she did when she took Emma away from us. There was this same green light sucking everything it could.” This was actually why it had been such a shock to him; seeing Killian fall through that portal had made him relive the worst part of his life: losing his daughter. Again, he looked at Emma. “The portal opened right in front of him. I’ve tried to hold him back, but the portal was too powerful. He feared we would both fall through it, so he removed his hook and let go of me.”

Freeing himself of her father’s grip, Killian had disappeared through the portal which had closed itself. Regina had then picked up her hat and vanished.

Emma was standing a couple meters away from her parents, still refusing to believe. She was holding Henry’s hand, who was silently standing beside her, eaten up by guilt; if he had stayed in the ballroom, Emma wouldn’t have needed to leave Killian alone.

Snow went to hug her daughter who remained still; it wasn’t the first time she and Killian were pulled apart, and they had always found each other.

“Did she say anything about where she sent him?” Emma asked her father.

“No.” Charming then paused, reliving the scene. “Wait. She said something about you adapting very well to this realm, and about seeing whether he would do as well in yours; maybe she sent him in the same realm as you when you were a baby.”

“Then, I just need to go there and get him back.”

“Emma… She did to him what she did to you.”

Emma knew her father was implying she couldn’t find him. “This realm where I lived, I know it.”

“Do you know how to get there?” Though teary-eyed, Snow sounded more hopeful than Charming, who was still in shock because of the scene he had witnessed.

“I will find a way,” answered Emma.

“We can do it, mum. We will find him,” encouraged Henry.

“Emma?” her father called. “Right before falling through the portal, Killian told me to remind you that he loves you.”

“I know. And I’ll hear him say it to me again, because I will find him.” Hearing her father delivering Killian’s message had made her flatten her lips, but she had not given out. Mostly because she wouldn’t handle the thought she had seen the last of him, she convinced herself the situation was only temporary. “He’d go to the end of the world for me, and I for him. Wherever he is, I’m getting him back.”


	2. Holding onto Hope

“Emma, I don’t know how you intend to go there, but we’ll do whatever you need us to do to help you get Killian back.” Charming finally seemed to have recovered from the shock to see Killian fall through the portal the Evil Queen had created, and had closed the distance between him and his daughter.

“We will help you,” Snow confirmed. “Do you have any ideas about how to go back to the realm where you lived?”

“I will find a way.”

Emma sounded confident. She was actually trying to convince herself, as she had yet to fully process what had happened; she had stopped denying the fact that, once again, the Evil Queen had pulled them apart, but it was difficult to imagine that Killian was in the realm where she had grown up. The two worlds were so much different. She remembered how, on the day when she had arrived in the Enchanted Forest, when she had entered the village where she was supposed to find Killian, she had thought of those movies taking place decades earlier. This was where Killian belonged, to this realm devoid of any of those technological devices which had been part of her daily life until the past year. Trying to picture him in this modern world worried her and, even if she trusted him to find his way through the town, she felt the urgent need to check he was alright. Luckily, they had spent entire evenings talking about the realm where she had grown up but still, she guessed how confused he could be by everything that might be surrounding him at this moment.

“Mum, are you okay?” Henry asked after watching her blankly staring at the floor.

Not sure about how to reassure their daughter, Snow and Charming were also gazing at her, a sorry look in their eyes.

“I need to see him.”

“Emma…”

“Not in live, I know I need to wait for that. But I want to use my magic to see where he is.”

“Can you do that?”

“I think so. I’ve never tried, but I know there’s a spell allowing to see between the worlds. I just need a mirror.”

Turning around, she noticed all the guests were immobile, still frozen since the Evil Queen’s visit. Emma closed her eyes and focused, and the room became noisier and noisier as the guests were one by one coming back to life. Emma left the ballroom, followed by her son and her parents. She headed to her room; a room that Snow and Charming had kept for her in the hope she would find them, and that she had discovered only a few hours earlier. She knew there was a mirror there. But when she entered the room, she realized it would have been better to look for another mirror, as the room was full of fresh memories: she and Killian had spent the afternoon there. The clothes she had been wearing when arriving at the castle in the morning were still on the floor, and the towel in which they had both wrapped themselves was still on the bed. The image of Killian lying on this bed while she had been trying dresses flashed through her mind and she flattened her lips as her heart ached.

“The mirror,” she reminded herself, lightly shaking her head.

“Killian will appear in the mirror?” Henry asked.

“If it works, yes.”

Silence blanketed them while, standing in front of the mirror, Emma closed her eyes and focused. After a few seconds when she didn’t feel anything happen, she opened her eyes to glance at the mirror, just in case it had worked without her noticing. But she could only see in it the reflection of her, and of Henry and her parents standing behind her. Closing her eyes, she tried again. She multiplied the attempts, and minutes went by, but every time it was the same: nothing happened.

“Emma…” Snow who, like Charming and Henry, had remained silent until then, placed her hand on her daughter’s shoulder.

“I can do it.”

Slipping her fingers under her collar, she brought out a chain and closed her fingers on the ring at the end of it.

“What is this?” Charming asked.

“A ring Killian gave me. It belonged to his mother. He gave it to me to help me remember I was not alone even when we were apart. When Rumplestiltskin was helping me with my magic, Killian usually couldn’t stay with me, and the ring helped me many times.”

Clutching it, she closed her eyes. Seconds went by and nothing happened. She tried again, focusing on Killian and thinking of how much she missed him already and how much she needed to see him again. And it happened. This sensation she was looking forward to feel: the warmth of her magic spreading through her body. But disappointment washed over her when, while expecting to see Killian, she found herself facing a black mirror; their own reflection had disappeared and given way to a completely black screen. Except for some undulations, nothing was to be seen.

“What does that mean?” asked Emma.

“I don’t know,” replied Snow, again placing her hand on her daughter’s shoulder.

“Maybe he hasn’t arrived yet?” suggested Charming.

“No, that’s not possible. Going through a portal is instant. He should be there by now, wherever that is.” Emma gazed at the mirror and suddenly worried. “Maybe something bad happened to him. What if…”

“Mum!” Henry interrupted. “I’m sure Killian is alright. Perhaps it’s just the spell which is not working, because there is no magic in your realm.”

“Maybe,” said Emma, willing to believe her son’s hypothesis. Suddenly feeling dizzy, she closed her eyes.

“Emma?”

Hearing her mother was so close to her, Emma let herself fall in her arms. “Don’t worry, it’s just my magic. Some spells are more demanding than others. I guess this one is demanding.”

“Will you be okay?” asked her father.

“Yes. I just hope he is.”

“Henry must be right, it’s probably because of the spell,” Snow reassured, hugging her daughter. “I imagine you’d prefer to see by yourself that he’s alright, but I’m sure he is.”

“Mum, you don’t have to worry,” added Henry. “Killian is the best pirate captain. He’ll be fine wherever he goes.”

Feeling less dizzy, Emma let go of her mother and pulled Henry against her instead.

“You’re right. But I still wanted the spell to work, not only to see he was alright. I was hoping it could give us indications about where he was.”

This was an idea which had crossed her mind when coming up from the ballroom: if the mirror would have showed her Killian, maybe some elements in the background would have helped her know where he was. But there was more important to think about: how to go back to her realm. Once there, she would find a way to find him, by doing what she had been doing for years; the advantage of her former job was that it had given her the ability to find people.

“What do we do, now? Where do we start?” asked Charming.

Pulled out of her thoughts, Emma looked up. “Have you ever heard of Lake Nostos?”

“The lake with water which has regenerating abilities?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve been there,” said Charming. “A long time ago, your mother and I needed its water, and it was dry. But if what I’ve heard is true, someone else needed its water as well, a few years ago, and found a way to refill it.”

“I want to go there.”

“But Emma, it’s in the Enchanted Forest. It’s days away from here, if not weeks.”

“I _need_ to go there.”

“What’s your plan?”

“Remember when I told you how Killian and I climbed the beanstalk, on the day after we met? I still have the magic bean I’ve found there, but it’s dry. Killian and I had looked for ways to regenerate it, and this lake seemed to be our only option. But we didn’t need the magic bean so we didn’t go there. I need to go there now. I can use the Jolly Roger.”

“ _We_ can use the Jolly Roger,” corrected Charming. “Because we’re in this with you. But Emma, it’s nighttime. Leaving now is not prudent. You should wait for the morning.”

“We’ve spent days and nights sailing, night has never been a problem.”

“Emma, please,” said Snow. “Your father is right. You should get some rest before going.”

“Fine,” Emma sighed. Glancing at her room, she considered spending the night there but didn’t like the idea. She turned to her parents. “I’m sorry, I don’t feel like spending the night here. Not without Killian. I have to leave. I know you’d like me to stay here, but the place that feels like home for now is still the Jolly Roger.”

“Emma…” Snow cupped her cheeks and looked her in the eye. “We understand. It’s been a long day. Go back and spend the night on your ship, and we’ll decide about where to go in the morning.”

Emma nodded. “Thank you. Henry?”

“I’m coming!”

It seemed obvious to him, but Emma was relieved, as she had been afraid he’d prefer to spend the night in his new room, at the castle.

“I’m walking you down there,” Charming announced before becoming hesitant. “Emma? Do you want to bring this with you?”

Emma felt a lump in her throat when she saw what her father was showing her; she had forgot he still had Killian’s hook, and the piece of metal in his hand was nothing but a stark reminder she didn’t know where the man she loved was.

“Leave it here,” she said, broadly indicating her bedroom. “And also, he was wearing a new outfit at the ball. Can you bring his pirate’s clothes here? He’ll get everything back when we return.”

“Yes, I’ll do that.” After placing the hook on the chest of drawers, he turned to his daughter again. “Are you going to the ship now?”

“Yes. But you don’t have to come with me. The guests are still in the ballroom, they need you more than I do.”

“I can take care of them,” said Snow before hugging her daughter. “Get some rest and keep going like you do: don’t lose hope, it’s a very powerful thing.”

“Hope is all I have left.” Giving into her mother’s embrace and hugging her back, Emma felt like a breach had appeared in her armor and the emotions she had been holding back reached her.

Snow felt it too and looked at her before wiping the first tears Emma had let roll down her cheeks. “Emma, it’s okay. You’re a beautiful and strong woman, you will go through this. You will be reunited with Killian soon.”

Emma gave her mother a weak smile and wiped away the last tears which had escaped her. “Let’s go back to the ship.”

Keeping Henry’s hand in her own, Emma led him out of the castle while her father walked alongside them. It was hard to believe that the path leading down to the ship was a path she had taken only hours earlier, with her son and Killian, on her way to meeting her parents for the first time. Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t talk. Finding the silence to be awkward, Charming was tempted to try and find something to say but Henry, who knew his mother enough to know she needed some time, indicated him not to.

“You can’t see it, but the ship is right here,” announced Emma at the end of their silent walk. “Maybe you should walk aboard just in case you need to find us during the night. Follow me.”

“I couldn’t see the ship either, on the first time when I walked aboard,” Henry told the man. “It’ll appear to you when you place your foot on the first step.”

“Wow!” Once on deck, Charming looked around. “So this is where you’ve been living for months?”

“Yes!” Henry replied, his natural enthusiasm coming out.

“I first came here a year ago. It’s not as luxurious as the castle, but it feels like home.”

“I can understand that,” her father nodded.

“Have you not lived all your life in a castle?” Henry asked.

“You’d be surprised,” he chuckled.

Willing to think of something else than the fact she had lost Killian, Emma gave in to curiosity. “What do you mean?”

“That’s a long story, too long to be told now, but to make it simple, I haven’t always been a royal. I’ve grown up living in a farm as a shepherd with my mother.”

“Really?” She didn’t remember reading this part of the story.

“Yes. But as I said, it’d take a while to explain everything. Your mother is right, you should get some rest. If you want to know more, tomorrow, I can tell you the story of the shepherd who became a prince.”

“Are you sure you want to come with us?”

“Yes. Unless you don’t want us to?”

“Us?” Emma asked.

“Snow will want to come as well.”

“But… You rule this kingdom, the people need you.”

“They will understand. You’re our daughter.”

“No. I’m sorry,” said Emma. “I can’t let you leave everything behind because of me.”

“Alright, alright. Look, here’s what we’re going to do: spend the night here, and tomorrow morning, come back to us. Or we can come to you if you don’t want to walk back to the castle. Then, we’ll decide about what to do. Does that sound okay?” Emma nodded and her father added, “Well, I should go now.”

But he awkwardly stood in front of her, obviously hesitating to do something. After a few silent seconds, he stepped forward and hugged his daughter, cradling her head like he had done when he had met her in the morning.

“Sorry if that felt awkward,” he said with an embarrassed smile when he pulled away. “When I see how your mother acts with you, it just looks natural to her. I’m not so much at ease.”

“It seems like I’ve taken that from you.” Emma gave her father a weak smile. “I don’t really know how to act either, when I’m with her or when I’m with you. And when I met Henry… from the very start it looked so easy for Killian to act like a father, while I had no idea about what I was supposed to do.”

“But it became better and better day after day,” added Henry, looking at Charming. “You just need some time.”

“Well, if my daughter is like me, it should be fine.” Charming was smiling, obviously pleased to have something in common with Emma. “It’s getting late, I’m going now. Unless you want me to stay here?”

“No, don’t worry about me,” reassured Emma. “Go back to the castle.”

Somehow dreading to go back to her quarters, Emma went straight to Henry’s cabin. She was sitting on the edge of his bed to tuck him in.

“Mum, instead of sailing back to the Enchanted Forest, why don’t you teleport us? It would be much faster.”

“I hadn’t thought of that.” Emma considered the option before making a face. “But I’ve never teleported with someone else. I don’t want to risk hurting you.”

“But it’s worth the risk, if it makes us win weeks.”

“Nothing is worth the risk to hurt you.”

“Alright, you’re the one who makes the decisions.” Sitting in his bed, Henry was smiling at his mother. “But I still think you should try. I’m sure you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“What if it works on the way to the Enchanted Forest, but then I can’t do it again, and we’re stuck there, without the Jolly Roger?”

“It won’t happen. I believe in you.”

“And this is one of the many reasons why I love you.” Emma kissed his cheek and rearranged his blanket. “Now, sleep. It’s late.”

“Will you be alright, in your quarters?” Henry asked, worried the absence of Killian would be too much of a burden. “We can go to the crew’s cabin, if you want to, so we can be in the same room.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I know it’s only temporary.”

“Yes. We will find him. But… can you leave my door open?”

“Open? You always want it to be closed.”

“Not tonight. Please?”

“Alright.”

After kissing his forehead, Emma headed to the quarters. Standing behind the door, she took a deep breath and entered. It was when disappointment washed over her and tears threatened to fill her eyes when she saw the empty room that she understood why she had been dreading to come back there: somehow, she had been hoping it had all been a misunderstanding and had unconsciously been hoping that he would be there, waiting for her. But, unconsciously again, she had known her hope would be disappointed and she would end up being hurt. And this was what was happening: seeing the empty room made her feel like she was discovering again that she had lost him.

Fighting against the tears, she didn’t feel like sleeping. Instead, she went to sit at the table, on which was lying the book Henry had given her on the previous evening, for her birthday. A smile crossed her lips when she looked at the cover in which the title, ‘Operation True Love,’ was engraved. The book, entirely written by her son and illustrated by Killian, was retracing all their story. She had yet to read it, but opening it was the last thing she needed to lose control over the tears. Looking at a drawing depicting Killian and her running into each other and meeting for the first time, her vision became blurry as they filled her eyes before streaming down her cheeks. Deciding not to read it because she would be unable to enjoy it like she should, she simply looked through the pages and a sob escaped her when she saw herself and Killian sitting on the railing of the ship and kissing for the first time. Looking at these pictures was somehow hurting her, but she also didn’t want to stop. She needed to see them. Landing on a drawing of them astride a horse, she let out another sob. She knew very well which part of their story the picture was reflecting: Killian had saved her from the Evil Queen for the second time, awaking her from a cursed sleep after having sailed for weeks to find her. She also knew that, if he had needed to sail for months, he would have done it, just like she was ready to do anything for him. Tears rolling down her cheeks, she trailed her fingers over Killian’s face.

“I will find you,” she whispered while letting her tears fall down.

Flattening her lips, she closed the book and went to lie down on the bed. Holding Killian’s ring and staring at the ceiling, she let the tears stream down her face and dampen her hair. Alone in their bed, she was feeling his absence more than ever. The worst part was that she had no idea how long it would take her to find him. All she knew was that she was terribly missing him already.

She was thinking of the upcoming day; they would leave for the Enchanted Forest to find the lake and regenerate the magic bean. She considered again Henry’s idea to teleport and, even if she had done it twice, it had been totally uncontrolled and she wasn’t sure she was feeling ready to take the risk to try again. But no matter how they would go to Lake Nostos, it was not solving the problem that she only had one magic bean. She needed another way to travel between realms so that, after finding Killian, she could come back to the realm where they both belonged. And she had an idea about where to find it, or at least about whom to ask: mermaids could travel between realms. Liam, who was exploring the underwater kingdom with Ariel, with whom he had found love, had left his brother a seashell they could use to call them in case they needed to; in the morning, she would be able to use it and ask for their help.

Suddenly wondering where the seashell was, she got up, went to open the cupboard in which she suspected it to be, and sighed with relief as she found it. In the meantime, she also opened one of the drawers and checked the magic bean was still there. Opening the small pouch, she emptied the content in the palm of her hand and examined the dry bean before putting it back. It seemed like the only thing left that she needed was some sleep.

Slipping under the blanket, tears started to roll down her cheeks again and she didn’t try to stop them; no one was there to see her cry, she didn’t need to pretend she was strong or to hide the pain of not having him by her side. Lying in this bed alone simply didn’t feel the same. She wrapped the blanket around her as tightly as she could, but it didn’t replace the feeling of his loving embrace. When she turned around, however, something reminded her of him. She brushed her nose against the pillow and, indeed, there it was; his scent. Settling herself against the wall, which was his side of the bed, she kept the blanket tightly wrapped around her and her fingers closed on the ring he had given her, and pressed her face against the pillow to focus on his scent. Her breathing slowed down, tears became less abundant and eventually stopped flowing and, out of exhaustion, she drifted into sleep. But it wasn’t the peaceful sleep she had hoped for: soon, she found herself in a room where everything was red.

“No…”

She immediately recognized the room with the red curtains on fire. She turned around to check and, like in her memories, there was no door or window. She had already been there and she hadn’t thought she would come back, but she perfectly knew why she was there; Netherworld was a place she had been visiting as a consequence of the sleeping curse. If she had not been there for such a long time, it was because she had spent her nights in Killian’s arms; knowing the true love’s kiss was the cure to a sleeping curse, they had hypothesized that Killian’s loving embrace was powerful enough to counter its side effect. And their hypothesis had just been confirmed: not having him by her side, she was back in Netherworld. What she didn’t know was how to get out of this room; she had always escaped without understanding how, and it had usually happened when she was not expecting it. She decided not to panic and to simply wait until she would awake. But minutes went by and nothing happened; watching the flames, she started to worry: she wasn’t sure she had ever awoken on her own and wondered whether Killian wasn’t the one who, every time, had pulled her out of his place. But on this night, she was alone; what if she was trapped in this place forever because Killian wasn’t there? Unless it had all been a bad dream? The limit between dream and reality became blurry and she wondered whether Killian would be by her side when she would awake. She was suddenly pulled out of her thoughts as a flame burst right in front of her and made her jump backwards. She wasn’t safe there, she needed to leave this place.

“Come on, Emma, wake up. Wake up,” she repeated to herself many times, before shouting, “Wake up!”

Then, she felt it; this sensation she remembered having felt right before waking up: a warm touch on her shoulder.

“Killian?”

Touching the hand on her shoulder and frowning as it felt different than usual, the room on fire disappeared and she found herself back in the quarters.

“Killian?” she asked while turning around.

“Sorry, it’s just me,” said Henry, standing beside her bed. “Netherworld?”

“Yes.” Looking around, Emma realized it had not all been a bad dream; it was real, Killian was not there. She also noticed it was still pitch dark outside, and she turned to her son. “What are you doing here? Are you alright?”

Henry seemed surprised by her question. “I’m fine. But you were having a bad dream. I’ve heard you scream, ‘wake up,’ so I came.”

It occurred to Emma that he had guessed. “You knew. You knew that, without Killian, I’d go back to Netherworld, right?”

“I guessed it might happen, yes. But I haven’t said anything, in case it didn’t.”

“That’s why you asked me to leave your door open?”

“Yes. I wanted to hear you in case you needed help to wake up. I remember sometimes I didn’t know how to awake.” Henry was referring to his own trips to Netherworld, due to a sleeping curse into which he had put himself at the time when he was living with the Evil Queen. Henry showed her his ring, which the Dark One had given him, and reminded her, “Without this ring, I’d still go there. And for you, Killian has that power. But now that he’s away… I think you should have my ring until we find him.”

“And let you go to Netherworld instead of me? Henry, I can’t do that.” Emma felt like she would never cease to be amazed by how attentive and smart he was; he had realized Killian’s absence would cause her to go back to Netherworld, and he was now ready to give her his ring. “I can’t take your ring.”

“But one of us has to go there, and it shouldn’t be you. Remember Rumplestiltskin had given me a necklace before giving me this ring. With this necklace, I can go there and use it to control what I’m doing.”

“Then, give me the necklace,” Emma said with a tone implying the problem was settled.

“But… Mum!” Henry tried to protest but he knew that he wouldn’t convince her.

And he was right. “I’m not letting you go to Netherworld instead of me.”

“But that’s not fair to you. Why should it be you?”

“Because you’re my son and it’s my job to take care of you, not the other way around.”

“We can take care of each other, especially when Killian is not here for you. I want to help you.”

A tender smile stretched her lips and she sat up to pull him into a hug; she would definitely never get used to how attentive he was towards her. “Don’t you realize how much you’re already helping me? You woke me up, and now you will keep your ring and give me your necklace so I’ll be in control in Netherworld.”

“Fine,” Henry sighed while hugging her. “I’ll give you the necklace.”

“And after that, you go back to sleep.”

“Yes. I love you, mum.”

“I love you too.”

Henry got her the necklace but, though it was still very early in the morning, Emma didn’t fall back asleep. She didn’t cry again either; she was calm, impassive, as if she had finally accepted that she was where she had to be, in an unpleasant situation she had to solve. She was thinking over and over again of how they would sail to the Enchanted Forest, of how they would regenerate the magic bean and how they would use it to go back to her realm, and of how she hoped Liam and Ariel would be able to help her find a way to come back from there. Emma was also trying to imagine Killian there and was asking herself many questions; where was he exactly? Had he found a place to stay for the night? Had he met people who were helping him find his way? Was he thinking of her at this moment?

While asking herself all those questions, Emma was waiting for time to go by and for a decent hour to come, as she didn’t want to bother Liam and Ariel in the middle of the night. When dawn was about to break, she got up and went up on deck with the seashell. After blowing into it, she kept her eyes locked on the surface of the ocean. Wondering whether they had received her call, she was also wondering where she would start to explain the situation: so much had happened since they had left; they didn’t even know she had found her parents. At last, she saw them come out of the water. From the looks on their faces, Emma gathered they had guessed that, to be called so early in the morning, something wrong had happened. Using their bracelets, they both switched to their human shape and walked on board.

“What happened? Why did you call? Is everything alright?” asked Liam.

“Calm down,” Emma tried to reassure him. “The situation looks pretty bad but it’ll be all right. I’ve called because I just need your help to fix it.”

“Where’s Killian?”

“That’s the problem,” said Emma, biting her lip as she tried to think of a way to announce the news with delicacy. Not finding anything, she simply said it. “He’s not here. The Evil Queen made him fall through a portal which sent him to the realm where I lived.” Hearing her words and seeing their reactions, Emma realized she probably couldn’t have found a more brutal way to announce Killian’s disappearance. She quickly added, “But don’t worry, I know how to go there, I will find him. It’s just to bring him back here that I need your help.”

Emma meant her words; her hope to find him was so strong that she had convinced herself she would succeed. This was the only way she could go through this. It was as if, during the night, she had put her armor back on to protect herself; this armor she had kept for all those years, and which he had helped to take off by making her feel safe and at home.

“How can we help you?” Ariel asked.

“Mermaids can travel between realms, right? I have a magic bean to go there, but I need something else to come back here with Killian. Can you help us?”

“You mean you want to travel by the seas?”

“Yes, unless there’s an easier way. By the seas, by the air, I’ll take anything. Henry will be coming with me. You don’t have more of these bracelets allowing to switch from legs to tail, right?”

“No, sorry,” the mermaid apologized. “We only have two of them.”

“But it could work,” said Liam, turning to Ariel. “Love, they need you to find the way from a realm to the other, but you don’t need me. You can use my bracelet and bring Killian, Henry and Emma back one after the other.”

Hope lit up Emma’s features as the thought they would not even need to go to Lake Nostos crossed her mind: they could simply use the bracelets to go there and to come back. But Ariel didn’t look so convinced.

“It wouldn’t work. You’re forgetting how our magic works.” Ariel then addressed Emma as she explained, “Magic in our kingdom doesn’t follow the same rules as yours. When being adopted, each magical object becomes loyal to its owner. Sometimes it happens that the object works on someone else, but it’s very unlikely that Liam’s bracelet will work on the three of you. Isn’t there anything you can do with your magic?”

“Not that I can think of.” Emma was trying to think of a spell which would allow them to follow a mermaid through a portal, in vain. “I mean, unless I knew how to turn Henry, Killian and I into fishes, I don’t know what I can do.”

“I think I know!” Ariel said. “I’ve heard of something which might help you.”

“Is that going to turn us into fishes?”

“No. I don’t know what it does exactly, and I know it exists in some parts of our kingdom, but it’s rare. We might need several days before finding it.”

“It’s alright,” Emma said. “I need to go to Lake Nostos to regenerate the magic bean, it might take me weeks. While I go there, you try and find this thing, and we use the seashells to keep in touch.”

They both nodded, before Liam gave in to curiosity. “How did this all happen?”

Until the sun came up, Emma told Liam and Ariel everything about what had happened since her birthday; the lights in the sky, her parents, the ball, and Regina. With sleepy eyes, Henry joined them as soon as he woke up and hugged the three of them, before taking part in the conversation.

Agreeing they would keep each other informed, Liam and Ariel left the ship, and Emma and Henry went up to the castle. She led her son straight to the mirror in her bedroom; she wanted to see him, she needed to try the spell again. Standing in front of the mirror, her fingers closed on Killian’s ring and her eyes closed, she focused: she needed to see him, to check he was alright. Faster than on the day before, she felt the warmth of her magic spread through her body. Hoping he would appear on the mirror, she opened her eyes but, like on the previous day, she found herself facing a completely black screen.

“I don’t understand…” Emma said with disappointment tinting her words.

“I really think it’s because there’s no magic in this other realm.”

Another similarity with the previous day was that she suddenly felt dizzy. Going to sit down on the bed, Henry followed her.

“You’re alright?” he asked. “Perhaps you should avoid casting this spell again, if it makes you so tired.”

“There are times when you really sound like Killian,” Emma said with a smile which was immediately reflected upon her son’s features; as always, he loved being compared to him.

By the time she got up, she heard footsteps in the corridor, and Charming appeared in the frame of the door, followed by Snow.

“Emma! The guards told us we’d find you here.”

“How have you been?” Snow asked, coming to hug her daughter.

“Holding onto hope.” Emma hugged her mother. “I just wanted to try the mirror again, but it didn’t work. It’s time to go to Lake Nostos.”

“We’re coming with you,” announced Snow.

“Uh… are you sure?”

“Emma, we’ve just found you. We can’t let you go already.”

“But you can’t leave just like this. All the inhabitants of this island, they’re your people.”

“And they can survive without us,” said Snow.

“We’re coming with you,” affirmed Charming. “Everything is all packed already, we’re ready.”

“Unless you don’t want us to come?” Snow asked.

“No, that’s fine. If you’re sure that’s what you want…”

“We’re sure!” Her mother interrupted. “Emma, you’re our daughter, we won’t let you fight on your own for your love. We’ll help you get Killian back.”


	3. Journey

Sitting at the table, Emma was waiting for her laptop to switch on; of course, after more than a year, many updates had to be installed. Henry was asleep on the couch. It had been a very long day and she was exhausted as well, but she couldn’t sleep already: there was something she needed to do first. Seeing her laptop indicate a progression of eighteen percent, she sighed and looked up. Through the window, she could see the lights of Boston, and she realized that, in the past year, not a moment had gone by when she had missed this view.

Nineteen days earlier, she had left for a journey to find the man she loved. After filling in Liam and Ariel about the situation, she had been to the castle with Henry, to try and cast a spell on a mirror to see where Killian was, but it hadn’t worked. Her parents had joined them and, unable to convince them that they didn’t need to come with her, she had agreed they’d come to Lake Nostos, where she was going in the intent to regenerate the magic bean. Her parents had provided provisions, maps and other useful equipment and, when seeing what they had chosen to bring with them, Emma had been relieved to notice they seemed to be aware that life aboard a ship was not as luxurious as life in a castle.

“Among the things I’ve never done, there’s sailing,” warned Charming when they were ready to set sail.

“That’s alright. Killian’s a great teacher,” replied Henry with a bright smile. “He taught us. Mum and I can show you!”

Henry was reminding Emma of Killian: leading Charming and Snow to specific spots on deck, he told them what to do and, after asking his mother whether he could be the one behind the wheel, he proudly stood there. And this was not all: after putting some distance between them and the island, the boy went to the quarters and studied the maps to know in which direction they needed to go. Seeing how delighted he seemed to be, Emma did not interfere and only supervised him.

“You’re making a very good captain,” she told him. “Killian would be proud of you.”

“You think so?” Henry asked, his features lit up by a bright smile.

“No doubt about it.”

Beaming, the boy put the sextant down and hugged his mother.

When calculating that it would take them almost three weeks to sail to Lake Nostos, Emma considered the idea to teleport there. She spent a part of the afternoon standing at the prow of the ship and staring at the bow, trying to teleport there. Before that day, she had teleported twice, both times during her training sessions with the Dark One. On these times, she had known where she wanted to go and had simply stared at the spots where she wanted to be to teleport there. But on that afternoon, no matter how hard she tried to stare at the bow of the ship, she kept standing at its prow. While failing at using her magic, she realized that teleporting to Lake Nostos would require to teleport to a place she couldn’t see and where she had not even been. She still persisted on the couple next days, trying to teleport from one part of the ship to the other, but ended up giving up on the idea, preferring the safe option of sailing.

Sailing to Lake Nostos was the occasion for Emma and her parents to learn to know each other. Emma learnt that her parents had not always been living in a castle. Previously, her father had already mentioned his debuts as a shepherd. As for her mother, Emma learnt that she had spent years known as a bandit, surviving on her own in a forest in which her face was plastered on many trees. Of course, Snow and Charming also wanted to know more about their daughter, and Emma surprised herself by being able to talk about her story, including her childhood, without the slightest heartache. It was like her armor was truly back as, unconsciously, she knew the only way to go through this was to conceal her emotions. Even at night, when she was systematically visiting Netherworld, she stayed calm: she used the necklace Henry had given her to wake up, and usually got up and went on deck to relay whoever was there. Snow and Charming were worried about her and were being parents by telling her, whenever they saw her come on deck after just a couple hours, that she wasn’t sleeping enough. Every time, she replied that she was fine, and it looked like it at first. But after almost two weeks of sailing, one night, Emma opened the book she had not dared to touch all this time and, after knocking on her door, Snow entered to find her daughter sitting at the table, silent tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Emma…” Snow came to sit by her side and tossed an arm around her shoulders to pull her against her.

“I miss him.”

“It’s okay,” Snow comforted her. “It’s normal that you miss him. What wouldn’t be normal would be if you didn’t let some tears fall down once in a while. Don’t shut yourself away, Emma. You don’t need to pretend you’re not suffering.”

“That’s the only way I can deal with this.” Staring at the book, her head leaning against her mother’s shoulder, she let a few more tears roll down her cheeks. “It’s too hard.”

“I know. During one of the many times when your father and I have been separated, the pain was too much for me to take and, rather than living with it, I preferred to drink a potion and forget him.”

Opening wide eyes, Emma sat up straight. “I don’t want to forget him!”

“I know. And this is why you’re stronger than I am. I couldn’t live with this pain, but you’ve found a way to do it. You don’t have to hide how you feel from me, or your father, but if concealing your emotions helps you deal with it, then do it. You’re strong, Emma. Just don’t lose hope.”

“Thank you.” Emma leant her head against her mother’s shoulder again and took deep breaths. She remembered that when someone was coming to the quarters, it was because they needed something. “Why did you come here? Is everything alright on deck?”

“Yes. I just came to check on you. This evening, I felt like you were more thoughtful, as if your walls were not as solid as usual, today.”

“Wow. I guess that’s right.” Emma looked down, taken aback by this observation. “You really managed to feel that?”

“You’re my daughter. I’m supposed to feel those things.” Hearing these words, Emma flattened her lips, fighting back against the tears threatening to come back. Snow indicated the book. “When was this?”

“Kind of all the time.” Emma had shown the book to her parents, but had only let them quickly look through the pages because she wanted to read it before anyone would. Staring at the picture of her and Killian sitting on the railing of the ship brought a weak smile to her lips. “Killian and I stargazed almost every night. That’s one of the things I miss the most. It was so peaceful to sit there by his side and to look at the stars.”

“I’m sure it will happen soon again. In a week, we should arrive at Lake Nostos.” Snow embraced her daughter, pressing a kiss on her cheek. “Do you want me to stay here a bit longer? Maybe having someone will help you sleep better.”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

Snow nodded and got up, fully understanding her daughter’s need to be on her own. Emma reached for her mother’s wrist.

“Just… Thank you.”

This moment shared with her mother gave Emma the strength she needed and, focusing on the fact that the situation was only temporary, she was able to hold onto hope and smile on the next few days.

The closer they were to Lake Nostos, the more time she spent thinking of what would come next. Leaning on her elbows on the railing of the ship, she was watching the land come closer when her father came by her side, adopting the same position and gazing at her.

He waited for her to glance at him and flash him a smile before asking, “Are you ready?”

“I don’t know. For Lake Nostos, I think I am. Because I’ll just have to dip the bean in the water, right? It’s for what’s coming next that I don’t feel ready.” Emma looked again at the ocean before admitting something she had kept secret until then. “I’m afraid. I’m scared of what’s waiting for me there. I’m scared of what she did to Killian. What if she’s done more than simply sending him there?”

This question had been a taboo as nobody had dared to broach the subject, but it had crossed Emma’s mind more than once.

“I’ve thought about this.” In his turn, Charming looked at the ocean. “Your mother and I have dealt with Regina a few times already, and I’d be surprised if she’s left him free. My guess would be that he’s locked up somewhere.”

“I will find him. I will search every building if I have to.”

“There’s not only that. I thought of another possibility, and I think you should be prepared: Killian may not remember you when you find him. It wouldn’t be the first time she plays with memories.” Never having considered the possibility, Emma looked at him with wide eyes, and he quickly added, “But you can fix it. With a true love’s kiss.”

“Is this what you did? Snow told me she drank a potion to forget you.”

“Oh, well. I did try the true love’s kiss. But it didn’t work.”

“What? Why?”

“Because she’s been the one making the decision to drink this potion. Killian hasn’t decided anything. It will work. And maybe he will remember you; just be ready in case he doesn’t.” His daughter wasn’t saying anything. A crooked smile crossed his lips. “I wouldn’t need to warn you so early if I knew you let me and your mother come with you to this other realm.”

Emma smiled as well, amused as her father kept bringing up the subject. “I still don’t know.”

“Sure you know,” playfully teased Charming. “You don’t want to need to babysit mum and dad in this other realm which is so different from this one.”

Emma giggled. The question of whether her parents would come along had become a subject of teasing.

“You know it’s not only that.”

“I know,” admitted Charming. “But it made you smile. That’s the most important.”

Biting her lip as she was smiling even more, she let him wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her by his side, and they silently watched the ocean.

“Emma!”

Emma stood up straight and looked around.

“Liam! Ariel!” Running to the railing of the ship when he heard the woman’s voice, Henry was faster to spot the two heads out of the water.

“Ariel, Liam, these are my parents, Snow and Charming. You can also call him David,” Emma introduced once they were all on deck.

“You look so young,” pointed Ariel, her eyes shifting between them and their daughter.

“Long story,” nodded Charming.

“Emma told us parts of it, already. That must have been strange to wake up after more than twenty years spent frozen. But it’s nice to meet you.” Ariel turned to Emma. “I’m glad we found you in time.”

“We were afraid you had left to this other realm already,” added Liam.

“Have you found anything?” asked Emma.

“Yes. But that’s why we needed to see you before you left: we’ve found what I was thinking of, but there’s enough only for two people.”

“Once you regenerate the magic bean, you need to keep it for the way back,” completed Liam, “Because there’s not enough for three…”

“We kept looking, but that’s all we could find.”

“Okay…”

“Well,” Charming addressed his daughter. “It sounds like you won’t need to babysit us.”

The fact only two of them could go to her former realm was indeed solving her dilemma: only Henry would go with her. If she had been hesitating for so long, it was because her reasons to let them come with her were as convincing as her reasons not to. Having them by her side would bring her some valuable support; she was aware that Henry and her parents had been essential for her to keep hope during this trip. But having them with her would also make her feel responsible: Charming had kept teasing her about it, but she was truly worried about how confused they would be in this new realm. Besides, the thought they might not succeed to come back had crossed her mind more than once, and she was not willing to get her parents trapped in a world which was not theirs. But as it appeared that she didn’t have a choice, her reasons not to let them come with her suddenly seemed not so convincing anymore.

Snow seemed to notice. “Emma, everything’ll be fine. You’re strong, you don’t need us.”

“There’s still one problem. If we had been there together, we could have left directly from the Enchanted Forest. But now, you need to go back to your island and you can’t sail the Jolly Roger alone.”

“With me, they can,” said Liam. “You only need Ariel to go back to Killian. I can bring them back in the meantime.”

“This way we can leave this realm soon!” said Henry.

They all agreed on this plan. Quickly, they reached the land and the next step of their journey started. This step required horses and Ariel, who feared to slow them down as she had never been on one, waited for them on the ship with Liam. After Emma cast a glamor spell on her parents, Henry and herself to be unrecognizable, they left the ship and borrowed four horses from the village’s stable. Knowing the place, Snow and Charming led the way, while Emma and Henry were silently following them. All the way, Emma was lost in her thoughts, wondering what she would do in case the magic bean couldn’t be regenerated. She guessed that she and her son would just take a one-way ticket to her former realm.

* * *

“It just looks like a normal lake,” commented Henry when they found themselves in front of a lake after about one hour of horse riding.

“What did you expect?”

“I don’t know.” The boy shrugged, looking at the lake. “You said the lake had been refilled. Are you sure its water is still magic?”

“There’s only one way to find out,” said Emma.

Getting off her horse, she walked to the shore, followed by Henry. Bringing the small pouch out of her pocket, it was when she found herself right in front of the lake that she hesitated and looked back at her parents.

“So you think I only need to dip the bean into the water?”

“Yes,” confirmed her mother.

“No, wait.” Charming got off his horse. “Didn’t you tell us that, once it would regain its magic, you’d only need to toss it on the floor or into the water? What if it regenerates so fast that it instantly opens the portal? We don’t want that.”

“He’s right!” said Henry, looking thoughtful. “Mum, you need to keep the bean in your hands, while I pour some water on it.”

“Okay, let’s do that.”

“Wait,” Charming interrupted Henry before he had the time to collect some water in his hands. “We’ll use my flask.”

Emptying its content, he insisted to be the one to fill it with water. The bean in her hands, Emma held them out to him but, once again, her father countered her plans.

“If you don’t mind, I’ll take the bean,” he said while using his shirt to dry his flask.

“Why?”

“Just give me the bean and take the flask,” he said.

Though not understanding, she complied and, slowly, she poured a few drops of the lake’s water on the bean.

“Wow!” Henry was watching the scene in awe as, right before their eyes, the dried bean became bigger and translucent.

“It worked!” With a bright smile on her lips, Emma picked the bean to examine it, before safely putting it inside the pouch.

“Indeed. And the water seems to be harmless,” said Charming while examining his hands.

Emma looked indignant. “Is that why you wanted to be the one filling your flask and holding the bean?”

“I couldn’t let my daughter take the risk to come in contact with some water whose effects we didn’t really know.”

“But…”

“Emma?” called Snow. “I’ve tried, but you can’t change your father, he will never let his family take any risks when he can be the one to take them.”

“And there was no reason to be afraid. The water happened to be harmless, and you now have the magic bean. Let’s go back to the ship, it’s about time you go and find Killian.”

Having the magic bean in her pocket made Emma hopeful and cheerful, because regenerating it was one more step closer to finding Killian. Back on her horse, she cast her son a playful look and, catching it, Henry smirked, understanding her intentions; both of them went past Snow and Charming and galloped as fast as they could, racing each other. Charming’s voice then resounded and Emma stopped to turn around, suddenly in alert.

“What?”

“Wrong way!” Charming shouted, indicating the path on his right.

“The first one to grandpa wins!” Henry defied his mother before turning back.

Leaving with a head start, Henry was finally caught up by his mother and they reached Charming and Snow at the same time, both laughing.

“That was fun!” said Henry.

“We’re dealing with kids,” commented Charming, sounding amused while looking at his daughter. “It’s good that, after all this time, you can still give us this impression.”

Emma flashed him a smile. “Never too late to catch up, right?”

* * *

 

“We have the bean!” announced Emma once they arrived on deck. “Ariel, I didn’t have time to ask you: what is this thing that you found, that will allow me and Henry to follow you?”

The information that there was enough for only two of them had made her forget to ask about what it was.

“It’s this.” The mermaid brought out of her pouch a handful of green seaweed.

“Must be kidding me,” whispered Emma, staring at Ariel’s hand before looking up at her and Liam. “Is that gillyweed?”

“Yes! That’s the name.”

“Have you ever used this?” asked Liam.

“No, I just… I’ve read about it in books. I didn’t know that was real.”

“Mum! Can you make this waterproof?” Henry ran to his mother with his expandable bag.

“What do you need that for?” asked Emma.

“You said your realm was very different. Maybe I’ll want to bring some stuff back from there.”

“Kid, I’m not sure that’ll work.”

“I believe it will!” said Henry, before getting distracted by the seaweed in Ariel’s hand. “What’s that?”

“Gillyweed. That’s what you and your mother will use to come with me and leave this realm.”

“If it’s like in the stories I’ve read, we will have gills and webbed fingers and toes.”

Henry looked up, repressing a laugh. “But in your stories, Killian has perms and waxed mustaches.”

“They’re not the same stories. The story about this seems to be more accurate.”

“Wait.” Henry looked from his mother to the seaweed. “You really think we’ll get gills and webbed fingers?”

“Yes,” replied Ariel. “That’s how you’ll follow me.”

“Awesome! Are we leaving now?”

“Not yet. There’s still something I need to do.”

“What are you up to?” asked Snow, following her daughter to the quarters.

“Something I haven’t dared to do since we left. But I need to try once again. If it works, it could help me find him.”

What was scaring her was the possibility of a vain attempt. But she needed to try; closing her eyes and clutching the ring, she used her magic to conjure a mirror.

“I didn’t know you could create a new mirror just like this,” commented Charming.

“I can, but I haven’t done it earlier, or I would have spent my days standing in front of it, trying to get something else than a black screen.”

“That’s a good decision you made. Do you have enough energy to try now?” asked her father.

Emma nodded and, still clutching her ring, closed her eyes again, hoping to see Killian appear on the mirror. Focusing, she felt the usual warmth of her magic spread through her body.

“Mum! You did it!”

Opening her eyes, Emma found herself facing an image of a street.

“Wow! Is that what your world looks like?” asked her son.

“Yes, but I don’t understand… Where’s Killian?”

“I think he just went inside that Starbucks thing,” said Charming. “The door was just closing when the image appeared.”

“What’s Starbucks?” asked Snow.

“It’s a coffee shop.” Getting over the disappointment Killian was not visible, Emma examined the image on the mirror. It was like she was seeing the view from the sidewalk and, across the street, there was the Starbucks.

“What’s that?” Charming suddenly asked.

“Is that what you talked about?” her son asked. “Cars?”

“Yes. The traffic lights probably turned green,” replied Emma, thoughtful. “I know this place.”

“Really?” Snow came closer to her daughter. “Do you know where it is?”

“It must be somewhere in Boston. There are many of those Starbucks, but I’m sure I’ve already been to this one.” Feeling the energy spent to maintain the spell, she let the mirror turn back to a simple mirror again, and turned to Henry and her parents with a smile full of hope. “I don’t remember exactly where it is, but I can go back to Boston with Henry. That’s where I lived, I can go back to my place. There, I’ll have what I need to find this Starbucks. And I’ll find Killian.”

“Brilliant! Once we find the coffee shop, he won’t be too far from there.”

“He may even go back there. We’ll just need to watch the surroundings until we find him.”

“When do we leave?” asked Henry excitedly.

“Now.” Emma looked up at her parents. “Liam will bring you back to the castle. Do you need anything before we go?”

“No. Go, Emma. Go and find Killian. And be careful.”

“I will.”

She hugged her parents and took care of the final preparations with Henry. Then, they found Ariel on deck.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes! I’ve been willing to go underwater for so long!” said Henry. “Are we going now? Like, right now?”

“Yes, it’s time to go. Ariel?”

“Here’s the gillyweed.”

“Henry, if what I know is true, you’ll need to eat this.” Emma handed him a handful of gillyweed. “I know it’s not very appetizing, but convince yourself that’s salad. And then, it should be very quick.”

Wearing skintight clothes, with their shoes and spare garments in Henry’s bag that Emma had made waterproof, they were ready to go. Liam took care of setting sail and, once far enough of the land, Ariel went into the water and waited for them. Emma and Henry walked down the steps usually leading on the docks, each holding a handful of gillyweed, and stood on the last step. Looking down at the water, Emma wondered whether she was right to take Henry with her. But she convinced herself that leaving him there, in this realm where the Evil Queen could find him anytime, was not a conceivable option.

“Let’s go.”

Emma took a deep breath and tucked the gillyweed into her mouth. Henry imitated her and jumped into the water right after her. What happened next was the strangest thing she had ever experienced. The gillyweed acted exactly like she expected, but the feeling of gills developing in her throat was rather unpleasant, and the ability to use them and breathe underwater was indescribable. Another surprising element was to see her son swimming around, obviously fascinated by his webbed hands and feet. He swam back to his mother.

“It’s awesome!” he tried to say, the sound of his voice muffled by the water.

Ariel indicated to follow her and led them deeper in the ocean. Emma was surprised by the immenseness of the ocean: as far as her human eye was able to see, there was nothing but the shadow of the Jolly Roger above them in sight. But even if they seemed to be alone, Emma kept close to Henry and, when Ariel was ready to open the portal, she grabbed her son’s arm to stop him from swimming around.

The opening of the portal seemed to be controlled by the mind as Emma didn’t notice any move coming from Ariel before a large and white circle of light appeared in front of them. If it didn’t look reassuring to Emma, Henry seemed mesmerized. The mermaid indicated them to come closer. She took their hands before leading them through the portal. The bright light intensified, and they were able to see nothing but whiteness around them. After a moment, the light softened, and again they found themselves in the ocean. Emma looked around, unsure it had worked, as what was in front of her didn’t look different. But she didn’t have time to say anything as, suddenly, her throat became painful. This confirmed they were not in the Enchanted Forest anymore; they had expected the gillyweed to lose its effect through the portal. Clutching her throat, Emma felt Ariel grab her arm and pull her towards the surface.

“Henry! Are you alright?” Emma asked as soon as she emerged and caught her breath.

“Yes.” Examining his fingers which looked like fingers again, he seemed disappointed. He looked up at his mother and smiled again. “That was the most unbelievable experience I’ve ever had! Did it work, are we in your realm?”

“Look behind you.”

Henry turned around. “Wow!”

“I’ve never seen such a village,” commented Ariel, looking at the town skyline.

“This is not a village. This is Boston.” Emma was unable to repress a smile, not because she was back in this city she knew, but because she knew Killian was there somewhere: it had worked, they had travelled from one realm to another, and it had brought her closer to the man she loved.

Luckily, the ocean was calm on that day, and Ariel led the both of them to the shore without difficulty.

“Are you sure I can’t help more?” asked the mermaid.

“You’ve already helped a lot and now, it’s my turn to be in charge, because this is the realm I know. And Liam will get worried if you don’t go back to him soon.”

“Do you still have the seashell to call us if you need to?”

“Yes.”

The mermaid flashed Emma a smile and quickly hugged her. “Good luck. Come back soon.”

“We’ll find Killian and come back as soon as we can.”

“Mum! Your spell, it worked! Water didn’t get inside,” said Henry right after Ariel disappeared into the ocean, looking through his bag.

“Great. First thing we should do: change into dry clothes, or people will look at us strangely. They probably will anyway, but let’s minimize the risks. And then, we go to my place.” Noticing how her son was staring at her, she added, “What?”

“I think this deserves an operation name.” As always, he was radiant, and his good mood was contagious.

“Do you have an idea?”

“How about Operation Going Home? The operation will be complete after we find Killian and go back home together.”

“That works for me! And Operation Going Home starts now. Change into your other clothes.”

“Don’t look!”

Amused, Emma brought out of the bag her own clothes and went to change.

“Do you know where we are?” asked Henry once they were ready to go.

“Precisely. And I hope you’re not tired already, because we’ll need to walk about one hour to go to my place.”

“I’m not tired!” Henry beamed, obviously excited at the idea of having one hour to discover this new world.

“Good. Come with me.”

Holding out her hand, she waited for her son to take it before leaving the shore.

“Wow!” Though Emma had told him about cars and he had even seen an image of them when she had bewitched a mirror, Henry’s eyes followed the first car which went past them. Walking by his mother’s side, he kept looking around. “These look weird,” he commented on the three-story houses surrounding them. “Does your place look like that?”

Emma gave him an amused look. “You may probably find my place even weirder. Do you remember these huge buildings we saw when we came out of the water? I live in one of those.”

“Wow! And it’s all yours?”

His question amused her. “Kid, we’re not in a land of fairytales where people live in castles. I just have a small apartment.”

“Other people live with you?”

“Not with me, all the apartments are separated. But we’re all in the same building, yes. Careful!” Emma stopped him from stepping on the road right in time. Until then walking through quiet quarters, this was the first street with so much traffic that they crossed. “See the red light across the street? It means we have to wait. When the red hand switches to a white man, we can cross the street.”

They kept walking through the town while the sun was setting, and Henry kept asking questions and commenting on everything he was seeing. Mostly amused by all these unexpected questions making her realize how different this realm was from the Enchanted Forest, Emma was taking the time to answer all of them. She talked about the buses, about all the different shops and restaurants, and about anything that was catching his attention. She also explained why they couldn’t do like the woman who had waved at a taxi to stop it, telling her son that they had no choice but walking because she didn’t have any money with her. Henry had countless questions to ask, but the closer they were to their destination, the quieter he was as tiredness became apparent.

“Mum, look! Starbucks!” He said after several minutes of silence. “Isn’t that where the mirror showed Killian?”

Losing herself in her thoughts while he had been so silent and looking around at least as much as her son, thinking of how Killian could be anywhere near them, Emma felt her heart skip a beat when Henry pointed at the Starbucks. But her hopes quickly faded. “The mirror showed Killian at a Starbucks, but it didn’t look like this one. When we arrive at my place, I should have what I need to locate the right Starbucks. We’re almost there.”

At last, they arrived. Emma had been worried about what could have happened during the year when she had been missing, but seeing her car where she had left it reassured her; if her car was still there, so would probably be her apartment.

“What’s that?” Henry asked when the metallic doors opened in front of him.

“The elevator,” Emma answered, once again amused. “Trust me, you don’t want to use the stairs, my apartment is on the twentieth floor.”

“What will it do?”

“You’ll see. Come on.” Emma led him inside and indicated the buttons. “It’s very easy to use. Press the number twenty.”

Henry complied and kept looking around. When the doors opened to a new place, he opened wide eyes. “Awesome!”

“Number two hundred and five is my apartment,” Emma indicated her door which was, as she expected, closed. She brought out of the bag a metallic strand and inserted it inside the keyhole to work on the lock. “What I’m doing right now, it is not right. But in this situation, it is, because the apartment is mine.”

“Are you trying to unlock the door?” Henry asked, watching her with attention.

“Yes.”

Keeping her ear close to the lock, she moved the wire inside the keyhole while carefully listening to the metallic sounds inside it. At last, a victorious smile appeared on her features and she got up.

“And here’s how you unlock a door without the key. But I repeat: that’s usually not a right thing to do.”

“Alright, that’s bad form, I get it,” summarized Henry before giving his mother an inquiring look. “Where did you learn how to do that?”

“Uh… That was a long time ago.” Emma looked like a child getting caught as she admitted, “Not good form.”

Henry chuckled at the idea of his mother misbehaving, and walked through the door she had just opened.

“Cool!” he commented as he looked around.

“It’s exactly how I left it more than a year ago,” Emma observed.

It seemed like nobody had noticed the apartment had been vacant for more than a year; the shoes and the dress she had been wearing on the last day she had spent there were where she had left them, and so were her keys and the wrapping of her birthday cupcake, laying on the table. Henry went to look through the window, gazing at the town on which the night was falling and, curious, walked around. He headed to the kitchen, which was to him the most intriguing part of the room.

“Wow! What’s that?” he asked when he opened a door and lights were turned on.

Pulled out of her thoughts and until then still standing in the entrance, she joined him. “That’s the fridge. It allows to preserve food. Well, for a limited time obviously. Yuk, let me get rid of all of this.”

“You never talked about that fridge thing!”

“Surely I forgot to mention it,” Emma said while throwing away the expired food. She opened one of the cupboards. “I do have pasta.”

Walking past all these restaurants without being able to buy anything had made them hungry, and Emma had mentioned she probably had some pasta.

While boiling some water, she showed Henry around. The visit lasted longer than she had expected as many elements, though insignificant to her, seemed to be of great interest to Henry. She switched on her laptop, and the device got Henry’s whole attention.

Emma flashed him a smile. “That’s my own way to navigate.”

“How does that work? Is it like a sextant?”

She considered the comparison for a second before shaking her head. “Not really. It’s more like a map, and we can see what every Starbucks looks like. I’ll show you. Well…” Emma sighed as the laptop started to update. “For now we need to wait. We have time to eat.”

“What is it doing?”

“Updates. A lot of them, since I haven’t used it for so long.”

While eating some spaghetti Bolognese, Emma tried to answer his questions and explain him what were updates, the Internet and Wi-Fi.

“You know, I’m really trying,” he said with a smile, “But I’m not sure I understand everything.”

“Don’t worry, that’s totally normal. You’re doing great already.”

After dinner, Emma washed the dishes while Henry went to sit on the couch. By the time she finished, Henry was asleep. Seeing him made her realize she was exhausted as well, but she didn’t want to sleep. She needed to find Killian, she needed to know where the Starbucks was. Sitting at the table, she sighed when she saw her laptop indicate a progression of eighteen percent. She looked at the city lights through the window, and quickly got lost in her thoughts, thinking of the journey which had led her back to Boston.

Emma started with surprise when a sound pulled her out of her thoughts; at last, the updates were complete. The desktop appeared and her attention was caught by the date: November the thirteenth; three weeks earlier, she had been in Killian’s arms, celebrating her birthday. They had seen the lights in the sky, these lanterns her parents were sending in the hope she would find them. On the next day, she had found them, but in the evening of that same day, Killian had been taken away from her. Emma shook her head to avoid getting lost in her thoughts again and checked the Wi-Fi connection. She was relieved to see that in the past year, this had not changed: her neighbor across the landing had not moved and his Wi-Fi connection she had hacked was still available.

She knew exactly what to do, and being aware of how close she was to know more about Killian’s whereabouts made her feel nervous. Impatiently, she waited for the page to load. When it finally appeared, she was taken aback by the number of dots on the map.

“There must be at least forty Starbucks!” The words escaped her and awakened Henry.

“Are you looking for Killian?” he asked while joining her at the table.

“Yes.” She pulled a chair by her side. “Come here, I can show you if you want.”

Henry sat down and examined the screen. “That’s a strange map.”

“Quite different from maps of oceans and forests, uh? This one is a map of the whole realm. You can zoom in and out. All of this is Boston. Here is where we are, and this place is where we arrived with Ariel.” Emma indicated the different places on the map. “There’s something very convenient about this map, I’ve used it many times, whenever I needed to find a place. You see all the red dots? Each one is a Starbucks. And what we can do is take this little guy here and drag him to one of them. This one for example.”

Examining central Boston, Emma unclicked at the level of the northernmost dot and the street view mode was activated. She changed the direction and a Starbucks appeared.

“Wow! That, too, is technology?”

“Yes.” Emma was amused again. “Still no magic in this realm. No magic, but hopefully we won’t need it to find the right Starbucks. Which is not this one.”

Emma proceeded to switch from map view to street view, checking dot after dot from north to south. Each time the street view was loading, she felt nervous, expecting to find the right coffee shop anytime. But it didn’t happen.

“I’m sure I’ve checked them all…”

“Can you go back to this one?” Henry, who had silently watched what his mother was doing, pointed one of the dots and Emma switched once again to street view. “Don’t you think it looks like what the mirror showed us?”

Hopeful, she examined it, but shook her head.

“No, it’s not this one. I remember what the mirror showed. The building looked like this, that’s the right color, but the right Starbucks must be at the corner of a street. This one isn’t. We’ve checked only the central part of Boston, maybe it’s one further from the center… but I’m sure I’ve been to this Starbucks the mirror showed, and I’ve rarely been in these parts of the city.” Gazing at the map, Emma was thinking out loud as she tried to remember where she had seen this coffee shop. “Oh!”

Suddenly, it came back to her, and the image of the Starbucks found itself associated with the name of a street which she typed, along with the name of another city. Not understanding what was happening, but unwilling to disturb her, Henry remained silent as he watched his mother loading another map and switching to street view again. She rotated the view and there it was; the Starbucks the mirror had showed.

Emma looked taken aback. “Killian’s not here, he’s in New York.”


	4. Something Unexpected

“What’s New York?” Henry asked.

Lost in her thoughts, Emma was gazing at the map. There was no doubt about it; the Starbucks she was looking at was the one the mirror had showed. She had been wrong when thinking it was in Boston: Killian was in New York.

“Mum? What's New York?” Henry repeated, this time catching her attention.

“Another town. I’ve been there because of my job, that's how I know this Starbucks.”

“That means we’re not in the right place? Is New York far from here?”

“We can go by car.” Thoughts rushing through her mind as she considered this solution, Emma stood up, ready to leave, but then paused, looking at her son. “Maybe waiting for tomorrow is the reasonable thing to do.”

“Why? I'm not that tired, you know? We can go now if you want to!”

His excitement for the next part of the adventure made her smile but wasn't enough to convince her. “You need to sleep. And I need to take care of a few details before we can go. We're leaving tomorrow morning.”

It was late at night and Emma was still on her laptop. Henry was sleeping in her bedroom; something he had accepted only after making sure she would get some sleep as well. And she had tried to but, lying back on the couch, she had kept her eyes open. At last, she had decided not to wait for the next day to take care of the last preparations. Switching her laptop on again, she had proceeded to look for an accommodation on a website where people were renting their apartments; she didn't know how long they would be in this realm, but she thought they might need a place to stay for a few nights. Quickly, she started chatting with a woman leaving on a vacation on the next day and therefore urgently looking for a tenant. The woman was living in a neighborhood not too far from the Starbucks, in a two-rooms apartment, which was perfect for her and Henry. The only inconvenient was that the woman was leaving for two months and renting her apartment for the whole period but, unwilling to explain why she had no idea about how many nights she would need to stay, Emma accepted. It would be expensive, but she didn't care: she didn't intend to ever come back to this realm; once they would be back in the Enchanted Forest, the money on her bank account would be of no use. After agreeing on a place where the woman would hide the key, Emma gathered her few belongings that might be useful in New York. Finding her cellphone, she hesitated before finally putting it in the bag along with a few clothes, her laptop, her wallet and all the cash. She wandered around the apartment, but nothing else seemed to be of any use. Lying back on the couch, it took her almost one hour before falling asleep out of exhaustion.

* * *

 

“And this? What's it for?”

Emma glanced sideways to see what Henry was indicating. “Don't touch this! It would open the door.”

“Oh, okay.”

Emma and Henry were on the road and the boy, who was in a car for the first time, was displaying his natural curiosity. They had both awakened at dawn, which had allowed them to leave for New York rather early.

“What about this button?” Henry asked after taking another bite of his bagel.

“Go ahead, press it,” Emma said with a smile, curious to see his reaction.

Henry gladly did as he was told, and his look of surprise made his mother laugh as music filled the car.

“Music of this realm! I like this song.” In a good mood because she knew she was getting closer to Killian, Emma turned up the radio and started to sing along. “Don’t stop me now, cause I’m having a good time, don’t stop me now, yes I’m having a good time.”

Henry burst out of laughter. “I didn't know you could sing.”

“I wouldn't say I can. I prefer to say I'm destroying the songs. But no one needs to know; not a word to anyone!”

Henry chuckled. “It can be our secret. That's a weird music, though.”

After the song ended, changing the frequencies and listening to different types of music kept Henry busy for a while. One of the songs caught Emma’s full attention, and she got lost in her thoughts as she listened to the lyrics.

“Mum? Are you alright?”

“Hmm?” Pulled out of her thoughts, she glanced at her son.

“You seemed thoughtful.”

“I’m fine. It’s just… this song. These lyrics…” Emma recited, “And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide, sing out this song and I'll be there by your side, storm clouds may gather and stars may collide, but I love you until the end of time, come what may, I will love you until my dying day… They just made me think of Killian.”

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Henry reassured. “Maybe we won’t even need this apartment because tonight we’ll go back to the Enchanted Forest with him.”

This was enough to get Emma lost in her thoughts again. She wished her son was right because it’d mean she’d reunite with Killian within a few hours, but her tendency to expect the worst was letting her think it wouldn’t be so easy. They didn’t even know what Regina had done to him. The possibility he might not even remember her came back to her mind.

“Do you think a true love's kiss would work in a world without magic?” The question escaped her as she thought of how even her nightmares due to the sleeping curse had stopped.

Henry seriously considered the question before answering. “Yes. You and Killian say love is the most powerful magic in the world. It probably doesn’t care whether there’s magic or not in this realm.”

“Love only obeys its own rules,” Emma tried to convince herself.

The conversation made Henry thoughtful. “If he doesn't remember you, I think you should just go for it, because that means you'll be a stranger to him, and that's surely weird to be kissed by a stranger, right?”

His question made her smile. “You’re right. I wouldn’t like it.”

“Though he probably wouldn't mind, if that stranger is you. I mean, you're everything he loves; even if he doesn't remember you, he'll fall in love with you at first sight, just like he did when you two met.” Her look of surprise amused him. “I’ve written your story, remember?”

“Right. So that’s the plan: we find him. If he doesn’t remember me, I kiss him. And we go back home.”

“Yes!”

* * *

 

After a four-hour drive, they arrived in Manhattan. Having carefully studied the map during the night, Emma didn’t even need her notes to know where she had to go.

“Starbucks is on this street,” warned Emma. “It will be on the left.”

Paying attention to the line of cars along the side of the road, she was looking for a parking spot but she could see none.

“There’s the Starbucks!” Henry pointed a building ahead of them.

Emma’s attention was then drawn to a woman opening her car door.

“She’s surely leaving!”

Slowing down, Emma then stopped in the middle of the street and waited while the woman entered her car. Impatiently, those behind her started to honk, but Emma ignored them and waited until the woman left.

“We’re lucky!” Emma said while parking her car. “I was really doubting we’d find a place, and this one is perfect.”

The Starbucks being at their level on the other side of the road, they could even watch the coffee shop from the car, like she had done so many times during the previous years as a part of her job. The building was indeed the one the mirror had showed, and its sight suddenly made Emma feel nervous.

“Let’s go!”

Deciding it was useless to wait any longer, she got out of the car and Henry followed. Standing on the side of the road, she anxiously waited for the lights for pedestrians to turn green, but the cars kept passing by.

“What are we going to do?” asked Henry. “Do you think he’s still in there?”

The thought of Killian being inside the coffee shop tied her stomach into a knot, but seemed unlikely. “Surely not. But I’m going to ask the staff. Maybe they’ll know something which could help us find him. At last!”

Traffic lights went red and they could finally cross the street.

“You’re ready?” Henry asked, noticing her nervousness.

“Yes. Let’s go.”

They entered the coffee shop and Emma couldn’t stop herself from scanning the room, but the one she loved wasn’t there. Joining the queue, she and Henry needed to wait for a couple minutes before it was their turn.

“Hi, we’re not here to order,” announced Emma. “We’re looking for someone; have you seen a tall black-haired and blue-eyed man, with a hook instead of a hand?”

“A hook instead of a hand?” the man around forty repeated, looking at them as if they were crazy. “What, are you looking for Captain Hook?”

“Yes, Captain Hook, that’s him!” Henry said enthusiastically. “But without the perms and…”

Emma nudged her son to silence him, as he obviously hadn’t noticed the sarcasm. She tried again. “Are you sure you haven’t seen a man dressed with unusual clothes and a hook?”

“Madam, there’s no Captain Hook here, we’re not in Neverland. Now, get out of my shop, customers are waiting.”

“You write names on these coffee cups you sell. His name is Killian. Don’t you remember…”

“Get out!” The man interrupted Emma, dismissing her and Henry.

“That was not a nice man,” the boy commented once they were outside.

“That’s fine, we can just go and wait in the car, see if Killian comes back.”

* * *

 

“Do you have some paper and a pen?” asked Henry after finishing his onion rings.

“Check the glove box. That thing in front of you.” Emma leant towards him to open it and brought out a notebook and a pen. “Always keeping those here. Why do you need that?”

“To help the Starbucks man remember Killian.”

Sitting in the car and keeping an eye on the surroundings, Emma kept glancing at her son. Quickly, she guessed what he meant to do as the sketch appeared on the blank page.

“Where did you learn how to draw like this?”

“I don’t know,” Henry shrugged, looking up at her with a smile. “Killian says I’m a natural.”

“He must be right,” said Emma, contemplating the sketch of the man she loved.

“But I always struggle with getting the nose right,” commented the boy while trying to fix the sketch.

“I think it looks great.”

“You think so? We can recognize that’s Killian?”

“Yes!”

Henry smiled brightly. “We need to go back to Starbucks! Maybe seeing the drawing will make him remember.”

Emma approved and both of them left the car.

“You again? Still looking for Captain Hook?”

“Yes,” Emma answered defiantly, disliking his mocking tone.

“And that’s what he looks like,” added Henry, placing the notebook on the counter.

But the man barely glanced at it, preferring to stare at Emma instead. “Do you know how many customers I have every day? Do you think I remember every one of them?”

“At least try!” Emma grabbed the notebook and brought it closer to the man. “Don’t you remember having seen this man?”

With a sigh, the man reluctantly looked at the drawing. “Actually, yes, I think I’ve seen him this morning. But I might be mistaken. I’ve seen no man with a hook.”

Her eyes lit up with hope. “Have you seen him yesterday morning? And on the days before?”

“Madam, I don’t keep a calendar to keep track of every customer. I possibly saw him yesterday.”

“Do you remember what time it was when you saw him?” she insisted, trying to get as much information as she could.

“Of course not! Now, please let me do my job.” Losing the little patience he had, he dismissed them again.

“He’s really rude,” Henry commented.

“But he still gave us some useful information: Killian surely came here this morning, and yesterday morning. All we need to do is to come back tomorrow and wait for him.”

“How do you know he’ll come back?”

“I’ve tracked enough people to know that they often have their routines: if someone goes to a same place two days in a row, they’re likely to come back on the next day. Now, we just need a place for the night.”

Deciding to leave the car where it was parked because finding a spot close to the Starbucks seemed so uncertain, Emma and Henry went on foot to the apartment she had rented. It was only a few blocks away from the coffee shop and, as planned, Emma found the key the woman had left in the flowerbed at the entrance of the apartment block. Located on the ninth floor, the fully-furnished apartment was larger than the one Emma had in Boston, with two bedrooms instead of only one.

After taking possession of the place, they quickly decided to go back outside, in case Killian was wandering around. But they spent a couple hours visiting the surroundings and found no sign of him. Since they had nothing to eat at the apartment, Emma took Henry to a place he had never been to.

“There’s one over here,” said Emma.

“Is this the thing you talked about?” asked Henry. “A pizzeria?”

“Yes!”

His excitement to discover something new was palpable. “Can we eat here?”

“That’s the plan!”

Flashing him a smile, she opened the door and let him enter before her. A waiter welcomed them and led them to a table by the window.

Henry thoughtfully frowned when he looked at the menu. “What’s this?”

“Italian. That’s another language. But you have the description in English next to the Italian name.”

“And I have to choose one out of all of them?” The boy frowned again when he noticed one of the names. “There’s a pizza called Regina.”

Emma didn’t have time to answer as the waiter came back.

“Would you like anything to drink?”

Considering the question, she cast an amused look at her son before answering, “A coca. For both of us.”

“What’s a coca?” He asked when the waiter left.

“A drink. I’m making you try a few things from this world before we go back home. Did you choose your pizza?”

“Not yet.”

Henry carefully studied the menu until the waiter came with the drinks a couple minutes later.

“Are you ready to order?”

“Henry?”

“Yes.” He pointed a name on the menu. “I’ll have this pizza, please, the Bolognese pizza.”

“It’ll be the Caesar salad for me.”

“You’re not having a pizza?” asked Henry.

“No, I’m not very hungry. Here, try this.”

Emma pushed one of the drinks toward him and the boy examined the content of the glass before taking a sip. His mother giggled when she saw his face.

“That’s weird,” he commented. “It fizzes on the tongue.”

“Don’t you like it?”

“I don’t know. I just didn’t expect that.” He seemed thoughtful as he took another sip. “I like it.”

At last, the waiter came back with the salad and the pizza, which Henry happened to love.

“You never mentioned how good these were!”

“I probably had more interesting things to think of,” Emma said distractedly while looking through the window.

“Mum. We will find him.”

“I know.” She kept looking at the people walking on the sidewalk. “I’m just wondering where he is.”

“Perhaps he’s looking for us.”

“Maybe.” Suddenly, a thought crossed Emma’s mind. “The docks! Why am I thinking of it only now?”

“What?”

“The docks. We need to go there. If I knew Killian was looking for me, I’d go to a place where he could easily find me. That’d be by the waterside. On the docks.”

“Awesome! Are there docks in New York?”

Emma made a face as she realized it wouldn’t be so easy. “Plenty. There’s water everywhere.”

“Not that awesome,” commented Henry before flashing Emma a hopeful smile. “But we’ll find him.”

“Maybe on the docks the closest to the coffee shop, because he must stay somewhere close by if he goes to Starbucks every morning. How about we go on a night walk by the river after you finish your pizza?”

Henry nodded and that was what they did: Emma led him to the East River and they followed the bikeway northward. It was night-time and most of the New Yorkers seemed to be avoiding the chill of the November evening by staying inside. Emma silently stared at every single man on their way, each time hoping it would be Killian. She was starting to lose hope when she saw a man whose outline looked familiar, and her heart beat harder as her hopes suddenly went up. The man was keeping his hands in his pockets, making Emma unable to know whether one of them was missing and replaced by a hook. He was walking toward them and she kept gazing at him, not daring to say a word. He seemed to be staring at her as well. Perhaps was he waiting to be sure it was her before saying anything, just like she was. His dark hair and the way the wind was playing with it made her heart beat even faster. She was sticking to Henry’s pace, trying not to rush toward the man. She still couldn’t see his face. But at last, he came into light and his face was revealed, and she felt the disappointment of her hope being crushed.

“I’ve noticed the way you were looking at me,” the man accosted her, stopping at her level.

“Sorry, I’ve been mistaken,” Emma apologized. The more she was looking at the man, the more she was wondering how she could have mistaken him for Killian. “I thought you were someone else.”

“But I can be anyone you want me to be, baby.” He came closer; too close to Emma’s liking. “We could spend the night together.”

Emma was unable to hide the disgust the man’s words inspired her. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, not anymore because of the hope of finding Killian, but because of the adrenaline rushing through her veins as she felt like she was facing danger. Many possible answers crossed her mind, but she chose to remain calm and polite.

“No thanks, not interested. Good night.” Softly, she reached for her son’s hand. “Henry, come.”

“My night would be better if you were with me,” the man insisted.

“Not interested,” Emma repeated, already walking away. “Let’s go, Henry, before we run into some other weirdos.”

“Why did he want to spend the night with you?” Henry asked innocently.

“Uh… Let’s not talk about this now. We need to go back to the apartment.”

Henry complied and didn’t ask any more questions. Giving up on the idea to find Killian on the docks at that time, she decided to leave the riverside and take the shortest path to their place. The streets were more crowded and, though she knew it was unlikely to just bump into Killian, she couldn’t stop herself from glancing around. But once again, her hopes seemed to be vain, and they arrived at the apartment without having found him.

Their plan for the next day being to go to Starbucks as early as possible, they didn’t wait long before going to bed. Staring at the ceiling of this unfamiliar bedroom, Emma once again struggled to fall asleep as too many thoughts were crossing her mind. Would Killian go back to Starbucks? How would she find him if he didn’t? Where would she go? Was there a chance they’d be back in the Enchanted Forest on the next evening? She got up to check the magic bean was still in its place before going back to bed.

Emma woke up and checked the time on her phone: she had only a few minutes left before her alarm would go off. She turned it off, got up and went to see her son.

“Henry,” she whispered after softly sitting on his bed and kissing his cheek.

The boy opened his eyes and looked up at her. “Is it time to go?”

“Yes.”

“Let’s go!”

Henry was the kind of child who could be wide awake and full of energy very quickly: instantly sitting up, he kissed his mother’s cheek and Emma barely had time to get up before he got out of bed.

Half an hour later, they were in the car, watching the Starbucks. They had been there to order a hot chocolate and a bagel for Henry, and just a coffee for Emma. Once again the man had been rather unpleasant, recognizing them at once as the ones looking for Captain Hook, and threatening to call the security if they didn’t leave his shop.

“Is that what you were doing as a job? Waiting in the car like this?” Henry asked, looking around when he was not focusing on his bagel.

“Yes.” Holding her coffee cup with both hands to keep them warm, Emma was not taking her eyes off the Starbucks.

“Have you found many people?”

“I’d say about fifty,” she said, glancing at him with a smile before focusing again on the coffee shop.

“That’s a lot!” Unwilling to disturb his mother, Henry then stayed quiet and patiently waited.

They had been waiting in the car for more than one hour when, at a quarter past eight, Emma suddenly broke the silence.

“That’s him!”

Henry started with surprise and quickly looked at the coffee shop but it was obviously too late as the door was already closing. “Are you sure that was Killian?”

“Yes, I…” But she doubted again. Several times, her hope to find him had misled her, and she had mistaken other men for him before realizing they were not Killian. “Maybe we should wait until he comes out.”

Staring at the coffee shop, her breathing shallow and her heart racing, seconds felt like minutes. But at last, the man she had noticed came out and her heart skipped a beat.

“Killian!”

She rushed out of the car and Henry hurried to follow her. Killian was on the other side of the street; they just had to cross it, but the traffic lights were green for the cars. Emma would have weaved in and out if she had been on her own, but with Henry, she couldn’t take the risk; it was too dangerous, she had to wait.

“Killian!” Emma tried to call him, but over the noise created by the traffic, he didn’t hear them.

“Killian!” Henry tried as well, in vain.

“Come on…”

Impatiently waiting, Emma kept glancing at the lights and watching Killian, who had turned around the corner, carrying a Starbucks bag. He was wearing leather, but had traded his coat for a jacket. He was also wearing gloves, hiding the fact that he was single-handed. Not taking her eyes off him, she saw him turn left and enter a building.

“He’s living just there…”

When the cars stopped, Emma grabbed Henry’s hand and they ran across the street.

“Sorry,” she apologized as she jostled a man on the sidewalk.

They found themselves in front of a closed door, at the foot of the building Killian had entered.

“How do we get in?” Henry asked when trying to open the door and realizing it was locked.

“This.” Emma was studying the intercom. His name wasn’t on the list. “His apartment must be the one without a name.”

She called and waited, her heart pounding.

“What’s that supposed to do?” Henry asked.

“To call him, so he can unlock the door.”

“What if he doesn’t answer?”

“Then, we call someone else and hope they’ll unlock the door.”

Losing patience, Emma called the man living on the floor below. Quickly, an unfamiliar male’s voice answered.

“Who’s there?”

“Hi, I’m… Mrs. Jones. I’m coming to see your neighbor up above, but the intercom seems broken. Could you…”

Emma didn’t need to finish her sentence as the man unlocked the door and hung up.

“Mrs. Jones?” Henry raised, amused.

“I…” She felt her cheeks warm up. “I needed to give a name, that’s the first that came to my mind. Anyway, let’s go. Fifth floor.”

Henry called the elevator but, unwilling to wait any longer, Emma chose to use the stairs.

“Mum, are you sure…”

“Come! We don’t have time to wait.”

Running up the stairs, they were panting when they reached the fifth floor.

“This one,” Emma said, pointing the door with the right number.

Catching her breath, her stomach suddenly felt knotted as she imagined Killian standing on the other side of the door. She held up her fist but hesitated.

“Go on,” encouraged Henry. “Do it.”

Emma glanced at her son, checked the number of the apartment, and took a deep breath before knocking on the door. Wondering whether she had knocked hard enough, she hesitated to knock again. But she didn’t need to: the door was unlocked and, a second later, there he was, standing right in front of her.

“Killian!”

She had spent hours elaborating a plan, thinking of what she needed to do or say when she would find him. But now that he was there, now that she had found him after twenty-two days spent looking for him, she forgot everything about her plan and threw herself into his arms. Hugging him tightly, one of her hands wandered around his back, his arm, his shoulder, and ended in the back of his head with her fingers closing on his hair. She kept her face in his neck and took deep breaths, her eyes closing as his scent filled the air she was inhaling. Feeling him against her and breathing his scent were enough to overwhelm her; to overwhelm her and make some other details go momentarily unnoticed. But after a moment, she realized; she realized that he was holding her hips but wasn’t hugging her like she was, that he had not said a word, and that he had not done anything indicating he remembered her.

“Excuse-me but… do I know you?”

Emma pulled away to look him in the eye. She recognized this look: it was the exact same look as the one he had given her on the first time she had bumped into him; on the first time they had met.

“You don’t remember me.” The plan she had elaborated came back to her mind and she knew what she had to do. “You will remember me. There’s just something I need to do, and you will. I just need to…” It wasn’t as easy as she had imagined, and his look of confusion and the intensity of his gaze were making it even more difficult. At last, she managed to tear her gaze away and lock her eyes on his lips instead. “Trust me.”

Placing her hands on his neck, she tiptoed and pressed her lips against his own. His lips parted and she kissed them. The taste of his lips she had missed so much made a soft moan escape her and one of her hands slipped to the nape of his neck while she kept kissing him. She didn’t know how long she needed to kiss him for the magic of the true love’s kiss to work. All she knew was that she was not getting any response from him and, no matter how hard she tried, nothing changed; he was not kissing her back. Once again, she pulled away to look him in the eye while he took his fingers to his lips. The way he was touching his lips while intensely gazing at her made her wonder for a moment whether the kiss had triggered any memories, but it quickly became obvious that he didn’t remember anything.

Emma’s breath became shallow. Each of her heartbeats seemed to resound in her head. She didn’t know what to do. The possibility the true love’s kiss wouldn’t work had never been part of her plan. It should have worked. She was tempted to try again, but she didn’t dare.

“Why didn’t it work?” She whispered, glancing back at her son who was still on the doorstep.

Henry entered the apartment. “Killian? You still don’t remember?”

Noticing the boy, Killian took his fingers away from his lips and his hand went to rest on Emma’s hip, while she was still clutching the collar of his jacket. “Remember what? Who are you?”

Killian was addressing both of them, but Emma was too much in shock to think of anything to say. Henry was the one to answer.

“I’m her son… and kind of yours. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted as a father, and you consider me like your son.” The boy noticed how confused and worried Killian seemed to be, and he quickly tried to reassure him. “Don’t worry, that’s alright if you don’t remember yet. Do you remember your brother, Liam?”

His reaction was unexpected: frowning and stepping back, putting some distance between him and Emma, he suddenly looked upset. “Is Liam the one sending you here?”

“Killian…” Emma didn’t understand his reaction, and the distance he had put between them was hurtful. “Liam didn’t send us. We came for you. I love you. And you love me. We need to go home, together.”

“I don’t understand. This place is my home.”

The words were painful to hear, and the fact the true love’s kiss had not been enough for him to recover his memories was leaving her helpless. But she didn’t have time to give any more explanation as a female voice interrupted them.

“Killian, who’s there?”

A woman appeared, her damp hair indicating she was coming from the bathroom. Emma had not expected to find any woman in this apartment, and even less _this_ woman.

“Milah?” She asked, bewildered.

“You two know each other?” Killian asked, still not understanding what was happening.

“No.” Milah was staring at Emma and Henry, looking as startled as anyone else in the room. “How do you even know my name?”

Emma was unable to stop staring at her, not understanding how she could be there as well; she didn’t even know she was still alive. But the Dark One’s wife definitely seemed to be alive. Emma watched her go to stand by Killian’s side and lace her fingers with his own. That was when she noticed it and suddenly felt sick: Milah was wearing an engagement ring.

“Are you alright?” Killian asked Emma.

“No. I…” Her eyes traveling from the ring to Killian and Milah, she was trying to find a plausible explanation and could find none. She was feeling dizzy and feared her legs would give way any second; she had to leave. “I need to go. Sorry.”

Looking down and catching a last glimpse of the engagement ring, Emma turned around and walked away. It was too much for her. Nothing had gone like she had expected. She had suspected Regina to play with Killian’s memories, but she had trusted the true love’s kiss to work. She had expected Killian to remember her, and them to go back to the Enchanted Forest together. But his loss of memories wasn’t even the worst. The worst part was Milah. Her presence was still making no sense to Emma; months earlier, when Rumplestiltskin had betrayed her and tried to steal her magic to free himself from the power of the dagger, he had appeared in possession of another ingredient his spell required: Killian had seen him holding Milah’s heart in his hands, ready to sacrifice her. They had not heard of her or Rumplestiltskin since then, but they had assumed Milah was dead. Discovering they had been wrong had come as a shock to Emma, but it was the engagement ring which had broken the little resistance she had left. Emma kept reliving the scene in her mind, and kept hearing Killian’s words over and over again; these words which showed he believed in the lie he was living. Her Killian did not remember her and was considering himself as a New Yorker engaged to a woman he didn’t love. Or did he? What had happened between the two of them during these three weeks when she had been looking for him? What would happen next? Too many thoughts were jostling inside her mind.

Because of the shock of finding Killian in such a situation, Emma was in a daze. She realized they were back at their apartment but she barely remembered walking back there. She was lying on the couch, and had obviously been lying there for a while as it was already the start of the afternoon.

“Henry?” She sat up. Sitting at the table, the boy looked up from his book. “What are you reading?”

“A book about magic. I brought it with us because that’s my favorite one. I’m trying to find something about true love’s kisses. Maybe it’ll help to know why it didn’t work.”

Emma made a face as his words confirmed it hadn’t all been just a nightmare. “What happened? After we left, what happened?”

“We came back here, and you told me you needed some rest. You’ve been on that couch since then.”

“Did you find anything in your book?” inquired Emma.

“Not yet. But I keep looking.”

Emma went to sit at the table, opposite Henry, and lost track of time while browsing the internet for information about amnesia. Skimming medical webpages, she was trying to find anything which might help Killian recover his memories. But she didn’t find any hint about what to do to make him remember her. She actually wasn’t sure she understood what she was reading; the words sometimes appeared as nothing more but insignificant symbols that she was absent-mindedly staring at. Sentences made no sense and she had to focus and reread them again. There were also times when, without even realizing, she just stopped reading and got lost in her thoughts. She was not talking and Henry, who knew it was better to give her the time she needed, kept silently reading his book.

After about two hours, Emma was the one breaking the silence by thinking out loud. “How can she be here? I thought she was dead. Rumplestiltskin had her heart in his hand, he was ready to sacrifice her.”

“Maybe he didn’t, maybe she’s cursed too. I’ve been thinking about it,” said Henry. “Regina and Rumplestiltskin don’t get on well. Maybe she saved her and took her away from him.”

“As if he would care. He was ready to sacrifice her.”

“Maybe she didn’t do it to hurt _him_.”

Until then blankly staring at the screen, Emma looked up; her son was right. “She sent her to be with Killian and hurt me even more, erasing their memories to make them believe this place was their home, and that they were engaged.”

Henry seemed surprised. “Engaged?”

“Didn’t you see it? Milah was wearing an engagement ring.”

“How do you know it’s not just a ring?”

“Because on this finger… It was an engagement ring. They’re together. Engaged.”

Emma looked down, pretending to focus on her screen again, and bit her lip, fighting back against the tears; this was the worst scenario she could have ever imagined. Henry noticed and stood up. He skirted the table and, going to stand by her side, hugged her.

“He will come back to us and we’ll go back home together.”

Wrapping an arm around him, she kept staring at the screen. “He didn’t seem willing to follow us.”

“But he will. We’ll find a way, we always do. I’m sure he’s already in love with you. He must be thinking of you right now.”

“Probably; how could he not be thinking of that stranger who came to his place and kissed him?”

“Mum…”

Henry wished he could help more, but he couldn’t find anything else to say so he simply hugged her. Emma managed to repress her tears and, while keeping her son in her arms, thought of what they could do next. At last, she closed her laptop.

“Since we obviously need to stay here a bit longer than expected, we should go to the supermarket.”

She wasn’t hungry at all but gathered her son would soon be. Thankfully, there was a supermarket right across the street. The place looked like nothing Henry had ever seen, but he stopped himself from commenting and questioning everything that was around. Emma didn’t say anything and did the shopping rather absent-mindedly.

The rest of the day went by the same way: she kept losing track of time by getting lost in her thoughts, but even her thoughts seemed not to make any sense as they were only confused fragments. At last, it was a reasonable time to sleep and, more exhausted than she had realized, she quickly fell asleep.

Emma tossed and turned all night, troubled by nightmares reflecting the events of the past day. They caused her to confuse dream and reality, and she woke up at first thinking that it had all been a bad dream. But then she recognized the bedroom, and it all came back to her: Killian looking at her like on the first time they met, Killian not remembering her, Killian thinking New York was his home, Killian holding Milah’s hand; a hand ornamented with an engagement ring. Thinking of all of this suddenly made her feel nauseous and she had to get up in a hurry to run to the bathroom. Unable to hold herself back, she vomited. She then sat on the floor next to the toilet and, wrapping her arms around her legs, pressed her forehead against her knees.

“Mum?”

Emma looked up. “Don’t come in!”

Henry did as he was asked and stayed behind the closed door. “I’ve heard you. Are you okay? Why are you sick?”

Despite the situation, his innocent kindness made her smile. “Don’t worry, I’m fine. It’s just that when someone is too stressed or worried, it can make them sick.”

“You’re worried about Killian?” Henry asked from behind the door. “That’s why you’re sick? Because of everything that happened yesterday?”

“Yes, that’s why. You don’t have to worry.”

But suddenly, another reason to be sick came to her mind and her heart started to race at the idea. She thought of the past month, trying to remember, and a lump formed in her throat as she realized.

“No…” Her voice was just a whisper. Looking down, she slipped her hands under her top and covered her lower abdomen.

 


	5. Broken Heart

Emma stood up and lifted her shirt to examine the reflection of her stomach in the mirror. It looked flat, but she was quick to hypothesize it was probably too early for a bump to be visible already. Her breath catching in her throat and hardly swallowing, she leant back against the wall, keeping her hands on her abdomen. How was she supposed to handle this? She couldn’t. It was not possible. Actually, maybe she was wrong; maybe she was not pregnant. Closing her eyes, she thought of the past month, and bit her lip: she undeniably had a delay. But she refused to believe she was pregnant. Maybe it was like she had told Henry; maybe all the stress from the past day had caused the sickness. And maybe the worry she had faced during the past weeks had been strong enough to disrupt her hormones.

Emma was in denial, convincing herself plenty of reasons could explain her current situation. This was the only way she could go through all of this. Too much was already happening. She couldn’t be pregnant.

Henry was waiting right outside the bathroom.

“Are you okay?” he asked when she came out with a vacant look.

“Yes.”

This was a lie, and he knew it, but she looked distant and he preferred not to insist.

“Mum?” He called her after they had finished eating breakfast. He went on once he had her attention. “I think I know why the true love's kiss didn't work.”

Emma opened wide eyes while the reminder of this event seemed to tie her stomach into a knot. She didn't say anything and looked at her son inquiringly. Henry went to fetch his book and opened it on the table in front of her.

“Here,” he said, his forefinger following one of the lines while he read, “A curse is not a curse anymore when the afflicted wants it.”

“Killian didn't want that!” Emma instantly refuted. “Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that.”

“Don't worry, that's alright. I just thought it could explain why it didn't work; not because he wanted it, but because he forgot what he wanted, and now all he thinks he knows is that he's with Milah.” The reminder was painful. Confused by what he meant, Emma let him go on. “Killian is a good man, and he thinks he's engaged to Milah. I don't think he has feelings for her, but he's surely trying to convince himself that he has. He _wants_ to believe.”

“And he wants to believe so hard that his will surpassed the power of the true love's kiss,” Emma completed, at last seeing what her son meant.

“Yes!” Henry confirmed, flashing her a bright smile as if finding an explanation was solving the whole problem.

“But everything he believes is a lie. He's _living_ a lie.”

“But he doesn’t know that.”

Emma wanted to believe her son, because finding a solution was usually easier when the problem was identified. But even then, she was clueless; what was she supposed to do?

Henry was the one to break the silence. “If we explained him the situation, maybe he would want to know the truth, and you could try the true love’s kiss again?”

“Maybe.”

“We’ll find a way,” he reassured. “He’s in love with you already, I’m sure about that. I was there, I saw the way he looked at you.”

Emma hid her face in her hands. “What did she do to him?”

Henry gazed at her in silence, feeling sorry for not being more helpful.

“Everything he believes is wrong. He doesn’t remember me, or you. But he remembers he has a brother,” Emma summarized. “A brother he obviously dislikes. I wonder what he thinks happened between them. She totally disrupted his memories. And there’s Milah, coming out of nowhere.”

Henry was at a loss for words, willing to help but feeling helpless. He was seeing his mother in need of some comfort that he seemed unable to provide her.

“What if she’s Regina?”

“What?” Henry asked, taken aback by this sudden question.

“Milah. What if she’s not Milah? What if she’s actually Regina?”

Henry frowned, considering her question. “I don’t think that’s possible. I mean, it is possible, but I don’t think she would do that. This is a land without magic. She loves her powers too much to come here.”

“You didn’t notice anything strange in the way she was looking at you?”

The boy frowned again, struggling to follow the conversation. “Why?”

“You’re the one she wants. Regina would pay more attention to you than Milah would. You didn’t notice anything?”

“No,” the boy answered. “Mum, why would she leave her world and all her magic, when she can send someone do the dirty job instead? I know her enough to know that’s how she works. She always finds people to get things done.”

“You’re surely right.” Emma was staring blankly at the window. Too many thoughts were streaming through her mind for her to keep track.

“Actually, we could check,” Henry suggested. “If Regina is controlling Milah, that means she has Milah’s heart. Killian could surely tell whether there’s a heart beating in her chest.”

Emma made a face and repressed the unpleasant mental picture.

“Sorry,” Henry apologized. “I didn't mean to say anything wrong.”

“That's fine. And that was a good idea but that wouldn't work. Because if there's a heart beating inside her chest, it wouldn't mean for sure that's Regina; it could also be Milah, not controlled, but simply cursed like Killian is. And even if there's not a heart beating inside her chest, who knows it's not Regina still? Is there any evidence this monster actually has a heart?” Her words were heavy with sarcasm, but her expression changed as a feeling of guilt overtook her. “You shouldn't be the one to be sorry. I am. I'm being unfair to you. I know you're just trying to help.”

“Mum, that’s fine. I just wish I could help you more.”

“No one can.”

Her voice was barely loud enough for Henry to hear her last sentence. Feeling powerless was making her blunt and distant, but releasing her frustration on her son was the last thing she meant to do. It sounded like she was angry at him, but she wasn’t; he hadn’t done anything wrong. Of course, no matter how hurtful it was to imagine the man she loved with another woman, she wasn’t angry at Killian either; he had not wanted any of this, he was not the one to blame. The simple thought of Milah was making her sick, but she also wasn’t to blame. Even Regina was hardly the one Emma was holding responsible; Regina had caused all this mess and she hated her for this but, at this moment, Emma felt like the problem was herself. She was blaming herself for everything that had happened. At the royal ball, she had failed at protecting her loved ones; she had listened to Killian and let him face the Evil Queen on his own, whereas her magic could have been powerful enough to stop him from falling through that portal. And now that she was in New York and had found him, she was clueless about what to do to get him back. She was defenseless and felt like she was no match for the Evil Queen; this was why she was the problem. Another thought crossed her mind and she pressed clenched fists against her abdomen: maybe the problem wasn’t herself, but what was possibly happening inside her. She had tried to deny it, but she obviously couldn’t do so any longer. She needed to be sure.

“I need to go to the shop,” she suddenly announced.

“Again? We went yesterday.”

“There are things I… forgot to buy.”

Still hoping she was wrong about the fact she was pregnant, Emma didn’t want to tell him more about it. She needed to buy a test to get a confirmation first. Picturing herself at the store, she made a face as she realized he would probably ask her why she was buying a pregnancy test. The thought of going there on her own crossed her mind, but she didn’t like the idea of leaving him at the apartment alone; not when he had no way to contact her if he needed to.

Gazing at her, Henry looked confused.

“We need to get you a phone,” Emma declared, and her son’s confusion only seemed to grow. “It can always be useful. In case we need to get in touch.”

“Oh, you mean the thing you use to call, like Ariel’s seashell?” he asked. “Like the one you have?”

“Yes.” His lack of knowledge of the modern world forced a smile out of her. “It doesn’t have to be exactly the same as mine, but it’ll serve the same purpose.”

* * *

 

A salesperson came to them as soon as they entered the electronics department. Emma told him she was looking for a phone for Henry and, a moment later, the man was praising the features of the most recent smartphone.

“I thought it was only used to call,” the boy addressed his mother with a bright smile. “You hadn’t told me it could do all these things!”

Emma caught the salesperson’s eye. Surely it was unusual for a child to know so little about modern technology. Not finding any explanation which would sound plausible, she didn’t raise it, and rushed Henry instead.

Once he had his phone – not the most recent model but still one with more functionalities than he would ever use – the advantage was that he was too busy reading the instruction book to pay any attention to what Emma was buying. Heading to the drugstore of the hypermarket, she hoped no clerk would come and ask her if she needed help. Thankfully, there was no one there, and she quickly found what she was looking for. She felt like she had a lump in the throat when she reached for the pregnancy test. Imagining it to give her a positive result and guessing there might be a risk of false positives associated with these tests, she decided to buy two of them. Using the self-checkout machine allowed her to avoid cashiers and, after quickly hiding the tests amid the few other items she had bought, they left the place.

* * *

 

Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, Emma was holding her breath while watching the test. The control line had appeared and no other line was visible yet, and she was hoping it would remain this way. Watching out for the second line she didn’t want to see appear, she was anxiously casting glances at the countdown on her phone. Seconds seemed to linger, whereas all she wanted was to reach the time limit as soon as possible; this moment when, hopefully, she would be able to conclude she was not pregnant.

“No…”

The thin pink line she dreaded to see appear became visible within the time limit. She took a closer look, but it only confirmed she was not imagining it: the test line was definitely there.

“No…” she repeated, as if it would help her deny the fact that she was seemingly pregnant.

When the test line appeared on the second test, she buried her face in her hands. She was pregnant. She felt sick as memories of the time when she was in jail came back to her. Despite the years which had gone by, she was feeling as unable to go through this as the first time. What was supposedly happening within her was feeling as intrusive as it had felt years before.

She didn’t know how long she had been sitting there, with her face in her hands. All she knew was that she had not wanted this. She did not want this, and it occurred to her that, unlike the first time, she actually had a choice: she could interrupt it. Sitting up straight, she considered the idea. She would be able to pretend that none of it had happened. She was wondering about the procedure to follow and about where to find the help she needed when it struck her: she thought of Killian and a sudden wave of guilt washed over her for considering such an option. She imagined getting him back and telling him that he could have been a father, but that this wouldn’t happen because she had interrupted her pregnancy.

Until this moment too shaken to even cry, picturing a heartbroken Killian made her burst into tears. He would never understand. Even if she explained him all she knew about pregnancy and abortion, he would not understand why, while carrying their child, she had decided to stop everything. To him, it would undoubtedly sound like she had killed their baby. Even more tears flowed down her cheeks as the picture of a devastated Killian lingered on her mind. Horrified, she took her hands to her lower abdomen and looked down. For Killian at least, she needed to keep the baby.

A little voice in her mind asked her what would happen if she didn’t manage to get Killian back, and tears kept silently rolling down her cheeks as she came to the conclusion that, in that case, the baby would be the only thing she would have left of him.

She broke down once again: her decision wasn’t giving her any solution about how to go through pregnancy on her own, or about how to take care of a baby, and she was scared, not feeling like she was able to do any of this.

“Mum, why are you still in the bathroom? Are you okay?”

 _Henry._ She had to tell him something.

“Coming.”

This was the only word she was able to articulate, but at least he knew she was still there and hadn’t passed out.

She had told him she was coming, but she was feeling so drained that she wasn’t sure she even had the energy to get back on her feet. The thought of her son put a smile back on her face. She was feeling extremely lucky to have him in her life, especially in such difficult times, because he was always the one bringing a touch of optimism even when the situation looked hopeless. She had always wondered how he was doing it; was it due to childhood innocence? She hoped it wasn’t, because she didn’t want him to lose this ability to always look on the bright side when growing up. Wishing she would be like him, she looked down at her stomach and tried to imagine what he would say when she would tell him; undoubtedly nothing negative. A few more tears rolled down her cheeks and she was feeling so overwhelmed that she didn’t even know which emotion had triggered them.

“I will take care of you,” she whispered while caressing her abdomen.

Drying her tears, she got up and got out of the bathroom.

“Mum, you’re crying,” Henry noticed and hugged her. Like earlier on that day, he had been waiting right outside the bathroom.

“I’m not anymore,” she whispered while wrapping her arms around him. “Henry, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Softly pulling away from the hug, Henry inquiringly looked up.

Needing some support, Emma leant back against the door frame before saying, “But you have to promise me you won’t tell anyone. Especially not Killian.”

The boy lightly frowned, curious about what she was about to tell him. “I promise.”

Emma gazed at her son for a moment, thinking of the best way to word it. She forced a smile and told him, “You’re going to be a big brother.”

“What?” His face lit up. “Me? A big brother? Does that mean you’re pregnant?”

“Yes.” She bit her lip and a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Why are you crying?” Henry hugged her, noticeably more carefully. “Killian will be delighted.”

“What about you?” Emma asked out of curiosity.

“I am too! And you should be as well.”

“I’m just not sure I can do it all on my own.”

“You’re not on your own,” reassured Henry. “I’m here. So is Killian.”

“Killian isn’t really here at the moment. And remember: we can’t tell him anything.”

“He soon will be. We’ll get him back. And why can’t we tell him? Maybe that’d help him remember.”

“He doesn’t even remember me, I can’t tell him I’m pregnant and he’s the baby’s father. Especially not when he thinks he’s engaged to someone else.”

Henry remained silent for a moment, thinking about the whole situation. When he looked up at Emma, his eyes were filled with innocence and curiosity. “How did you get pregnant?”

“It happened before Regina sent him here,” Emma answered, thinking he was wondering about how it had happened whereas she hadn’t been with Killian for almost a month. But this didn’t seem to answer his question. “Oh please, don’t ask me to explain you how to make babies.”

“No, I know how to…” He trailed off midsentence and crunched his nose. “Eww. You and Killian did that?”

Something sounding like half a laugh, half a sob, escaped Emma and she pulled her son into a hug; a laugh because it amused her to see how, no matter how mature he could be, he still happened to sometimes react like a child of his age, and a sob because it just reminded her how much she missed Killian.

“One day, you will understand.”

* * *

 

Mother and son had figured out a plan. The first part consisted in knowing more about Killian and Milah. The second part had yet to be defined, depending on the outcome of the first one. All they knew was that Killian and Milah didn’t seem to remember anything from the Enchanted Forest and were convinced that New York was their home. Also, they thought they were engaged, and Killian remembered his brother but obviously not in a positive way. All of this was raising many questions. Were they in love with each other? What was their life like? What had Regina done with their memories? Were they both cursed, or was Milah controlled by Regina or worse, was she Regina herself?

Emma and Henry decided that, before doing anything else, they needed to know more about their life and for that, they would only stalk them. When Henry asked his mother whether following Killian without his knowing was not a weird thing to do, Emma admitted she didn’t really like this plan, but she wasn’t feeling ready to confront him yet anyway; what would she even tell him if she did? That was why, on the next morning, they went to watch the coffee shop. Emma’s heart skipped a beat when she saw the man she loved going there at a quarter past eight, like two days earlier. She had to fight against her instincts and remind herself of their plan to resist the temptation to cross the road and join him. Waiting outside his apartment block, they followed him when he came out of it, but they lost sight of him when he entered the subway station. Henry suggested to go and see Milah instead, but Emma refused, having even less to say to her than to Killian, and fearing they would make her suspicious.

On the next day, Killian went to the coffee shop at a quarter past eight again and, a bit later, went back to the subway station. This time having MetroCards in their possession, Emma and Henry were able to follow him and hopped on a train of the green line. It was crowded enough to allow them to go unnoticed even if only a few feet were separating them from Killian.

“I wonder where he’s going,” Emma thought out loud.

“A place called Southward, I think.”

This got a smile out of her. “Southward is not a place, it’s just the direction. But there are many stops.”

“So you don’t know where we’re going?”

“No,” Emma answered distractedly, watching Killian.

“It’s weird to know the town is above us,” Henry commented. “How did they do that? How didn’t the buildings fall down when they dug under it?”

Emma considered the question for a second. “I don’t know.”

Guessing it was not the best time to ask questions, the boy spent the rest of the journey looking around and trying to find answers by himself in silence.

“He’s getting off!” She grabbed her son’s hand and pulled him out of the train.

“Bowling Green,” Henry read the name of the station. “Do you know where we are?”

“Must be somewhere in the south of Manhattan.”

They made their way through the crowd and rushed out of the station. It was when the lights for pedestrians went red before they had time to cross the road that they lost sight of him.

“Did he turn left or right?” Henry asked.

“I don’t know, I couldn’t see. So many people…”

“He mustn’t be far.”

They were facing a park and decided to turn left, but soon realized they had probably made the wrong choice. They walked around the park but there was no sign of Killian. When they found themselves on the quay and a two-master vaguely reminding her of the Jolly Roger – even if that one was far from being as majestic as the ship she loved – left the shore, it dawned on her.

“Of course. Regina must have done more than just modifying their memories; she created them a whole new life.” It looked so obvious that she wondered why she hadn’t thought of it earlier. “Killian must be working on one of those. I don’t know how she did it, but she must have given him a job.”

“Awesome! Then we just need to watch all the ships.”

Henry sounded genuinely optimistic, but this happened to be more complicated than he had thought. At the end of the day, they had not caught even a glimpse of him.

They had more luck on the next day. Following him to the same park, they saw him boarding a ship which was not the two-master Emma had seen, but a ferry taking tourists to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island.

One more day of investigation confirmed Killian had not boarded the ship for some sightseeing and was indeed working there.

Unlike during the rest of the week, they saw Killian again on the evening. Seeing him walking hand in hand with Milah created a lump in Emma’s throat. It was Friday night, and they were going out like an ordinary couple.

“Mum, are you sure you want to follow them?”

“I need to know if he loves her. Maybe you’re right. Maybe he doesn’t love her and is only trying to convince himself that he does.”

Walking on the opposite sidewalk, they followed them. When Milah pulled him to a stop and closed the distance between herself and Killian, Emma felt like something inside her was breaking. The pain she felt made her lean against the road sign next to her and tighten her hold on her son’s hand.

“Mum, we should go.”

“No.” Every second spent watching them kiss was hurting her, but she was somehow unable to take her eyes off them.

“It won’t bring you any good…”

“I need to know,” she interrupted her son. “She was the one to initiate the kiss. Maybe he didn’t want it.”

All she wanted at this moment was to know if he loved Milah; if he was only pretending, maybe there was still hope.

Milah and Killian went to an Italian restaurant, and Emma and Henry remained outside, hidden in the shadows and watching them through the window. Killian was turning his back on them. They were talking and Emma could see Milah’s smile; he was making her happy. This was enough to break through the defensive walls Emma had worked on building during the past week and to bring tears to her eyes. Since the day when she had learnt about her pregnancy, she had not cried. She had decided to take a page out of Henry’s book and to try and be optimistic even when the situation looked hopeless. She was doing it for her son; she didn’t want to burden him with her doubts and fears. She wanted to look strong. She needed him more than she would ever admit, but she was the one supposed to take care of him, not the other way around. This was why she had buried her negative thoughts and had tried to convince herself that everything would be alright. This was also why they had followed only Killian and had let Milah go about her business; Emma had felt like seeing her would ruin all her efforts to keep believing she would find a way to get Killian back. She had been right: seeing Milah with the man she loved had broken her defensive walls down. Watching them, she was not even aware of the tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Mum, you’re torturing yourself. We should go. Come home with me.”

“Alright,” Emma nodded. “But tomorrow I’ll go to Starbucks, and it won’t be to watch Killian and follow him. I need to talk to him.”

* * *

 

Ten past eight. Emma’s eyes kept shifting between her phone indicating the time and the entrance door of the coffee shop.

“Relax, mum,” Henry said between two bites. “He’s never showed up before a quarter past eight.”

They were sitting at a table in a corner of the coffee shop. The boy had had his heart set on a hot chocolate and a bagel, while Emma had settled for just a coffee. She was too preoccupied to be able to eat anything.

“A quarter past eight,” she announced five minutes later. “He should be here.”

“He will come.”

“Remember…”

“I know,” Henry interrupted. “I stay here at the table while you talk to him.” Tempted to go to the coffee shop alone, Emma had hesitated before they had agreed to go together. “And if… Mum!”

She instantly turned to the door and there he was, entering the coffee shop. Walking straight to the counter, he didn’t see them. Something caught her attention; something she had not noticed before because, all week, she had left some distance between them when she had been following him, and had mostly seen his back. But at this moment, she was close enough, and his vacant look was what struck her the most.

“Mum! Go,” Henry whispered while patting her arm.

She nodded and got on her feet. Feeling a knot in her stomach, she stopped a few steps behind him and took a deep breath.

“Killian?”

He instantly stood up straight at the sound of her voice calling his name, and turned around to face her.

“Emma!”

His face lit up and her heart threatened to burst out of her chest.

“Killian!”

His bright smile and the sparkle in his eyes made him look like the man she knew; the man who loved her. Her features reflecting his own, she took a step toward him. Did he remember her, or was he simply happy to see again this unknown woman who had knocked on his door? She didn’t know, and she didn’t care. She was just glad to see this bright smile on his lips. But he turned back to pick his order and, when he faced her again, it was gone.

“What are you doing here?” he bluntly asked.

“I…” Unsettled by this sudden shift of mood, she searched his eyes. The sparkle that had been there seconds earlier was gone as well. “I need to talk to you. Maybe we could spend some time together.”

“Emma, I can’t. I have Milah, we’re getting married. I can’t just invite you home and see what’s on Netflix.”

The lump in her throat threatened to choke her and she found herself fighting against tears. “This isn’t you. The real you isn’t supposed to know what Netflix is.”

“I have to go. I’m sorry.”

At least, he sounded like he genuinely was; or maybe that was what she wanted to believe, because she didn’t want to think the man she loved was hurting her without any qualms. He walked past her, heading to the way out.

“I can explain everything,” she tried to stop him. “You’ve been cursed. Maybe by the very woman you’re living with. But I need to…”

“Milah wouldn’t do any wrong,” Killian interrupted, stopping and turning around to face her again.

“Is there a heart beating inside her chest?”

The question which had been gnawing at her slipped out of her mouth before she had time to think it through, and she instantly regretted it when she saw him frown.

“What even is this question? Of course there is!”

The anger she could see in his eyes rendered her speechless.

“I really need to go.”

He turned his back on her and, once again, she tried to stop him. “Wait! Can I ask you one more question?”

He stopped but, this time, didn’t turn around.

“You just did,” he said while turning his head to the right and looking down, allowing her to see his profile. “But you can ask another one,” he added with a smile which didn’t reach his eyes nor matched the gloomy tone of his voice.

He didn’t move and was staring at the floor while waiting for her question. Emma gulped before blurting out, “Do you love her?”

Killian glanced back at her before averting his eyes. She could only see the back of his head as he was facing the way out when he answered, “Yes.”

Without any other word, he took the few steps which were separating him from the door and left the coffee shop. Emma stood there, trying to process what had just happened and failing so far. She was thinking of all these contradictory emotions she had seen succeeding one another, and she didn’t understand. All she knew was that she had lost him again. Her vision became blurry as tears filled her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Soon, she found herself wrapped in her son’s arms, but she didn’t even have the strength to hug him back.

“What did she do to him?” she asked, still staring at the door.


	6. Affair of the Heart

Emma had always lost everyone, and it looked like she was losing Killian too. Lying on the couch, mental images of her last encounter with him at the coffee shop were haunting her. She was reliving the moment all over again. It had happened almost three hours earlier, and she was still unable to understand why he had expressed so many different emotions in such a short span of time; why his look had been so vacant when he had entered the place, why every hint of the happiness which had brightened his features when he had seen her had suddenly disappeared, why he had seemed to be so mad at her, or why he had averted his eyes before affirming he loved Milah. Emma actually had plausible answers to each of her questions, but was struggling to put all these theories together. She liked to think that the fact Killian loved Milah was a lie, and that this was why he had looked away when saying it. But she wasn’t sure about it; maybe that was just what she wanted to believe, and just because she believed something didn’t make it true. This was actually the only satisfying answer she had found. The fact he was mad at her was making her feel sick, but it was obvious that he was. His angry look was haunting her and she hated that it had been directed to her, but she could understand: she had undoubtedly sounded like she was trying to get him back by turning him against the one he was engaged to, and that was lame. But what was scaring her the most was this sudden change from this bright smile and those sparkling eyes – which had even made her wonder if he remembered her – to this blank expression. At first, this element of their encounter was only the most confusing. But then, it became the scariest when she considered the possibility that, maybe, it wasn’t about Milah she had to worry: maybe Killian was the one without a heart beating inside his chest. His heart had already been ripped out once, and it had been the occasion for them to notice that it was not stopping him from being in love with her; without his heart, he would still be able to express happiness when seeing her, and he had done just that, in the meantime indicating that, deep down, he liked her. This thought would have filled her with joy and hope if the memory of his sudden change of expression wasn’t gnawing at her. She could imagine the Evil Queen with his heart in her hand, controlling him from her castle or wherever she was, and forcing any expression to fade away. This theory could also explain his vacant look, or the perfect routine which he seemed to be following every day; Killian wasn’t the routine-type of man. He wasn’t being himself. There was something off, and Emma was horrified by the idea that, maybe, he was nothing more than Regina’s puppet.

“Mum, that’s not possible,” Henry said when she shared her theory with him. “You protected his heart with a spell, remember? Like you did with mine. Regina can’t have ripped it out of his chest.”

“There’s no proof the spell worked,” Emma retorted, thinking of adding this to the list of her failures.

“I think his heart is still beating inside his chest,” the boy maintained.

“Maybe you’re right.”

But if he was right, it meant that he had been the one wiping out all hint of happiness from his features; that, no matter how he was feeling towards her, he was trying to deny it and to believe he was in love with Milah. Emma wondered if this was not even worse than the idea of his heart being under Regina’s control, because it would mean this was his own will.

“He loves her. Or at least, he wants to believe he does,” Emma thought out loud. “When I first met him in the Enchanted Forest and was trying to find a way back to Boston, he was ready to let me go for the exact reason he loved me. I love him. Doesn’t it mean I should let him go if that’s what he wants?”

“No. Don’t do this. It’s not the same. Because that’s not what he wants. He didn’t choose this situation. He has been cursed. You need to fight to get him back!”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Giving up is letting Regina win.”

“Maybe I just need to admit she did. Killian wants to believe he loves her, and Milah seems to be genuinely in love with him. You saw her last night. Which means one of us will lose him and suffer.”

“And it won’t be you!” Henry raised his voice and Emma lifted her eyebrows in surprise. “You can’t give up on him! He needs you just as much as you need him!” The boy paused and added more calmly, “Everything he thinks he knows is wrong. I’m sure he’s already in love with you but he doesn’t admit it because of good form, because he thinks he’s engaged to Milah. He needs time, but his love for you will be too strong eventually. He won’t be able to deny it anymore.”

“How can you always be so optimistic?” Emma asked admiringly.

“Operation True Love. I wrote your story, remember?” He reminded her with a bright smile. “You and Killian went through a lot, but every time you ended up finding each other, because that’s true love, and good always wins.”

Emma went to hug him. That was when she remembered how, a few days earlier, she had decided not to burden him. Even if he was amazing at reassuring and comforting her, it was not his role. She needed to put herself together; to be more like her son, who was optimistic and also joyful at the idea of discovering the realm in which she grew up.

“Since Killian needs time,” Emma said, resolving to be stronger. For her son. “How about we go out and I show you more of this realm?”

The kid’s face lit up. “Yes!”

* * *

 

This was how they spent the next few days: hanging around town. Emma took her son to some of the most famous spots in the city, for his greatest delight. Most of the places they visited amazed Henry. Central Park and the Museum of Natural History were his favorite places, even if he was also very fond of the view the top of the Empire State Building offered.

Besides being tourists, Emma also took him to the movies when he reminded her that he had never watched one, and the experience exceeded his expectations. He enjoyed it so much that she bought him a few DVDs they could watch at night.

“Mum, can we go in there, too?” Henry asked when they walked past a bookstore.

“Sure we can! Come.” Emma opened the door and let him get inside first.

“Wow, cool!” Henry looked around before turning to his mother. “Do you think they have the books you talked about? Those about the gillyweed.”

“You want to read Harry Potter?”

“Yes!”

“They’re right here,” the bookshop owner flashed them a smile as she indicated one of the shelves.

“Well, that will keep you busy for a while!” Emma said when they got out with the entire collection.

To Henry, all of this was one of the greatest adventures. To Emma, besides being an occasion to bond with her son, it was mostly a distraction keeping her from checking the time and guessing what Killian was doing, or wondering whether he was thinking about her. It was not really working, but she was doing her best to pretend it was.

But pretending was not enough. It was rather warm for a day of the end of November and they were sitting on a bench in Brooklyn Bridge Park. Henry had already devoured the two first volumes of the Harry Potter series during the previous days, and was currently reading the third one. Emma’s reading was completely different: having in mind that it was her duty to take care of the baby and that, for once, she didn’t want to feel like she had failed, she had bought a few books about pregnancy to try and gather as much information as she could. She was reading about sonograms when she looked up at the river and got lost in her thoughts. Four days later, she would be heading to her first ultrasound; even for Henry, she had never got one. A few days earlier, she had gathered her courage to call and schedule an appointment, convincing herself that it was the wise thing to do for the baby. She had secretly been hoping that a miracle would occur and that Killian would be by her side, but days were going by and it seemed more and more likely that she would go without him.

“Mum…”

She didn’t react and kept blankly staring at the river. Streams of tears were staining her cheeks. She was doing her best to pretend she was fine, but Henry was not fooled; she was not as fine as she pretended to be. He could feel she was lonely, especially during these moments when her sadness was getting the upper hand and, despite trying his best to help her, he was feeling like he was not enough. His mother was not okay, and he was feeling more and more helpless about it. He needed help to make her feel better, she needed someone else’s support. He knew the only one able to fix all of this was Killian himself, but he was unavailable at this moment. The one Henry had in mind wasn’t him, but someone close; someone who might be able to comfort his mother, or even to give any ideas about what to do to get Killian back. Reaching for his bag, the boy brought out of it the object he had been thinking of using for several days. Emma had not approved, but Henry didn’t know what else to do.

“Mum…”

Once again, he tried to get her attention, deciding that he wouldn’t do it if she reacted. But she didn’t seem to even hear him. Henry looked down at the seashell he was holding in his hands. It was time to use it. Emma had clearly told him not to when he had suggested the idea but, to him, there was nothing wrong in asking for some help. Taking the seashell to his lips, he blew into it. The feeling of guilt was instant. He quickly hid the seashell behind him and hugged his mother.

Emma’s musings were interrupted when she felt her son’s arms around her. She quickly wiped her tears away when she realized she had been crying. _Again._ At first, she thought that was the reason why Henry was hugging her but then, she noticed there seemed to be something else.

“Henry? Are you okay?”

“That depends.” He looked up and, seeing how worried she looked, he blurted out, “Would you be mad at me if I told you I’ve just done something you didn’t want me to?”

“Henry, what did you do?”

The boy reached for the seashell and showed it to her, looking down when he said, “I’ve called them.”

“Henry!”

“I’m sorry!” He felt his face warming up and a lump in his throat making it more difficult to breathe. “I don’t know how to help you anymore. Maybe they will.”

And if they could help her, being scolded was worth it. But her voice was much softer than he had expected when she asked, “What do you think they could do that you can’t?”

“We need them. I’m not enough.”

“Henry…” She made sure he was looking her in the eye before adding, “I don’t want to hear you say that you’re not enough. Ever again.”

She pulled him into a hug. She had been trying not to burden him but was obviously failing, and she felt guilty for that.

“You’re helping me much more than you can imagine. I wouldn’t be able to go through all of this without you.”

Henry softly pulled away and looked up. “So you’re not mad at me?”

“I can’t be mad at you… even if I don’t approve what you did…” She realized Liam and Ariel might turn up any time and she wondered what would happen. “What am I even going to tell them?”

The boy shrugged. “The truth.”

He was right. She caught a glimpse of the book closed on her lap and quickly handed it to Henry. “Hide this in your bag. And remember, not a word about the fact I’m pregnant. I don’t want anyone to know about it before Killian does.”

Henry just had time to nod before a man’s voice caught their attention. “Emma?”

“Liam! Ariel! You came!” The boy got up and ran to them, hugging the damp-haired newcomers one after the other.

Emma followed and, despite the whole situation, a genuine smile tugged at her lips. “Ariel, Liam, it’s really good to see you here.”

Henry looked up at his mother, delighted to see that she seemed to mean it and that calling them was ultimately not such a bad thing to do. And Emma did mean it: she had lived in this realm for twenty-eight years but it had only felt strange since her return, and the presence of familiar faces was making it more bearable.

“So… Why did you summon us?” Liam asked, concerned.

“We thought you’d like to be kept up to date.”

“Aye, that we do.”

Emma realized she had never noticed how much some of Liam’s intonations were alike his brother’s, and it made her stare at him.

“Emma, are you alright?”

“Yes,” Emma lied.

“And Killian?”

“He...” Emma flattened her lips, fighting against the tears which were suddenly threatening to come up. “He doesn't remember me and thinks he's engaged to Milah.”

“Milah? The Dark One's wife?” asked Ariel.

“I thought she was-”

“Dead?” Emma interrupted Liam. “She's not. She's here too.”

Their looks of confusion were not making it easier for her to fight against the tears, but she kept resisting. Her son came to hug her.

“Killian is trying to convince himself that he loves Milah, that's why the true love's kiss didn't work,” Henry explained. “But he's in love with mum already. He just doesn't want to admit it yet.”

“We don't know that,” said Emma. “These are just theories.”

“And they're right,” added Henry.

“Did you talk to him?” Ariel asked.

“Yes... It didn't go well.”

“He’s refusing to admit the truth,” Henry completed his mother's words once again.

“Do you want me to try and talk to him? I'm his brother, maybe he...”

“No!” Emma interrupted. “He does remember you, but Regina did something to his memories and he seems to hate you.”

“What about me? Maybe I can help,” Ariel offered.

“I... I don't think you can. He surely doesn't remember you either.”

The truth was that Emma was feeling like fixing this was her duty. Luckily for her, Liam refused as well, even if it was for completely different reasons.

“My love?” He addressed the mermaid, his intonation once again painfully reminding Emma of Killian. “I don’t want you to get involved in this, that’s too dangerous. Go back underwater, that’s where you’ll be safe.”

“What about you?” she asked, surprise tinting her words.

“He’s my brother. I need to do something.”

“The fact he’s your brother should be my reason to stay as well.”

“Please. I don’t want you to be the next target of the Evil Queen.”

Still hugging her son, Emma watched them gazing at each other, trying to convince the other one. At last, Ariel sighed.

“Okay, I’ll go back underwater. But that’s only because I love you. You call me whenever you want to come back to our realm.”

Ariel came to Emma and Henry stepped back, giving the two women some space.

“Be strong, Emma,” she said while hugging her friend. “He will come back to you, I know it. You and Killian are made for each other. Just the way you make eyes is enough to say it's true love. No one can break that, not even the Evil Queen.”

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“That’s nothing but the truth,” Ariel said with a bright smile.

“Liam, are you sure you want to stay?” Emma asked when Ariel was ready to leave.

“Killian would want me to take care of you and keep you safe,” he replied, knowing that mentioning what his brother would want would be more powerful to convince her than mentioning his own will. “And he seems to also be needing some help. I’m staying.”

Ariel left and Liam followed Henry and his mother to the apartment. He reassured Emma about her parents: he had been with them aboard the Jolly Roger, and they were safely heading back to their castle. He told her that, when receiving the call from the seashell, they had felt confident about their abilities to sail the ship without him. Emma questioned it but he confirmed they could handle it.

By the time they had told him about everything that had happened during the two weeks they had spent in New York – everything except her pregnancy – it was night and Henry, eager to show him more of this realm, suggested to watch a movie.

Emma was barely aware of what was playing on the television. Her son pulled her out of her thoughts when the movie was over and he announced he was going to bed. She took a deep breath, trying to chase away the thoughts about going through her pregnancy without Killian.

“Don't lose faith, Emma. Henry is right, Killian will come back to you,” said Liam.

Emma nodded silently, knowing that saying anything would trigger the tears.

“Come here.”

Despite his words, Emma didn't move and Liam was the one to close the distance between them, pulling her against him and wrapping her in his arms.

“Killian and I are the same on some points. Our hearts break when we see tears in a woman’s eyes,” he justified his gesture, though Emma didn't think he needed to. She was more focused on another feature he shared with his brother: she could easily ignore the slight differences and imagine she was in Killian's soothing arms.

“It’s more difficult than I thought,” she admitted. “I’m trying to be strong. Mostly for Henry, because he believes in me and I don’t want to disappoint him. But he still knows. I made him feel like he was not enough and he thought you could help more. That's why he called you. He doesn't realize how much he's doing for me. I couldn’t do it without him.”

She was opening up, taking advantage of having an adult friend to pour her heart out. She leant her head against him and a sigh of relief escaped her. Liam was not his brother and she didn’t remember having ever been so close to him, but she was glad to have him by her side.

“It’s nice to have you here,” she let him know, nestling against him. “These past weeks have felt so unfamiliar. I have lived in this realm for twenty-eight years, but it’s like I don’t recognize it anymore. I’ve always felt like an outcast, but I didn’t know what it felt like to belong somewhere. Now that I do, everything here feels messed up and overwhelming, and that makes the Enchanted Forest unreal. As if my life there was just a dream.” Emma paused and wondered why she was saying all of this and what had led her there. Pondering the progression of her thoughts, it came back to her. “Oh, yes. I was saying it’s nice to have you here, because seeing you and Ariel today made everything about the Enchanted Forest more… real? As if you were a proof that it was not all just a dream or something. I don’t know if that makes any sense,” she added, looking up at him. “Or maybe I’m just weird.”

“Probably.”

His answer was so unexpected that her eyebrows arched up and a smile tugged at her lips. “Are you saying I’m weird?”

“No. I was just trying to make you smile. And it worked.”

Her smile brightened and was reflected on Liam’s features.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Emma, please, you don’t have to thank me for this. Being able to make you smile even in dark times is an honor,” said Liam. “And about what you said, I actually don’t think you’re weird. It’s not surprising this realm feels unfamiliar. I’d even say it all makes sense. You may have spent twenty-eight years here and only a year in the Enchanted Forest, but these are just numbers. Everything that happened to you during this past year; Killian, Henry, your parents… Love changed your life. I can’t even imagine what mine would be without Ariel, but going back to the life I had before would undoubtedly feel odd. And that’s without having to change realms.”

“I just hope it’ll be easy to go back to the life we used to have. That we can forget everything about New York and pretend it never happened.”

“I’m afraid Killian won’t let that happen. With some time, life will return to normal, but at first… I know my brother. He’ll blame himself for what you’re going through right now.”

“But it’s not his fault!”

“I know, but he’ll still blame himself; my dear brother can be a stubborn arse. He will blame himself and guilt will be quite a burden for him.”

“Sounds like something he would do,” Emma admitted with a sigh. Wondering what time it was, she checked her phone. “Wow, it’s late already! Will you be alright to go back?”

“Aye, I will. But are you sure you don’t want me to spend the night here?”

“You need to go back to my parents, to bring them back home.”

“Ariel is with them,” he reminded her.

“She doesn’t know how to sail a ship more than they do. They need you.”

Liam nodded but stayed there a bit longer. Holding onto his comforting arms, Emma's thoughts went back to Killian.

“What am I supposed to do?” she asked, breaking the silence which had settled between them.

“You should go and see him tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Emma looked up at him. “He's not ready for that... _I_ am not ready for that. Not after what happened last time. I have to give him more time.”

“And just how much time do you plan on giving him? Emma, don't you think you've waited long enough? I understand it'd be easier if he was the one to come back to you, but even if he wanted to, how is he supposed to find you?”

Liam wasn't waiting for any answer and Emma knew it: he was right.

“Tomorrow, go and see him. Perhaps not at the coffee shop, because he'll have to go back to Milah and won't have time for you.”

“I can go to his workplace, in the afternoon, to see him at the end of his shift.”

“Aye, that sounds good. And I can come back to stay here with Henry, so that you can spend some time alone with my brother.”

Emma was thankful for his offer but also worried. “Are you sure it’s okay for you to go from one realm to another like this?”

“With Killian, we used to say we’d follow each other to the ends of the earth. It’s about time for me to do just that. I will come back tomorrow and stay with Henry, and you’ll go and see my brother.”

That was what happened. Liam left at night and came back on the next day. Henry was delighted to get another occasion to show him more of this realm. In the afternoon, Emma headed to Battery Park, the place from where ships were departing for the Statue of Liberty. She had observed Killian’s routine enough to know perfectly where to find him: there was this place called Castle Clinton, which didn’t look like a castle – especially for someone coming from the Enchanted Forest. That was where the company Killian was working for was settled and Emma knew that, at some point, he would come out of it and head to the subway station. Standing where she was, she couldn’t miss him.

Her heart skipped a beat when he appeared. She didn’t need to say anything.

“Emma! What are you doing here?”

A bright smile lit up his face just like it had when she had met him at the coffee shop, and she hoped it wouldn’t disappear as suddenly.

“I need to talk to you.”

His smile faded but it was not to give way to the expression Emma was dreading to see: he only looked surprised. “How did you know where to find me?”

“I…” She had not expected this question. Her hesitation made him smile and it gave her the courage to go on. “I guess you can call me a stalker: I followed you.”

“You followed me?” he asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

“Sorry.” She examined his features, relieved to see that, more than anything else, he looked amused.

“Actually, I’m glad you did. Flattered, even. I was looking for you, but I had no idea about where to find you.”

“You were looking for me,” Emma repeated, resisting the temptation to believe everything would go well this time; any second, everything could collapse.

“Aye, that I was. I wanted to apologize for this moment at Starbucks. I realized only too late that it may have looked like I was angry at you, but I wasn’t.”

“You weren’t?” Afraid to be blinded by love and to see only what she wanted to see, she didn’t know what to think or what to believe.

“Of course I wasn’t. Why would I be? You’ve done nothing wrong. I was angry, but not at you. I was angry at myself.”

“Why?” To her, he hadn’t done anything wrong either.

“Because of this joy I’ve felt when I heard you call my name. I’m not supposed to feel like this, not when I’m engaged to someone else. And there’s also this feeling like I don’t understand everything and I’m missing out on something great.” Killian shook his head. “That’s too complicated to explain. You said you needed to talk to me?”

Still processing his words, Emma stopped musing when she heard his question. “Yes.”

She looked around. They were still standing in front of the castle, and it looked like that was the most crowded place of the park.

“Can we take a walk?” she asked.

“Sure.” He nodded and, when she turned on her heel, added, “If I may, I’d choose to go on the other side. If we go this way, we’ll soon reach the end of the park. On the other side, we can follow the path alongside the river.”

Emma didn’t need to be told twice: she turned to head towards the path he was indicating, wondering if he was willing to spend as much time in her company as she in his.

“Tell me more,” Killian said, walking by her side.

“About what?”

“About anything. Everything,” he said, and her confusion made him smile. “You burst into my life by knocking on my door and kissing me. That was before you said things like you love me and I love you and we need to go home, or like I’ve been cursed. And there’s also your boy who considers me kind of his father. How could all of this be possible? Emma, I didn’t want to find you only to apologize. There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t think of you, not a single moment when I don’t ask myself all these questions about you. About us. I want to understand.”

Looking at the path in front of them, Emma was trying to keep her breath steady. All this time, the man she loved had been thinking about her, and he wanted to know more. “Well, I don’t know where to start. Even I don’t understand everything. That’s why I needed to talk to you.”

“I must admit my question was rather vague. Let me be more specific. One of your questions made me think lengthily, but I am still unable to find any explanation: you asked me if Milah had a heart beating inside her chest. How is that possible? I mean, you sounded serious when you asked this question.”

“To explain you this, I need to explain you everything. It might take a while, and it’d be a lot to take in.” Emma was afraid that he was not ready to hear the truth; afraid that talking to him about magic and fairytales would make her sound like she was crazy, and make him run away. “Would it be enough for now if I told you that, somehow, it is possible to live without a heart?”

“And you’re afraid it’s the case for Milah?”

Her eyes lingered on his chest; since their meeting at the coffee shop, it was not Milah she had worried about. This fear he might be devoid of his own heart had been haunting her and she needed to make sure it was not the case.

Killian noticed and came to a stop. “And you’re also wondering if mine is beating inside my chest.”

Saying nothing, Emma bit her lip.

“Let me get you rid of this doubt.”

His hand found hers and he softly pressed it over his chest, letting her feel his heart beating against her palm. Her eyes closed for a moment while she focused on the reassuring heartbeat and the soft touch of his hand over hers. When she looked up, he was gazing at her with a smile reminding her of the Killian she knew.

“See? My heart’s where it’s supposed to be.”

She had got enough time to make sure his heart was in its right place, but Killian still kept her hand pressed over it. Gazing at each other, Emma lost herself in the blue oceans that were his eyes. He wanted to understand and she didn’t know how to explain; maybe kissing him would fix everything; maybe this time, it would work. But she was afraid the slightest misstep would make him run away. He had to be the one initiating the kiss. She was also considering the option of calling Henry and using the magic bean to bring him back to the Enchanted Forest, but that would not solve his memory problem and, above all, she couldn’t do that because it had to be his choice.

She was so deeply lost in his eyes that she didn’t realize her hand was not over his heart anymore but in his own.

“I hope you realize I still have many questions to ask you,” he announced while starting to walk again.

But Emma remained silent. She had her head in the clouds. None of this felt real. Killian had never been so much alike the man she knew in the Enchanted Forest, but they were having a walk in New York and he didn’t remember her. She was feeling awkward for not knowing what to tell him, and for not being able to close this distance between them and remind him with a kiss or a hug how much she loved him, like they used to do. But he was holding her hand.

Inquiringly looking at her, Killian followed her gaze and, when seeing their hands, softly let go of hers.

“My apologies,” he said. “It just felt… natural.”

“Please… Don’t apologize for this. Take it, it’s yours if you want it.” She held out her hand to him, but he put his inside his pocket.

“I can’t,” he said, sounding sorry, with his gaze shifting between her eyes and her hand.

“That’s okay.” Actually, it hurt, but the fact that taking her hand had felt natural to him was making up for it.

“So when will I know more about this story? I know many of my memories are missing, but I didn’t realize the extent of the loss until you knocked on my door. Tell me more about us. I sense that we… we may have been close?”

His use of the past tense felt like a stab but she tried to ignore it. “Very.”

“But then… How did I end up engaged to someone else if I had you?” he asked and Emma’s breath caught in her throat. “You said you could explain everything.”

“I can, and I will,” she replied breathlessly.

“At Starbucks, you said I had been cursed,” Killian went on, eager to know more. “What did you mean?”

“I meant that the truth isn’t what you think it is. Your memories…”

She trailed off and he rekindled the conversation. “You also said you could help me remember.”

“When you want to remember… When you’re _ready_ to remember… You will.”

She glanced at his lips, thinking again of kissing them, but refrained from doing so. She wished she could tell him everything about the Enchanted Forest and about them, but she put herself in his place and knew that, if someone came to tell her what she had to tell him, she would think they’re nothing but crazy. Her hand went to rest on her lower abdomen when she thought of their baby, wishing she could announce him that he was a father-to-be. But she didn’t feel like he was ready to hear any of this.

“Before I say anything else,” she said, “I’d like to know more about you. Your memories… How do you think you lost them?”

His eyebrows went up in surprise and he answered as if it was obvious, “The accident.”

“The accident?”

“You seem to know so much about me… I thought you knew. That’s how I lost everything. I’ve been in a coma and woke up without any memories. And without my hand.”

“When did that happen?”

“I woke up about a month ago.”

“You were in a coma a month ago,” Emma repeated.

She had been counting the number of mornings when she had awoken without Killian by her side, and she knew he had fallen through the portal five weeks earlier. This meant that, a month earlier, she had been on the Jolly Roger with Henry and her parents. It all made sense: the Evil Queen had surely magically put him into a coma when sending him to this world, and left him unconscious for a few days.

“That even explains why the mirror didn’t work,” Emma thought out loud.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Emma said, musing on how the mirror had remained black on the two first times when she had tried to use it to know more about Killian’s whereabouts; being unconscious had undoubtedly broken the connection and it had worked, showing him at Starbucks, only after he had come out of his coma. “What happened? The accident, I mean.”

“I don’t remember any of it, but Milah told me I’ve been in a car accident. I don’t know more about it, I haven’t been given many details.”

“Of course,” Emma thought out loud once again; playing with his memories and blaming it on a car accident had probably been convenient for the Evil Queen. “Wait, Milah wasn’t in a coma?”

“No. She was at home when the accident happened.”

This piece of information got Emma lost in her thoughts. Her stomach tied into a knot when she considered again the option that Milah could be Regina in disguise. But maybe the Evil Queen had kept Killian unconscious while she was modifying Milah’s memories and sending her to this realm, and had awoken him only when she had been ready.

“How does she react to all of this?” Emma asked. “Milah; how has she been?”

“I would lie if I said she has not been affected. I can’t even imagine how difficult it must have been for her. She was at my bedside when I woke up, but I didn’t even know who she was. It took me weeks to get used to this life I had forgotten almost everything about. I was feeling so lost. Milah has helped me to establish a daily routine and follow it. I was starting to find my bearings when you came into my life and turned it upside down.”

“I’m sorry,” Emma apologized instantly, suddenly feeling guilty.

“Don’t be.” Killian flashed her a reassuring smile. “My life felt wrong. Perhaps all you did was to make it right again. But to finish answering your previous question: I am not the only one who’s been affected. Milah has been rather sorrowful lately. I guess I’ve been more absent-minded than usual and she can feel it.”

Emma bit her lip. “I didn’t mean to cause her any pain.”

“Don’t you dare apologize again,” Killian interrupted with a crooked smile which quickly faded away. “If anyone is to blame, it’s me.”

Unwilling to see him riddled with guilt, she redirected the conversation. “What is Milah’s routine? Does she have a job too?”

She and Henry had always followed Killian and had consequently no idea about her usual whereabouts.

“Not currently. She’s looking for work,” he answered distractedly, looking around before focusing his attention back on her. “Emma, would you fancy a drink?”

“Are you offering me a drink?” she asked, smiling unintendedly.

“Aye. I wish I could offer you more than that, but I’m afraid I can’t.”

Emma glanced around. She had barely been paying attention to the surroundings, but it looked like the esplanade had led them to a square bordering a little harbor.

“I’d love a drink,” she announced.

A few minutes later, they were back on the esplanade, still heading north, each holding a cup of hot chocolate.

“Killian?” She waited to be sure she had his attention. “When we came to your apartment, we mentioned someone and you seemed to really dislike him… What happened with your brother?”

A muscle flexed in his jaw. “There’s not much to say about him. He betrayed me by choosing our father over his brother.”

Feeling like he would not expand on it, she chose to broach a less slippery subject.

“How much did you remember when you woke up?” she asked. Had Regina created him a whole new story, or had she simply erased all of his memories?

“Not much. I remembered who I was, and some stuff about my past, like my parents and my brother. But even that was rather blurry. These are old memories. I seem to have forgotten everything about the most recent years. I’ve forgotten so much that I even seem to have forgotten how the world works. I didn’t remember how noisy and crowded streets could be. The most confusing was to walk into an apartment and being told that’s home, whereas I felt like I had never been there; to see, in the living room, all these photographs of me and Milah, depicting what looked like happy moments we had spent together, whereas she was like a stranger to me. It was like I needed to learn it all again.” Until then gazing at the esplanade ahead of them, Killian chuckled and turned to her. “Would you believe me if I told you I didn’t even remember how to use the television or the microwave?”

“I would,” she answered, chewing on her lip and wondering whether she should tell him there was a reason why he had felt like that: this was not the world he belonged to. But she just wanted to make sure he was fine. “Are you okay, now?”

“I am. I mean, I’m still struggling with all of these devices, but it’s okay. I feel much better than I did a few weeks ago,” he said while casually taking her hand after throwing his empty cup. “Milah was there for me, but work also helped a lot. Nothing feels more normal than sailing. Close to the water is where I feel the best. It's soothing to be there.”

Wondering whether he was aware he was holding her hand, Emma kept her eyes on the esplanade, unwilling to make him notice because he would surely let go like he had done earlier. The fact he was naturally taking her hand without even noticing showed that her Killian was still there, and it filled her with joy, but at the same time was painful, reminding her of how much she missed this time when all of this was real and when he was hers.

“You know,” he went on, “When I woke up, I had this feeling like there was a part of me that was missing, but now...”

He trailed off and Emma felt his gaze on her. It was so intense that it made her look at him. What she saw in his eyes was a mix of kindness and happiness, and she was about to drown in them when he shrugged and looked at the path ahead of them.

“I'm alright, now.”

Overwhelmed with love for the man walking by her side, she kept gazing at his profile, at his lips stretched into a smile, and at each of his features she missed feeling under her fingers. That was when her resistance was reduced to nothing. Without thinking, she tiptoed to softly press her lips on his cheek. And regretted it instantly when he let go of her hand and froze, closing his eyes. His smile had vanished.

“I'm sorry.”

“What am I doing?” he asked, keeping his eyes shut.

“I didn’t mean to do that,” Emma apologized, feeling like she had ruined everything.

Glancing sideways, he looked her up and down and gazed at the horizon while taking a deep breath. What she didn’t know was that, when her lips had touched his cheek, a mental image of them sharing an intimate moment had settled in his mind. And what he didn’t realize was that this mental image was not the fruit of his imagination due to a sublimation of repressed desires, as he thought, but a memory; the memory of the first time when it had happened.

“I should go. I… This kiss…” Guilt was imprinting his words.

“Please don’t go. I don’t know what has got into me. I won’t do it again.”

“The problem isn’t you.”

“That was just a kiss.”

“It’s what the kiss exposed.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

Tearing his gaze away from the horizon, Killian looked at her in a way that made her feel like he could drill a hole in her head.

“I enjoy being with you much more than I should, and that’s wrong,” he admitted. “I guess we’re dealing with what is called an affair of the heart. I should be with Milah but it feels like, despite my best intentions, my heart is telling me to go to you.” Hearing his own words, he made a face. “That sounds crazy.”

“That doesn’t sound crazy at all.” Her voice was just a whisper. “That’s actually the best thing I’ve heard since I got here.”

“Perhaps saying this wasn’t the right thing to do.”

“Killian…”

“Because, as unfair as it may seem for the two of us, what I want and how I feel don’t matter. Listening to my heart is a luxury I cannot afford.”

“Killian,” she tried to cut him off again, feeling unable to hear more.

“The thing is there doesn’t seem to be a solution. I’m trying to pretend but I’m hurting her by living a lie. And I would hurt her even more by choosing you.”

“Killian, look,” she interrupted him, grabbing his arm to get both his attention and some support to keep standing. “We will find a way. There has to be a solution.”

“What kind of man would that make of me? She doesn’t deserve that. She’s always been so kind. She loves me and wants a future with me. Yesterday, she was even talking about being pregnant.”

His words made her retch and she cut him off, “Is she?”

“It appears not.”

“Have you… been intimate?”

“Uh…”

“Sorry.” She had been unable to refrain from asking and realized only at this moment how inappropriate that was. “You don’t have to answer that.”

“No, that’s fine.” He averted his eyes while answering. “Not since the accident. And before, I can’t remember. I mean… we’re sharing a bed but we… we just sleep. Milah is being rather understanding. I woke up without remembering how or why I was engaged to this woman I didn’t know. I barely knew who I was. In such conditions, it’s difficult to become intimate. I thought it was just a question of time, that if I had fallen in love with her before, I could do it again. But it didn’t happen. It felt like there was something missing between us, and I didn’t know what that was.” Killian gazed at Emma again. “That is until you knocked on my door. One moment was enough to make me realize that this feeling when looking at you was what I was supposed to feel when looking at Milah…” Guilt seemed to overcome him and he looked down. “She will wonder where I am if I don’t go back now.”

“Then, go,” she said, feeling light-headed; he had not said the three words, but it was close enough.

“There’s a station nearby. Do you also need to take the subway?” he asked.

Emma pictured herself and Killian in the train; they would need to get off at different stations, meaning that they would have the time of one stop to part. If they had to say goodbye, she’d rather do it on the quiet esplanade, without anyone jostling them.

“I think I’ll stay here a bit longer,” she said. “But you can go if you need to.”

Visibly torn, he was hesitant. “I still know nothing about you.”

“This can wait until next time.” Actually, she liked the concept: this way, he knew she wanted a ‘next time.’ He wanted answers, and they would need to see each other again for him to get them.

“When will that be?”

She shrugged. “That’s up to you.”

“Do you have one of these talking phones?”

“A phone? Yes, I have one.”

“Would you mind entering your number, so that I can find you more easily next time?” he asked while handing her his phone. “You’re probably better at this than I am.”

“Of course I don’t mind.”

No pattern or PIN code was needed to unlock his phone. She smiled when she noticed his wallpaper seemed to be one of these images of the initial gallery; probably the one which looked the most like the ocean they used to sail back in the Enchanted Forest. Milah was until then his only contact.

Emma entered her name and her phone number before handing the device back to him. “Here.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Killian put his phone away and they awkwardly stood there, gazing at each other, none of them willing to part and both waiting for the other one to take the decision to leave. But all Emma wanted was to close the distance between them and be in his embrace she greatly missed; she was not ready to move. And it seemed like Killian was experiencing a similar feeling: on one second she was staring at him, and on the next one she found herself in his arms. Automatically wrapping hers around him, she tucked her face in the crook of his neck. When she breathed in and air filled her lungs, she felt like she had not breathed properly for weeks. There was no place like in his embrace and, even if they were in New York and he didn’t remember her, it felt like home.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or when I’ll be able to see you again but, in the meantime, don’t forget the problem comes from me; there’s nothing wrong with you,” he said, keeping her in his arms.

“Come back to me,” she whispered so low that she doubted he had heard her.

Both unwilling to pull away, the hug lingered.

When Killian eventually left, Emma went to lean on the railing and gazed at the river. Overwhelmed with emotions, she thought of everything that had happened. She had come aiming at knowing more about him, and she did: despite his memory loss, he was still her Killian; the man she loved and who loved her in return. Henry had been right: the fact he kept pulling away from her was only a matter of good form and moral values. But he was in love with her, and this was all that mattered to Emma: there was still hope. It was not over. He just needed some time, but she would save him. He had never given up on her, just like she would never give up on him.

 


	7. Rendezvous in Central Park

“Emma Swan?”

She stood up and, followed by Henry, joined the woman dressed in a white coat.

“For a first ultrasound, that’s right?”

“Yes,” Emma confirmed, chewing on her lip as she was a bit anxious about what was to come.

“I’m Doctor Lisa Cuddy,” the black-haired woman in her early fifties introduced herself. She shook her hand and addressed Henry. “And I presume you’re her son?”

“Yes! I want to see the baby.”

Since Emma had told him about the ultrasound, Henry had been impatiently waiting for it, delighted at the prospect of seeing his baby brother or sister for the first time. Lisa gave him a gentle smile.

“You can come in, but I’ll ask you to remain seated next to your mother. Is that okay for you?”

“Sure!”

“And the father?” Lisa hesitantly asked Emma when they entered her consulting room.

“He… He couldn’t come today. But he surely would have loved to be here.”

Emma had not heard from Killian since their last encounter in Battery Park.

“The baby will have the best dad ever,” Henry added and his mother flattened her lips.

The obstetrician didn’t dare to ask anything else about Killian. After a talk with Emma, she got her ready for the ultrasound scan.

“How does that work?” Henry asked when, once they had all settled down, the doctor took the transducer.

Lisa smiled warmly and showed him the device. “ _This_ emits things called sound waves. The sound waves bounce off the fetus and that creates the picture you’ll see on the screen.”

“Awesome!” Henry glanced at the screen before devoting his attention to all the medical equipment.

“It’s not dangerous, right?” Emma asked, worried about the sound waves.

“It’s harmless for the baby,” the doctor reassured. “And it’s harmless for you too. The gel might just be chilly.”

Emma took a deep breath and nodded.

“Are you ready?” Lisa asked.

Emma silently nodded again. She was anxious to see what the scan would show, because she had read enough about ultrasounds to know these examinations could reveal serious problems. Even the doctor had reminded her of this possibility.

Soon, Lisa was rubbing the transducer over her abdomen.

“Here is your baby!” she said.

Emma’s eyes were riveted on the screen the doctor was indicating. Trying to understand what he was seeing, Henry frowned.

“I can’t see the baby.”

“Here, look. You can see the head, the arms, and the legs,” Lisa patiently explained, pointing different parts of the screen.

Stirred, Emma was unable to tear her gaze away from the screen. At first, she had been slightly unsure about what the image was depicting, but with Lisa’s indications, she could clearly see her baby – Killian’s baby.

“I’ve read it’s possible to get a picture to bring home,” she said. “Could I get one? For… the father.”

“Of course,” the doctor answered with her usual kindness. “You’ll go back home with a sonogram. We don’t always give one, but I always do in conditions like yours, when the father can’t be here.”

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Henry asked.

“I can’t answer this question. It is too soon to tell. But there’s something I should be able to do.” Lisa played with the equipment and moved the transducer. “Here! Can you hear this sound? It’s the baby’s heartbeat.”

Keeping her eyes on the screen and listening to the rapid beating, Emma brought her hand to her mouth. During the past two weeks, she had got used to the idea she was carrying Killian’s baby, but the sonogram and the beating sound filling the room were making it much more real than a line on a pregnancy test; more than ever, she was aware of the life growing inside her, and tears of happiness rolled down her cheeks.

She turned to her son – the one who was there to share this moment with her – and frowned when she saw him on his phone. “Henry, what are you doing?”

With a bright smile was on his face, he showed her his phone and indicated the sound recorder icon. “For Killian!”

“Oh.” The prospect of being able to share this with Killian adding up to the emotion she was already overwhelmed with, she didn’t say anything else and settled for nodding approvingly.

“Phones are usually not allowed in the room, but I can make an exception,” Lisa said, holding out her hand. “Give it to me, the quality of the sound will be even better if we place it closer.”

They grew quiet and Emma watched her recording the baby’s heartbeat on Henry’s phone. She had not seen many doctors in her life but she could guess she had been lucky, as surely not all doctors were as compassionate as Lisa. Quickly, her thoughts drifted back to the baby and to the regular beating sound.

“The heartbeat is fast and strong,” the doctor announced, giving his phone back to Henry. “Ultrasounds can’t detect everything, of course, but a fast and strong heartbeat is a very good sign: it means your baby is in good health.”

This piece of information made Emma even more emotional. Her baby was fine. She gazed at the image on the screen and felt like she could indefinitely stare at it. Her only wish was that she would soon find a way to get her Killian back; to help him regain his memories so that she could tell him everything. At last, they would be able to get back on track.

“Emma?” Lisa interrupted her musings. “You didn’t know how long you’ve been pregnant, but I’ve just measured your baby; you’re a bit more than ten weeks pregnant. This means your due date is June the thirteenth.”

“June the thirteenth,” Emma repeated.

“Does that mean the baby will be born on June the thirteenth?” Henry asked, making sure he was not misunderstanding.

“That’s an estimation,” Lisa explained. “It’s very likely that the baby will come a bit earlier or later. That’s normal; this happens in most cases.”

At the end of the consultation, the doctor talked with Emma and gave her a file containing all the information obtained from the scan and the sonogram.

“Before you leave, head to the reception desk. The secretary will fix an appointment for your second trimester ultrasound, in about two months.”

“Actually…” Emma hesitated on how to word it. “If things go well, I should not be in New York anymore.”

“Oh well… Wherever you go, you probably won’t have any difficulty in finding another clinic or practice.”

“I wouldn’t bet on that,” she muttered.

“It’s been a pleasure meeting you both.” The doctor held out a hand for her to shake.

“Thank you. For everything,” Emma said; Lisa had managed to turn this experience she had been dreading into a pleasant one.

“I’m just doing my job,” the woman answered with a warm smile. “Take care.”

* * *

 

Emma woke up and took a deep breath. She turned her head to glance at her alarm clock. Half past seven; she had not planned on waking up so early. Breathing fast, she looked at the ceiling and tried to calm down. There was something different from the thirty-nine past mornings when she had awoken without Killian, but she was unable to pinpoint what that was. It was usual for her thoughts to be monopolized by the man she loved, but there was something else; a feeling she couldn’t describe. Too excited to stay in bed any longer and deciding that staring at the ceiling would not help, she got up and went to make some pancakes.

“It smells good!” Henry commented as he came out of his room when the pancakes were almost ready. “Are you cooking pancakes?”

“Yes,” she answered with a bright smile. “I thought it would please you to have some for breakfast.”

“It does!” He lightly tilted his head on the side, examining his mother. “You seem to be in a good mood.”

“I am!”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged and her smile didn’t fade away while she finished cooking. “Pancakes are ready!”

When she went back to her room after breakfast and a shower, she was still clueless about what was different on this morning. She was getting dressed when a sound she had not heard in a long time made her start with surprise. Instantly identifying it as the notification sound of her phone, she rushed to her bedside table and grabbed the device. Her heart skipped a beat when she read the text.

_‘Emma, it’s Killian. I need to see you. Bethesda Fountain in Central Park, this morning at ten. Can you be there?’_

_‘YES!’_ she quickly typed. Taking a deep breath and trying to calm down, she realized the capitals were unnecessary. She erased the word and typed again, _‘Yes!’_

Her thumb hovered over the send button while she stared at the single word, hesitating.

 _‘See you there,’_ she added to clearly confirm her intention to be in Central Park.

She felt a fluttery sensation in her stomach when she sent the text. She glanced at the time indicated at the top of the screen; half past eight. Putting her shirt on, she ran out of her room and found her son reading on the couch.

“Henry! It’s time to pack, Killian wants to see me in an hour and a half in Central Park. Call Liam, I want you to stay with him.” She spoke very fast, making him open wide eyes. “Pack everything you want to bring back home, because I don’t think we’ll come back here.”

The boy looked taken aback. “How do you know?”

“I don’t know. I just… I do. Maybe that’s why I’ve been feeling so good this morning. Maybe he decided he needed to see me, and somehow I’ve felt it, I don’t know.” Buttoning her shirt and thinking out loud, Emma suddenly looked up at her son. “Maybe he even remembers! Call Liam, pack everything.”

Emma was aware she might be wrong, and that Killian wanting to see her didn’t mean they would go back home, but she felt like he wanted more than just checking on her. She had given him some time, and she wanted to believe that enough days had passed and that he was ready. Deep down, she was convinced that she was right, even if she was unable to explain how or why she was feeling this way.

Packing was rather quick, as there was not much from this realm that they wanted to bring back to the Enchanted Forest. Liam joined them and, when Emma briefed him, he looked as startled as Henry had, but he didn’t try to contradict her. When they were ready to leave, Emma checked one more time that the magic bean was inside her pocket. Then, she locked the door and left the key where the owner of the apartment had left it in the first place.

The three of them headed to Central Park and, after a fifteen-minute walk, reached its entrance.

“Remember, Henry…”

“Mum, I know,” the boy reassured her. “I keep the phone within reach and show Liam around the park, and when you text me, we join you at Bethesda Fountain.”

“Are you sure you’ll be able to find your way to the fountain?”

“Mum…” Amused, the boy shook his head. “Don’t worry about us. We came here many times, I know the park well.”

“Liam?” Emma asked inquiringly, looking for some confirmation that she indeed didn’t need to worry.

“Henry’s right, we’ll be just fine.”

“Now, go.”

Her son gently pushed her toward the path she had to follow. Once alone, Emma was tempted to run but she refrained from doing so, because she was early and she wanted to spend the least amount of time possible waiting there for him to come.

Soon, she reached the upper terrace. The place overlooked the lake and the lower terrace in the middle of which was the fountain. Surely because it was a sunny day, the place was already crowded. She was ten minutes early, but maybe Killian was earlier than her; placing her hands on the balustrade in an attempt to control her emotions, she avidly scanned the place. Her heart beat wildly and butterflies seemed to take wing in her stomach when she saw him. He was standing right next to the fountain, turning his back on her and staring down at the water. She didn’t even have time to wonder about how she was supposed to catch his attention: he turned around and a grin split his face. Beaming at him, she rushed to the stone stairs leading to the lower level. Watching her step to make sure she would not stumble on the way down, her breath caught in her throat when she looked up and saw Killian standing at the foot of the stairs. The sight reminded her of the royal ball on the day after her birthday, when she had joined him down the stairs and they had danced all evening. She shook off the idea and, keeping her eyes on him, slowed down as she got closer.

“Hi!” she said enthusiastically once she was at his level, instantly feeling stupid for not finding anything better to say.

“Hi!” he replied with the same enthusiasm before raising an inquiring eyebrow. “I hope I didn’t wake you up? I wanted to wait until nine before sending you the text, but I couldn’t wait any longer.”

“I was up already,” she reassured.

“I’m glad you came. I wanted to see you.”

Until then standing at the foot of the stairs, facing each other with only a short distance separating them, Killian took her hand and she followed him to the fountain.

“What is it about this fountain?” Emma asked out of curiosity. “When I’ve found you just a minute ago, you looked thoughtful while gazing at it.”

“Oh, I was just looking at the coins at the bottom. I don’t understand why they keep throwing their money like this.”

“Some believe it’ll bring them luck.” Emma examined him, thinking of everything she would need to tell him about realms and magic if he asked questions; was he ready to believe?

“Do you?”

“Uh?”

Gazing at him had made her lose track, and a familiar crooked smile which she found adorable made its appearance.

“Do you believe this brings luck?” he clarified the question while indicating the coins at the bottom of the fountain.

“I think I’m more the you-have-to-see-it-to-believe-it kind of person, and I’ve never seen a coin at the bottom of a fountain do anything,” she said, still trying to assess how much he was ready to take in. “But I used not to believe in many things, and the past year showed me that there was far more in this world than I would have ever imagined.”

Killian thoughtfully contemplated her and they gazed at each other in silence.

“To believe,” he said. “This actually brings us to the reason why I needed to see you: I believe I was wrong. The last time I saw you, in Battery Park, something happened, and I didn’t see it for what it was.”

Emma looked at him in utter confusion. Seeing she had no idea what he was talking about, he softly took her hand while thinking of a way to explain it, and took a deep breath before going on.

“When we were in Battery Park, you kissed my cheek. That’s when something happened. I saw something. I saw us… uh, my apologies for being so bold but I saw us, making love. And I thought it was my imagination but, last night, I dreamt of us and it made me realize – I mean, it’s not dreaming of us that made me realize, because I do that quite often – but this morning I realized that my dreams are much blurrier than this vision I had in Battery Park, and I understood why: it’s because what I saw there was not created by my imagination. It was a memory. Because of the kiss. That’s why you kissed me when you first knocked on my door, right? You were trying to make me remember.”

“Yes,” Emma confirmed. With Killian speaking fast and she being busy processing what he was saying, this was all she could say.

“Last time, you said we used to be very close, and you didn’t mention what happened between us; why we are not so close anymore and how I am now engaged to Milah. The reason seems to be too much of a great deal for you to explain, or for me to guess, but whatever that was, none of us wanted it to happen; we never meant to part, right? We’re supposed to be together, aren’t we?”

“Yes.” Once again, she was unable to say more. Her Killian had got a memory back. Because of a simple kiss on the cheek. He was dreaming of her. He knew they belonged together. Each new piece of information was adding up to the previous ones and it was a lot to take in.

“You also said that when I would want to remember, when I would be ready, I would. Well, I am, now. I may not know much about the past, but I do know this: I love you, Emma Swan, no matter who we are or what happened. And I want to remember.”

Hearing his words, Emma could do nothing but look him in the eye, tightening her hold on his hand in search of some support to keep standing. She could feel his eyes searching hers and going down to her mouth and there it was: the moment of anticipation; this moment when she knew their lips would meet. The knowledge of this sent a rush of adrenaline through her veins. Keeping her hand in his, he brushed her cheek and her jaw. He stopped under her chin, making her lightly tilt her head back and, her heart pounding wildly, she leant forward. The first touch of their lips felt unfamiliar, with his lips only passively pressed against hers. But soon, his subconscious seemed to take over – surely what they called muscle memory – and his lips moved more actively.

But it was more than muscle memory. From the moment when their lips met, mental pictures started to flood Killian’s mind, and it all came back in flashes.

_Emma bumping into him on the Jolly Roger, on the day when they first met. A beanstalk. Horseriding. Sailing. Stargazing. Their first kiss._

The happiness associated with these moments made him want more. Placing her hand on his jaw and slipping his in the nape of her neck, he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss.

_The Evil Queen taking Emma away from him. A fight to find her alongside his brother, and the loss of his hand. Rumplestiltskin and Milah._

Frowning at the painful memories, his lips froze against hers, but Emma was eager and new mental pictures appeared.

_The true love’s kiss. Their first time._

The memory was even more intense than when he had caught a glimpse of it in Battery Park. Completely absorbed by the movie playing in his mind, his hand trailed down her neck and her side, and he wrapped both his arms around her to press her against him.

_Henry walking on deck. Emma’s enchanting magic. Evenings of storytelling spent on the Jolly Roger. Nights of love. Smiles and laughs, and pure happiness. A book. A box containing the ring Milah was wearing. Lights in the sky. Her parents. A dance. The Evil Queen. A fall through a portal, followed by total blackness._

Mental pictures of the past faded away, giving place to the present moment. All Killian was aware of was Emma; her lips sending all these feels through his body by moving so passionately against his, her hands gripping the collar of his leather jacket, her hair under his fingers, her body pressed against him. It felt like she didn’t want their lips to pull apart, and he didn’t want it either. They were in a world belonging only to the two of them, and he had a feeling opening his eyes and returning to the real world would be painful.

The kiss went on. It was one for the ages, as if they were trying to make up for all the kisses they had missed during the past weeks. Emma was so overwhelmed with emotions that tears were rolling down her cheeks. Each of his moves, from the way his lips were pressing against hers to the way his embrace felt tight and tender at the same time, made her realize how much she had missed him. She was breathless but also felt like breathing had never been easier. She didn’t want the kiss to ever end. She didn’t want to have to deal with anything which didn’t imply being in his embrace or feeling his lips against hers.

But the kiss had to end and, when it did, they kept close to each other. He cupped her cheek and she covered his hand with hers.

“Emma…”

She opened her eyes and she knew it had worked.

“You remember!”

A sound like a mix of a laugh and a sob escaped her. Bursting with joy, she peppered his cheeks with kisses. But when she wanted to go for his lips, she landed on his cheek again. He had deliberately avoided the kiss.

“Killian…”

“What have I done?”

“Killian, don’t.” But it was too late. All she could see in his eyes was guilt. “Killian, it’s okay.”

She hugged him and he kept her in his arms. From where she was, she couldn’t see his eyes watering at the realization he had hurt the one he loved, or his jaw clenching. He didn’t want her to be aware of the self-loathing thoughts which were crossing his mind.

“I see you’ve made your choice,” said a familiar feminine voice.

Keeping her arms around Killian, Emma pulled away from the hug. Milah was there, and her words made her feel guilty.

“Milah, I’m sorry,” Emma apologized.

“Please spare me this.”

“But I am.”

“Don’t be,” Milah said dismissively. “I could see I was not enough to make him happy. So I told him to go to you if that was what his heart was really telling him.” In front of Emma’s surprise, Milah confirmed, “Yes, I told him that. I mean, what could I do against a love such as yours?”

“Milah, I promise you I really tried,” Killian spoke and Emma didn’t need to look at him to know he was overcome with guilt.

“Oh yes, I know.” Milah took a step closer to Killian. “But you failed and I got bored by my own game. That’s why I told you to go back to her. I despise this town anyway.”

Emma frowned at her last words; wasn’t New York all she remembered? There was something off. Milah looked around before catching Emma’s eyes.

“Where’s Henry?” she asked. “I thought he would be with you.”

“He’s not far, he’s just…”

Emma trailed off and, without taking her eyes off her, tightened her hold on Killian’s hand. Milah had seen Henry only once, and Emma didn’t remember ever mentioning his name in her presence. The malevolent smile which stretched Milah’s lips confirmed she was right to worry.

“That was the sign you were looking for, wasn’t it?” The woman asked. “Trying to see if I was showing any interest in him. Well, I didn’t need to show anything; not when I could watch you both from home. But don’t worry, I haven’t done anything to him, he’s still walking around the park with Liam.”

“Emma, what’s wrong?” Killian asked because she was squeezing his hand.

“My poor Killian, you look confused. Let me enlighten you,” Milah said. She brought her necklace out of her shirt and showed it to him. “See this necklace? It made all of this possible. Look at what it can do.”

What happened next only confirmed what Emma already knew: Milah tightly held her necklace between two fingers and disappeared in a puff of red smoke. When the smoke evaporated, the Evil Queen was standing in front of them. Her little game had caught the attention of people around them and they applauded, thinking all of this was nothing more than a good show, because they were not ready to believe in magic even when it was just in front of them. But Emma and Killian knew too well that all of this was real and, still holding hands, they were like frozen.

“Amazing necklace, isn’t it?” The Evil Queen smirked. “Ironically, I wouldn’t have found it if it wasn’t for the two of you. You took Henry from me and, while searching everywhere, I’ve found this object in the Underwater Kingdom. It allows to import magic to lands devoid of it. Literally bewitching, isn’t it?”

“What did you do to Milah? Where is she?”

“I’m afraid she _isn’t_ anymore.”

“You killed her…”

“I saved her from that beast. But, yes. Later, I did. She was a collateral damage.” She gazed at Killian and another smirk appeared on her face. “What is it that I see here? Would you have grown to care about her? But it was me all along, my dear. Admittedly, under another appearance; but still me.”

“All of this has been a lie,” Killian said through gritted teeth.

“Not all of it was fake.”

“Why did you do this?” Emma interrupted. She had suspected Milah to be Regina in disguise, but she had put her suspicions aside when Killian had talked about her and mentioned how kind she was. Despite her evil smirks, there seemed to be more in her eyes than what she was willing to let appear.

“ _Why_? Do I really need to answer that question? You stole my son, I stole your man. It only seemed fair. But as I said, I got bored by my own game. I want to go home. I prefer ruling a kingdom from a castle than from behind a mirror in a small room.” She turned to Killian again. “I will miss these nights spent in your arms, Captain. But I shall see you again.”

With a move of her hand, the Evil Queen disappeared in another puff of red smoke.

“Henry,” Emma whispered.

She immediately brought her phone out of her pocket to call her son. Each tone was making her more anxious until, at last… “Mum?”

“Henry! Are you safe?”

“Yes, why?” The boy sounded surprised, but she didn’t take the time to explain to him.

“I want you and Liam to come here immediately. Bethesda Fountain.”

“Okay, we’re coming. We’re not far, we’re at Bow Bridge. Did you find Killian? Does he remember?”

“Yes. It’s time to go home.”

“Home, you mean…”

“Yes,” she confirmed, gazing at Killian who was watching her. “Just come.”

“Mum, relax, we’re on our way already.”

“Good. See you in a minute.” Emma hung up. “Killian...”

“Home?” he asked.

“Yes, home. You know…” She trailed off, noticing that they were surrounded by a crowd of curious tourists who had gathered when the Evil Queen had done her little number. She decided that she didn’t care. “The Enchanted Forest. I have a magic bean.”

Lightly shaking his head, Killian averted his eyes.

“Killian, it’s alright.”

“None of this is alright, Emma.”

“Let’s just get home, and everything will be. Killian, look at me.” Cupping his cheeks, she waited for him to look her in the eye before going on. “It’s actually even easier than I thought it would be: we don’t even have to worry about Milah. We can just go home and…”

“Mum! Killian!” Henry made his way through the crowd, curiously glancing at them, and stopped in front of them. “Killian! How are you?”

“I’m good, lad,” he lied with a smile which didn’t reach his eyes.

The boy didn’t seem to notice and hugged him.

“Glad to have you back, brother,” Liam said with a pat on his shoulder.

“Killian?” asked Henry when he pulled away from the hug. “Why don’t you look happy? You remember everything, right?”

“Aye, I do remember. I just have things to deal with.”

“It’s complicated,” Emma added. “For now, let’s go home.” She looked back. The terrace was bordering a lake. “I’ve never used a magic bean, but I guess that’ll do.”

“Emma… There are many people watching,” Liam pointed out.

“They won’t believe what they see,” she reassured. If the crowd had thought the Evil Queen’s puffs of smoke were nothing more than a show, they were likely to think the same of the portal. “And even if they do, we’ll already be far away from here.”

“What if one of them follows us through the portal?”

“Believe me,” she insisted. “I know what it’s like to live in this realm and not to believe. No one will have the idea to come with us.”

Bringing a small pouch out of her pocket, she emptied its content in her hand: a translucent bean.

“Mum! Can I be the one to open the portal?” Henry asked excitedly.

“Sure, kid!” she answered with a smile and handed him the magic bean. “Just don’t toss it too far. I’ll do without having to swim to the other end of the lake.”

The boy chuckled. “Don’t worry.”

The four of them walked to the edge of the terrace and stopped in line, with Henry standing between his mother and Liam, and Emma holding Killian’s hand.

“Now?” Henry asked, looking up at his mother.

“Now,” she confirmed with a nod.

The boy threw the bean into the water and a green whirlpool appeared in front of them.

“Wicked!” Henry exclaimed while taking his mother’s and Liam’s hands.

“Jump!” ordered Emma.

So they did, and the portal closed itself right behind them.


	8. Forgiveness

The portal opened on the other side and the four of them landed rather gracelessly on a thin, cold and white layer.

“It’s snowing!” Henry exclaimed. He was the first one to get back on his feet. He looked up and a bright smile lit up his features as he saw the castle. “We did it! We’re home!”

Liam offered his hand to Emma and helped her stand up. His brother was the last one on the ground.

“I may be wrong, but it feels like something happened. Something wrong,” Liam said, examining Killian’s features, still unaware about everything that had happened on Bethesda Terrace.

“Milah was Regina,” Emma said bluntly.

“What?” Henry asked, turning around to face his mother. “So you were right?”

“Yes.”

“Wait,” Killian spoke, finally getting back on his feet. “You knew?”

“I had suspicions. Suspicions you wiped away when you told me how nice she was.” Seeing this piece of information was not improving his mood, Emma gestured Liam and Henry to go ahead. “Tell my parents we’re back. We’re right behind you.”

“Alright.”

“Killian,” she said once they were alone, both standing in the middle of the path leading up to the castle. “We’re back home, safe and sound. And Milah… well, Milah happens to have never been part of this story, which means we don’t even have to worry about her.”

“Don’t you understand? Milah is not the problem. _I_ am the problem. I’ve been so blind. And because of that, I did the only thing I swore to myself I would never do: I’ve hurt you.”

“Liam said you would blame yourself,” Emma sighed.

“How long did that last? Almost three weeks? Almost three weeks I’ve spent doing nothing but to hurt you. And Henry. While I was sharing the bed of the Evil Queen. And you’re telling me everything is alright?”

“It is, now. And about the Evil Queen… In Battery Park, you told me nothing had happened between the two of you. Unless that changed during the past week…”

“Nothing happened during the past week. But that doesn’t solve the problem, Emma. She set a trap for me, and I plunged in headfirst. I was weak.”

“Killian, that was not just a trap. She wiped away all your memories, you’ve been cursed! How does that make you weak?”

“A true love’s kiss should have been enough to make me remember.”

“Precisely. That proves my point. Do you even know why it didn’t work?” she asked and he looked at her inquiringly. “It didn’t work because the man I love believes in good form and would let nothing make him stray from the straight and narrow,” she explained while placing a hand over his heart. “That has nothing to do with weakness. It’s strength.”

Killian shook his head. “I should have believed in our love.”

“You need to forgive yourself.”

“How? How am I supposed to look at you without thinking of how much harm I’ve done to you?”

She took her hand back from his chest. Hearing that he was thinking of this when he looked at her broke her heart, and tears filled her eyes. “What about our love? What about this whole year we spent together and all these moments of happiness? Why can’t you think of this when you look at me?”

There seemed to be even more pain in his eyes. “I’ve done so much harm to you.”

“It wasn’t you. You didn’t know.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Killian… Please stop. You’re making it even worse.” His eyes were watering and it was making hers tear even more. “We’ve both suffered enough. You just have to forgive yourself. The thing is… no matter how many times I tell you, you have to do it yourself. Forgive yourself, because I forgive you.”

“How can you forgive me so easily?”

“Because there’s not a moment when I blamed you for what happened! This is not your fault! You’ve been cursed. Would you let me blame myself for being in this sleeping curse?”

“Of course not.”

“Then, please don’t blame yourself. You were cursed, none of this was your fault. Let’s just say it was my turn to bring you home.”

His eyes were full of love and pain. “How will I ever make it right?”

“Never let me go again,” she whispered.

She didn’t know whether it was because of her words or because she had just shivered with cold, but Killian pulled her into a hug.

“Let’s go home,” he said in a low voice.

They went to the castle together, but Killian was not done blaming himself. If he managed to conceal his feelings during the reunion with Snow and Charming, they didn’t go unnoticed during lunch. When Snow caught her daughter’s eye, she meaningfully glanced at Killian, who was stirring the content of his plate with his fork without eating it. Emma shrugged and shook her head, unwilling to explain even if she could guess what was going on inside his head. He seemed to be miles away but somehow noticed the silent exchange between the women: he looked up and his eyes full of guilt and sadness shifted from one to the other. He gazed at Emma and silently apologized before addressing the rest of the table.

“I’m sorry, I need to go.”

He got up and headed to the door, but Emma followed him.

“Killian…”

She took his hand to hold him back and he turned around.

“You don’t have to worry, love. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Do you promise?” she whispered.

“I do. I just need some time to think in a familiar place. The castle is not familiar enough yet. I’ll be on the Jolly Roger.”

Her eyes watered in front of his obvious pain. “Forgive yourself.”

“Love… No tears.” He did his best to conceal his negative feelings and let show only his love for her. “Come here.”

Killian tenderly pulled her into a hug and she sighed with relief, holding onto him.

“Tell me we’ll be alright,” she said in a low voice.

“We’ll be alright.”

He kissed her cheek, softly let go of her hand and left the room. It was only when he was out of sight that she went back to the table.

“He just needs some time,” Snow reassured her.

Emma nodded but replied nothing and listened to her son instead. Her parents had been kept informed by Liam on the few times when he had visited her in New York. They didn’t know only about what had happened during the last week and Henry gladly resolved it. He had great pleasure in sharing the tale which Emma was not keen to tell herself, and also in describing all the aspects he had enjoyed the most in this other realm. The boy enlarged on the Harry Potter books he had brought back from there. His audience seemed eager to listen to him but Emma soon found herself distracted by her own thoughts as they drifted back to Killian. Thinking of this moment right before he had left, of how he had tried to hide how bad he was feeling and of his hug and his kiss, she was hoping he would soon come back. They had barely reunited that he had left again. She had so many things to tell him. She looked down and covered her abdomen with her hands; she had to wait for him to feel better before sharing this news with him, but she didn’t know how much longer she would be able to keep it secret.

“Emma?” Snow called, following her daughter at the end of the meal. But Emma didn’t have in mind to talk, and she noticed. “Oh, you want to be alone, right?”

“Just for a moment. If that’s okay.”

“Of course that’s okay!” Snow reassured. “We have plenty of time to talk later.”

Emma nodded and left. She retrieved the envelope from Henry’s bag and went to her bedroom. It was the first time since they had left that she was coming back to this room, and she understood why Killian wasn’t finding it familiar enough: they had spent there only a few hours, in the afternoon. The upcoming night would be the first they would spend at the castle – hopefully. After placing the envelope on the bedside table, she let herself fall back on the bed and, staring at the ceiling, repeated to herself that Killian only needed some time. He had promised he would come back. Meanwhile, she needed to keep herself busy.

Catching hold of the envelope, she opened it and placed a hand on her abdomen while she gazed at the sonogram.

“Soon, he will know,” she whispered with her lips stretched into a smile.

More than anything, she wanted to tell Killian. But she couldn’t at the moment. Looking around, she noticed _Operation True Love_ , the book written by Henry and retracing her and Killian’s story, lying on the other bedside table. It had surely been put there by her parents, as the last time she had seen it was on the Jolly Roger. It reminded her of something else she had asked her father to bring back to the room: Killian’s pirate’s outfit. But it was not inside the closet. The hook was also not on the chest of drawers anymore; Emma guessed that Killian had come to the room before going to the Jolly Roger. Resisting the temptation to go out on the balcony and try to see him aboard the ship, she grabbed the book and tried to distract herself by reading. At first, it did work. But soon, she wanted the man she was reading about to be by her side, and reading became insufficient. Closing it and slipping the envelope under the cover, she abandoned both on the bedside table and went outside.

Not familiar with the castle yet, she was also not used to the splendid view her balcony was offering. The ocean was stretching to the horizon and, below, the village was blanketed with snow. A white layer was also covering the curved balustrade. The Jolly Roger was visible but the deck looked deserted. Shivering with cold, she went back inside, and sighed when she opened the closet: the clothes were nothing like what she was used to wear. Scoping the wardrobe, she stopped on an off-white piece of clothing which didn’t look like a dress. It happened to be a hooded cloak that, she decided, would fit the purpose. She returned outside and squinted to examine the Jolly Roger. There he was: she was seeing a black dot and could easily imagine Killian leaning on the railing of the ship and gazing at the horizon. But she could also envision the expression on his face and she suddenly felt downhearted as memories of New York invaded her mind.

“Emma?”

She started with surprise and turned around to face her father. The smile she faked didn’t seem to dupe him and he looked concerned.

“Your mother told me you wanted to be alone for a moment. I just don’t know how long a moment you need. I can give you some more time if you want to.”

“No, it’s fine. You can stay.”

He looked her up and down, examining the off-white hooded cloak she was wearing over her clothes from the other realm, and flashed her a crooked smile. “That’s an interesting combination.”

“Don’t laugh,” she said, unable to repress a genuine smile herself. She was recognizing her father well there: joking and teasing her to try and make her laugh. “Finding matching clothes wasn’t as important as watching over Killian.”

“What is he doing down there?” Charming asked while coming to stand by her side.

“He wanted to be in a familiar place to think,” Emma said, gazing at the Jolly Roger. “He’s not taking all of this very well, he’s blaming himself, he thinks everything is his fault and says he should have believed in our love and let the true love’s kiss work.”

“He probably just needs some time.”

“I know. I’ve been told that twice already,” she sighed.

“How are _you_ handling all of this? Are you okay?”

Emma shrugged and tore her gaze away from the ship to look her father in the eye. “All this time in New York, I thought I would just need to find a way for him to recover his memories. But it’s not enough to get him back. He’s not the same. He’s being distant because of all this guilt… He’s holding himself responsible for everything that happened and, no matter how many times I tell him, he won’t forgive himself. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Needing to free herself of this burden, she said all of this at once. Not finding the words, her father pulled her into a hug, cradling the back of her head and giving her some of the comfort she needed. When he pulled away, he searched her eyes.

“Do you mind if I go and talk to him?”

Surprised as she wondered what he intended to tell Killian, Emma settled for shaking her head, and soon found herself alone on the balcony.

* * *

“Killian?”

“Mate,” he greeted.

Killian didn’t need to turn around to know whom the familiar voice belonged to. The absence of footsteps indicated the royal had stopped before walking on deck. Taking a deep breath, Killian turned his head to face the man who was standing at the top of the stairs leading down to the docks.

“Come on board.”

Inviting him aboard his ship was the polite thing to do, even if he would have preferred to be left alone and muse as he pleased. Not expecting his visit, Killian inquiringly looked at him.

“You should be up there, at the castle, with all of us. And mostly, with Emma.”

Killian sighed and turned to the ocean. He had isolated himself on his ship to think, and was not ready to go back to Emma yet; he was not ready to look at the one he loved and missed without hating himself for everything he had made her go through during the past month.

“Is that your leather jacket?” Charming asked, once again interrupting his musings.

“Aye,” Killian confirmed, his jaw clenching as he gazed at the black item of clothing floating away. After getting his belongings back at the castle, he had come to his ship and changed, trading the fake hand and the leather jacket he had been wearing in New York for his hook and usual leather coat. “We, sailors, use to throw our dead into the water. The man I was in this damn realm is no longer.”

“She’s right, you know? None of us blames you for what happened. You need to forgive yourself.”

“Aye, I’ve been told that. But despite the forgiveness of others, I’m not there yet.” Looking down, he swept the thin layer of snow away from the railing. “I intended to propose to her – on her birthday, right before we saw the lights in the sky and we found you.”

“Intended?” Charming repeated. “Have you changed your plans?”

“Not only have I lost the ring I had for her,” Killian said, his jaw clenching at the thought of the Evil Queen having it; it had been in his pocket during the royal ball and so when he had fallen through the portal. That was how she had found it, and perhaps even what had given her the idea of making him believe he was engaged to Milah. He shook off the idea. Thinking of Emma calmed him down but sorrow prevailed. “I’ve also lost the confidence I had. The confidence that I was good enough. I had sworn to myself that I would never do her any wrong, but I’ve done nothing but to hurt her lately. More than a whole month doing nothing but to cause her pain.” Self-loathing made him clench his jaw again and he turned to Charming. “After all of this, how could I possibly deserve her?”

“Stubborn, aren’t you? Convinced that it’s all your fault even when we assure you it’s not...”

“But it is my fault,” Killian insisted, repeating what he had told Emma. “I was weak. I’ve always told Emma nothing would ever stop me from loving her, and it only took a magic trick to prove me wrong.”

“It wasn’t a simple magic trick. It was dark magic. And it didn’t prove you wrong, because you actually never stopped loving her. I wasn’t there, but Emma, Liam and Henry all told me what happened. I haven’t heard your version of the story, but would you be able to look me in the eye and affirm that, from the moment when she came to your apartment, you have thought of anything but her?” Charming defiantly looked at Killian who averted his eyes without saying a word. Taking his silence as an answer, he went on. “That’s because, deep down, you’ve always loved her. You simply refused to see it because you’re a man of honor.”

His words sounded like Emma’s, but Killian still refused to believe them. “How would you know that?”

“Believe me or not, I know what it feels like. A long time ago, I was engaged to another woman. A wedding for the merger of two kingdoms. But I met Snow and everything changed. I had a choice; I could follow the rules, or follow my heart. It didn’t take me long before deciding to follow my heart. But for me, the choice was easy. The situation you faced was much worse, as what you wanted to run away from wasn’t an arranged wedding, but what you thought was a genuine love that you simply had forgotten because of an accident. Regina played quite a number on you. She made you feel guilty for not being in love with someone you had actually never loved and, in addition to this guilt, Emma knocked on your door and unwillingly made your life even more complicated because, despite the curse, true love happened. It happened because it simply can’t be stopped, but it also made you feel even more guilty because you felt like you were not in love with the right person. Isn’t that right?”

“Aye, that is,” Killian admitted, his eyebrows creased. Staring at the horizon, he had been carefully listening, but still couldn’t see a reason to forgive himself. “That doesn’t change the fact I’ve hurt her.”

“Definitely stubborn,” Charming commented. “My point was that you were facing an impossible situation and Regina is the one to blame for all of this. The only reason why you didn’t go to Emma was that you’re a man of honor: you didn’t want to deceive the one you thought you were supposed to love, and that is not something you should blame yourself for.” Seeing that Killian was looking away, frowning and clenching his jaw, he went on. “Since you don’t seem to believe me, let me tell you another part of the story. Perhaps it’ll help you see the situation in a different way. Emma told me the true love’s kiss didn’t work the first time. But that doesn’t call your love for her into question. The fact it didn’t work only reflects what you wanted to believe at this moment. Years ago, Snow and I went through something similar. This was at the beginning of our story. What you can call my adoptive father forced her to make me believe she didn’t love me and to leave. Instead of living with the pain, she preferred to drink a potion which made her forget me. When I found her, like Emma when she found you, I thought a true love’s kiss could make her remember and fix everything. But when I kissed her, nothing happened. I tried to explain to her, but she didn’t want to hear it. This potion had not only made her forget who I was: she had also lost sight of who she was. She had got it into her head that she wanted to kill the Evil Queen and nothing I would say could change that. But the woman I knew would have never committed such an act. She told me she appreciated action more than words and, since I couldn’t let her fill her heart with darkness, I took the arrow aimed at the Evil Queen. It made her realize that I meant it when saying that I loved her. That was when she decided to kiss me and, this time, it worked: her memories came back because she was willing to see the truth.”

“And Snow didn’t blame herself for making you go through all of this?” Killian asked. The thought of Emma taking an arrow for him was unbearable and he wondered if the emotional pain he had inflicted her was lesser.

“Well, things got complicated. We got separated so she didn’t really have time for guilt. But I’m not sure she would have felt guilty, not for long anyway. We had already suffered long enough, guilt would have only made the pain last longer. She didn’t blame herself, even if she had been the one to make the decision to drink that potion to forget everything. You didn’t even decide anything, so why would you blame yourself? And before you say anything, let me add this: I never blamed Snow for drinking this potion. She had her reasons, she had suffered too. I can assure you Emma is feeling the same way. All I wanted was to be with her, and that’s without a doubt what Emma wants too. She’s waiting for you. I understand you may need some time, but brooding about what happened won’t do you any good. Go back to her as soon as you can.”

Killian nodded. “I will.”

Charming flashed him a smile and amicably patted his shoulder. “I’m going back to the castle but one more thing before I leave: if you need some help to find a new ring, I know someone who can make you one.”

He winked and walked away before Killian had time to find anything to say. This visit had been unexpected, but after all not so unwelcome. It had interrupted his musings about how to fix everything and make up for the wrong he had caused, but he had been going round in circles anyway and the man had offered him a new perspective. He was not ready to forgive himself, but at least he could understand why nobody else was blaming him.

* * *

Forgetting to eat, Emma was absent-mindedly stirring the content of her plate. She was not even aware of the conversations going on around her. During the afternoon, her moral had dropped: the more time had gone by, the worse she had been feeling. Even her father, who had come back confident from the Jolly Roger, assuring that the pirate would soon be back, had started to wonder if Killian hadn’t pretended to agree with him only to dismiss him more quickly. Dinner time had come and Killian still wasn’t there. Her parents, Henry, Liam and Ariel had assessed it was better to leave her in peace and they were right: after spending the end of the afternoon with them, she was not interested in taking part into their conversations anymore. The only one she wanted to talk to was Killian. He had said he would be back, but it had been hours already. It was while she was planning to walk down to the Jolly Roger after dinner that a voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Emma?”

This was the only voice she wanted to hear. Instantly, she looked up and a smile brightened her features as she saw the man she loved standing on the doorstep. With a move of the head, he indicated her to join him and without waiting, she stood up. She glanced at her mother as an apology for interrupting dinner like this, but Snow indicated her to go to Killian.

As she walked to him, Emma examined his expression, trying to guess whether these hours of thinking had provided him the comfort he had been looking for. When she was close enough, he held out his hand and pulled her out of the room.

“Killian…”

She actually didn’t know what to say but didn’t have time to think more about words anyway: he captured her lips and pinned her against the dark red tapestry of the corridor. The kiss was soft and passionate at the same time; the kind of kisses which could easily sweep her off of her feet. Wrapping her arms around his neck for some support during the kiss, she kept him close to her when it ended, keeping her eyes closed and passing her tongue over her lower lip.

“There’s the man I missed,” she whispered breathlessly. Leaning her head back against the wall, she searched his eyes. “Does this mean you finally forgave yourself?”

“Let’s say that’s in progress,” he said, his smile reflecting hers. “Is the offer of you forgiving me still standing?”

“Killian. How many times will I need to tell you? I’ve never blamed you for what happened.”

He flashed her a smile before looking down, seemingly examining her clothes as he took the off-white fabric of her dress between his fingers.

“You look beautiful.”

“You’ll have to thank my mother. I asked her for help.” Memories of the afternoon made her repress a laugh. “I was wearing a cloak when I was on the balcony, and my father made it clear it didn’t match the outfit I was wearing this morning.”

“I won’t thank your mother. You’re not beautiful because of your clothes. _You_ make these clothes beautiful.”

“Killian…” She was tempted to roll her eyes but preferred to gaze at him instead.

Softly taking her hand, he remained silent and just devoured her with his eyes.

“I missed feeling like you’re going to drill a hole in my head if you look at me any harder,” she said. “Have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are? It’s so easy to get lost in them.”

He chuckled; a sound she loved and which she had not heard in a long time. “And I had missed you swooning over me like this. It looks like you’ve lost the habit of having a devilishly handsome pirate in the surroundings.”

Delighted to see he was teasing her, which she took as a sign everything was going back to normal, she replied on the same light tone. “That’s not something I can get used to. And I don’t want to. Swooning is enjoyable.”

He laughed and their lips were reunited. He trailed kisses across her cheek and down her neck, and she felt like he was awaking every inch of skin his lips were touching.

“How I missed this,” she breathed and he smiled against her skin.

“Well, it looks like someone has forgiven himself.”

A smile was audible in the familiar voice and they both stopped to look at Snow.

“Oh, don’t mind me, I’m just walking by,” she said. “A cloak, that’s what I need. It’s getting cold. Well… probably not for everyone.”

With a bright smile on her lips, she walked away, and Killian and Emma looked at each other. Because of how they had been caught in the act, they failed at repressing a laugh and leant forehead against forehead, simply enjoying the fact that they were together. Emma suddenly remembered what she wanted to tell him, and this moment felt like the right time.

“Killian?”

Standing up straight to look her in the eye, he raised an inquiring eyebrow and she lost her words.

“I…” After all, maybe it was not the time to say it. “Should we go back and have dinner with the others?”

He looked surprised and she guessed he knew this was not the question she had intended to ask in the first place. “Sorry I’ve interrupted your dinner. I should have waited.”

“Don’t worry. I didn’t feel like eating.” Considering the idea of going back to the dining room, she realized she had no interest in food at the moment. “Actually, I still don’t.”

“I don’t either,” he said.

“Good, because… there’s something I need to tell you. Come.”


	9. Father-to-Be

Holding his hand, Emma led Killian to their bedroom. She was feeling both nervous and excited because of the news she was about to share with him. Closing the door behind them, she went to sit on the bed and, when he imitated her and waited for her to talk, she hesitated.

“What is it, love?” he encouraged her.

“I…” She drowned in his eyes and lost her composure. What if he didn’t want to be a father? “Isn’t it a bit cold?”

Killian raised an inquiring eyebrow. Emotions were enough to keep her warm but she was buying some time. Getting up, she walked to the fireplace and used her magic to make a fire crackle in the hearth. She had been waiting for this moment for such a long time that, now that it was coming, her heart was racing. Standing with her back to Killian who removed his leather coat to reveal his usual black shirt and red velvet vest, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before going back to him. He was silently waiting, sitting on the edge of the bed and gazing at her. He gave her this reassuring look reminding her that she could tell him anything, and it was enough.

Sitting cross-legged and holding her ankles, she smiled and lightly bit her lip before announcing, “I’m pregnant.”

“What?”

Hoping it was only a matter of not hearing her words, she repeated more distinctly, “I’m pregnant.”

His eyebrows went up and he seemed to hold his breath. “How? When?”

Examining his features, Emma was mostly seeing surprise. All that mattered to her was that he didn’t flinch or show any negative feeling.

“Ten weeks and a half ago,” she answered with her heart pounding inside her chest. “On September the twentieth, the doctor said. It’s not much visible yet, but we can feel it.”

The news seemed to take a moment to sink in. Emma took his hand and softly placed it on the nascent baby bump. When she looked up, she bit her lip to stop the wave of emotions washing over her at the sight of his sparkling eyes: at last, he seemed to have realized.

“You’re making me into a father,” he murmured.

Shifting closer, he softly cupped her chin and guided her lips to his for a tender kiss, but he didn’t let it last as long as usual; her pregnancy was too much of a distraction and too many interrogations were filling his mind. Still having difficulty to believe, he gently reached her abdomen.

“Does it hurt?” he asked with a concerned look.

“No,” she reassured with a smile, covering his hand with hers. “Can you feel it?”

His focused look and his silence made it obvious that he couldn’t. His touch was light, as if he wasn’t daring to press any harder. She was about to guide his hand but changed her mind.

“Wait,” she interrupted, softly taking his hand away. “Dresses aren’t convenient for this. Or for sitting cross-legged, for that matter. It’ll be easier without it.”

Getting up, she took her dress off and hardly repressed a grin when she saw Killian’s expression of wonder as he looked her up and down.

“Here,” she said while going back on the bed and placing his hand on her lower abdomen, this time without any layer of clothes in between. “Can you feel it?”

“Is it the little bump?”

“Yes,” she whispered with a bright smile, his eyes filled with wonder making her feel like she was falling in love over again.

“It’s so small…”

“Soon, the bump will be visible. And it’ll keep growing over the next few months.”

This piece of information made him look up. “How long do we have to wait before we meet the baby?”

 “The baby should be born some day around June the thirteenth. That’s more than six months away. We have time to get ready for when he, or she, arrives.”

His gaze shifted between her eyes and his hand.

“I’m going to be a father.” The news had been so unexpected that they were still sinking in. “We’re having a baby.”

The tenderness and awe she could see in his eyes were taking her breath away, making her feel like she was his most precious treasure. Overflowing with joy, Killian needed to express his love by pressing his lips against hers. His move was fervent enough to make the both of them topple over and laughs interspersed their kisses. Lying on her back and drowning in his eyes, still covering his hand with hers while caressing the side of his face, she sighed with delight, relieved to see he had reacted so well, and overjoyed to have him there with her.

“The book,” she remembered.

“What?”

“The book,” she repeated, indicating the bedside table. “There’s an envelope inside. Can you give it to me?”

“Sure.”

He playfully rubbed her nose with his own before complying, while she propped herself up on one elbow. Raising an inquiring eyebrow, he handed it to her and shifted to sit by her side.

“What is this?” he asked, squinting as he examined the black and white picture she was holding in front of him.

“Something I got in New York two days ago. It’s called a sonogram.” Aware this was probably not enlightening him much, she lightly bit her lip before adding, “It’s a picture of our baby.”

As expected, this was when it made sense to him. His lips parted and he glanced at her before focusing again on the sonogram.

“Look.” She trailed a finger over the picture. “Here you can see the head, and the little arms here, and the tiny legs.”

He was not taking his eyes off the picture and she was not taking hers off him. Her hand in the nape of his neck, lightly scratching his scalp, she thought of how she had needlessly worried about his reaction.

“I’ve been willing to tell you for so long.” Wrapping her arm around his neck, she pressed a kiss on his cheek. “There’s something else. We could also hear the heartbeat and Henry recorded it, so that you could hear it too.”

She reached for her son’s phone in the drawer of the bedside table and came back to sit by his side.

“Once the battery dies, we won’t be able to use this anymore. But until then…”

Looking up to make sure she had his attention, she pressed the play button.

Back in New York, she had already listened to it to check that the recording was audible, but when the heartbeat came out of the phone, she didn’t feel less emotional than on the first time she had heard it.

“It is fast and strong,” she whispered. “It means our baby is alright.”

Until then silently gazing at the sonogram while listening to the recording, Killian looked up with watering eyes which made her even more emotional.

“We made this,” he said in a low voice. “A baby with a fast and strong little beating heart.”

Some sort of sob mixed with a laugh escaped her due to the overflowing emotions and, putting the phone away, she climbed on his lap, wrapped her arms and legs around his neck and waist, and planted a kiss on his lips. Both holding the sonogram, they silently gazed at it.

“We’re having a baby,” Emma repeated in a hushed voice.

She had known about this for weeks and had already been pregnant years earlier but, for the first time, she was sure that she would not need to go through all of this on her own. The man who was making her feel so much loved was by her side and would remain there and, considering how bewitched he looked while staring at the sonogram, she could tell that the baby she was carrying would receive at least as much love.

A caress on her cheek pulled her out of her thoughts as Killian wiped away a tear which had escaped her. He had put the sonogram away without her noticing, and was looking at her with sparkling eyes filled with tenderness.

“I love you,” she whispered, leaning into his touch.

“And I love you. Both of you,” he added while glancing down at her stomach and she emitted another of these happy sobs.

A tear rolled down her cheek and he kissed it away before tightening his embrace and leaving a trail of kisses as he went down.

“I love you,” she breathed.

Keeping her eyes closed, she let her fingers slip down the red velvet and mechanically unbuttoned his vest.

“Emma, wait,” Killian interrupted and she gave him a confused look. “Can we still make love? While you’re pregnant?”

“Yes!” Her answer was so vivacious that his mouth quirked at a corner and she giggled. Keeping her eyes on his own, she answered while proceeding to make him shirtless. “I’ve actually read about that several times and they all agree to say we can. You don’t have to worry, the baby can’t be hurt.”

Shifting closer, she captured his lips and leant against him. When he laid her down, she thought she had convinced him, but he interrupted their kiss.

“Are you sure the baby won’t be aware of what we’re doing?”

“I’m glad I’ve read all these things: yes, I’m sure.” Even if she was slightly annoyed that he was making her wait, she couldn’t help finding his concern about the baby adorable. “Come here.”

She tried to pull him down to her but he resisted. He looked down as his fingers grazed over her chest.

“Love?” He caught her eye and gave her a crooked smile. “Is it because you’re pregnant that they’re bigger?”

“It is.” Emma laughed. “I knew you’d notice.”

He chuckled. “How could I not? I first noticed when you hugged me and, well, your cleavage is rather impressive.”

She remembered his appreciative look when she had removed her dress and giggled. “Stop talk-”

Before she had time to finish her sentence, he did what she had just asked and captured her lips.

* * *

 

Emma went on an emotional roller coaster ride. From a world where Killian was everything, she came back down to reality and the burden she had carried during the past weeks collided with the feeling of present fulfilment; with the relief that Killian was by her side again and with the excitement due to the fact that, at present, he knew that he was a father-to-be. Suddenly overwhelmed and only wanting to go back to this world only made of pure happiness and passion where everything seemed to be easy, tears rolled down her cheeks. She didn’t want to cry but the emotions of the present moment combined with the pain associated with the memories of how much she had missed him were too strong.

“My love…”

Killian softly wiped away her tears. He was perceptive enough to guess what was going on inside her head, and guilt filled his eyes.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. Wishing she knew how to make this guilt go away, she cupped his face with both hands. “It’s not your fault.”

He lightly shook his head in deny. She reached up to kiss his cheek but it was not enough to convince him. They didn’t need words to know what they both needed: wrapping her in his arms, Killian tightly hugged her. Silence blanketed them and minutes went by while uncontrollable streams of tears stained her cheeks. His scent filling the air she was breathing and his embrace were soothing and, after a moment, tears stopped.

“I should have been there all this time,” Killian muttered. “For you. For the baby. For Henry.”

“Killian, don’t. It’s not your fault. We discussed this already.”

“It was before you told me you were pregnant. Not only have I failed you and Henry, but also the baby. How can I fix this?”

“Killian, there is nothing to fix! You haven’t failed.”

But as usual, he was being stubborn, and the guilt in his eyes was painful to witness. She pulled him back into a hug and slipped her fingers through his hair. The previous moment spent in his arms had been so soothing that she was feeling like she had no tear to shed anymore; all she needed was to make him feel the same way.

“I just missed you. So much,” she said, justifying the tears which had made him feel guilty. “But everything is alright now. _We_ are alright.”

As an answer, he simply pressed a light kiss on her cheek.

“Also, I should rather warn you now,” she added on a lighter tone. “I’ve read pregnancy would mess up with my emotions. I’m likely to cry or laugh anytime without any reason. And I might wake up in the middle of the night and crave for some food. You’ll have to bear with me. More than six months to go.”

Her words had the desired effect: at last, he smiled again.

“It will be an honor to deal with your emotions and your cravings.”

Her smile brightened. “I love you.”

“And I, you.” Killian glanced down as his hand went down and stopped on the nascent baby bump. He looked serious when he gazed at her. “How will the baby know when it’s time to come out?”

“Actually, I have no clue. But somehow, he will know. And I will too.”

“You will?”

“Oh yeah. There’s this thing called contractions. I will start having some of them in a few months but, when the time comes, they’ll be more frequent and painful.”

“Painful?” Killian repeated, concerned. “Will it hurt?”

Her gaze shifted between his eyes and she chewed on her lip as she wondered if telling him the truth was the best option; she clearly remembered the pain she had endured for Henry, but she didn’t want to scare him yet.

“A bit, but it’s worth it. This will lead to the moment when you can hold our baby for the first time.”

She tried to sugarcoat it but he didn’t seem convinced.

“You don’t have to worry,” she went on. “I’ve been through this once already, and this time I have you. Everything will be alright.”

“Are you sure?”

“Promise.”

Finally, he seemed to believe her. Conversations about the baby went on in a bath by candlelight. Needing to keep her mind busy in the afternoon while he was on the Jolly Roger, Emma had planned ahead and, among some other contributions to improve their room, had placed candles all around the bathroom.

When they were not trying to make up for all the hugs and kisses they had missed during the past month, they were talking about what had happened while he was cursed. Killian had countless questions about how she had known where to find him and how she and Henry had travelled between realms, and about how she had found out about her pregnancy and how she had felt about it. Once again, she tried to sugarcoat her tale, but it didn’t work and, many times, whenever he felt the need to apologize or to comfort her, he interrupted her and sometimes made her lose track of what she was saying by tightening his embrace and kissing her lips, her cheek, her neck or her shoulders.

“The sonogram,” Killian said thoughtfully after a quiet moment. “How did they get this picture of inside you?”

He sounded both guarded and concerned, as if he wasn’t sure he wanted his question to be answered, and it amused Emma.

“Don’t worry, they didn’t need to…” Hesitating on how to word it, she lightly bit her lip to repress a smile. “The picture was taken from outside. The doctor had this device which allowed to see through. And it was not painful or anything.”

Killian looked reassured but still needed a confirmation. “So they haven’t done anything wrong to you, right?”

“You don’t have to worry, it was all right.”

“Good,” he said, relieved.

Cupping his face in her hands, her attention was caught by his messy hair, and she made a smirk appear on his lips as she played with the wet raven strands.

When she was done rearranging his hair, she looked him in the eye and asked seriously, “Are you scared?”

“Scared of what?” he asked, alarmed.

“The baby,” she said in a low voice.

“Why would I be scared of the baby?” Killian was concerned, wondering if there was some information about the baby that he had missed.

“How do you do that?” she asked in a hushed voice. “How are you not scared? In just a few months, we will have a baby, and none of us knows how to take care of one.”

Relieved that there was no more serious issue, he cupped her cheek and searched her eyes. “We’ll figure it out. Just like everyone else does.”

“Killian… What if I can’t do it?” By asking this question, she revealed one of the fears that she had tried to deny, in vain. “I wasn’t there for Henry, and remember how it was on the first weeks he spent with us… Actually, you’re right not to worry. With Henry, you’ve been awesome from the start. It’ll be the same with the baby, you must be a natural. But I… I am not like you. I felt so clueless and uneasy…”

“This was just the beginning. Look how fantastic you are now.” Since she didn’t look convinced, he went on. “Love, I’ll tell you what: I have this feeling that you’re going to be amazing. As always.”

She had the feeling she would never get used to this endless faith he had in her. Unable to get enough of his embrace, she tightly hugged him and wished she could make him feel how much she loved him. Suddenly, his chest rose against hers as he deeply inhaled and his hand in her back stopped moving.

“Killian?”

“Don’t worry,” he whispered breathlessly. “I’m fine.”

This was not enough to reassure her. “What’s happening?”

With a move of the head, he indicated her hand on his shoulder. Golden flares were going out. Realizing she had unleashed some of her magic on him, she quickly removed her hand.

“I’m so sorry! Did I hurt you?”

“Hurt me? Love, calm down. Everything’s fine.” He softly took her hand and made her unclench her fist before pressing his lips against her knuckles. “Remember, it’s not the first time you’re using your magic on me. I just wasn’t expecting it. And it felt different, more intense. Usually, it’s just the magic, but this time it was more… complex. What were you doing?”

“I don’t know, I…” Drowning in his eyes almost made her lose track of what she was saying. “I was not doing anything on purpose. I was thinking it would be nice to have a way to let you know how much I love you. Maybe it’s that. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m more than fine, love. Your magic actually provides some of the best feels, and this was more powerful than I had ever experienced. Perhaps it was your love for me, indeed. It made my heart race and my breath catch and there was this warmth spreading everywhere, and all of this was so pleasant. Your love for me combined with mine for you… That was simply breathtaking.”

“Breathtaking, I noticed,” she teased. “So you confirm this was pleasant?”

“Very.”

She flashed him a smile and placed her hands on his shoulders. Curious about the difference he had mentioned, she let them flare but did so without focusing on her feelings for him.

“How does this feel?” she inquired.

His closed eyes didn’t give her any indication as he always closed them when exposed to her magic.

“Extraordinary.” While her hands kept flaring, he slightly opened one eye. “But I’d say it’s not as intense as before.”

He closed his eyes again and looked so peaceful and handsome that she didn’t resist the temptation to press her lips against his own, smiling against them as he smiled against hers. Gazing at him, she thought of how much she loved him and she didn’t need to ask if he felt it: the change on his features made it obvious that he did.

“It really works,” she whispered in awe. “How does it feel exactly? Is it just a vague feeling or is it something more specific?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” She thought of how she had drowned in his eyes while dancing with him at the ball and let the memory invade her mind, focusing on how it had felt like falling in love over again. “Does it just feel like love, or can you even guess what I’m thinking about?”

“It feels like… falling in love with you over and over again. Like on the first time I saw you, when you walked into me below deck on the day we met. Or like when I wake up in the morning and you look at me and I remember how lucky I am because we are in love.”

“Aww Killian.” Feeling the need to be closer to him, she leant her forehead against his. “I was thinking of dancing with you. But the feeling is the same as you described.”

“So you can share your feelings but not your thoughts?”

“Seems like it,” she confirmed. “And the feelings seem to remind you of the moments when you felt the same way.”

“I didn’t know you fell in love over again when we danced,” Killian commented, sounding pleased.

“I do every time I drown in your eyes.”

Letting her hands slowly slip down his arms, she sent him some more love. Her thoughts drifted and, when she saw him furrow his brow, she stopped thinking of how much she had missed him and focused on the fact she was not blaming him for anything instead; maybe sharing with him her feelings would show him he didn’t need to feel guilty. Unable to see if it was working, she let her thoughts drift again and showed him the cocktail of feels experienced during the moments they had shared in the evening. His reaction was instant: wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her into a tight hug.

“I wish you could feel this too,” he whispered breathlessly before pressing his lips on her neck, temporarily making her forget what she wanted to say.

“Maybe we can. Maybe I can make it work both ways,” she finally answered. Wrapping her arms around his neck and stopping her hands from flaring, she mused over it. “With a bit of practice, maybe I can even find a way to make you feel how I feel in real time. Not just feelings, but also the feels. Imagine: with each of your caresses, you would feel my skin under your fingers, but you would also feel the warmth of your fingers on my skin. With each of our kisses, you would feel my lips against yours but also yours against mine.”

“Sounds like heaven,” Killian whispered in her ear.

“If I can make it work both ways… Every touch, every move, would give us double feels.” A teasing smile stretched her lips. “You couldn’t handle it.”

“Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it,” he replied with a smirk. “Love, do you honestly think the feels I bring to you are more powerful than those you bring to me?”

“Definitely! Just wait until I know how to do that with my magic and you’ll see.”

He chuckled and captured her in his embrace. “You’re amazing.”

His words were simple but they were enough to make her smile widen. She left a trail of kisses across his face and melted in his embrace.

Silence was broken by a rumble and Killian raised his eyebrows. “Was that the baby?”

Emma laughed. “No. That was me. How about we go on a night-time expedition? Something like Operation Sneak-Into-the-Kitchen-and-Get-Some-Food.”

Killian chuckled. “So that was your stomach.”

“Yes.” She chewed on her lip to repress a smile.

“Let’s go and get you some food.”

When they were out of the bathtub, Emma walked to the large counter next to the sink.

“Look. Snow… my mum,” she rectified, still not used to have someone to call that. “She brought these. This one is for you.”

She handed him a black bathrobe and Killian squinted.

“Are you sure I’m supposed to wear that?”

Emma laughed. “Yes, it’s for you. I have the same in red.”

“That’s my point! Do you really think men wear those?”

“Yes, they do.” She was hardly stopping herself from laughing. “Come on, what’s wrong with it? It’s black and as long as your coat.”

“Love!” He sounded offended that she was comparing it to his coat, and it amused her even more.

“Try it,” she insisted. “Also, there’s this.”

She giggled as she shoved with one foot some fluffy black slippers towards him.

“Really…” He repressed a laugh as he saw them. “I’ll try it but that’s just because you’re the one asking.”

“Consider me flattered,” she teased.

He turned his back on her while putting on the bathrobe and the slippers. A moment later, holding onto the belt and looking serious, he slowly turned around. Once he was facing her, he smirked and raised an eyebrow, and it was mostly this combination of features which made her gaze at him.

“Come on, love, don’t tell me you forgot how devilishly handsome I look no matter what I wear?”

She laughed, which was exactly the reaction he had expected, and closed the distance between them to rearrange his bathrobe, making more of his chest apparent.

“I’m not even surprised,” he commented. “You know, I can just take it off if you want to see more of my devilishly handsome self.”

A giggle escaped her. “You keep it. We need to go to the kitchen, you can’t wander around wearing nothing.”

“You’re still wearing nothing,” he remarked.

“Not for long.”

Killian stepped aside to look at the mirror above the sink. Seeing in there only his torso, he went back to their bedroom and went to stand in front of the full-length mirror. When Emma joined him, she burst out of laughter as she found him standing on one leg, examining the black slipper.

“Never would I have guessed royals were wearing that kind of things.” The smirk and the raised eyebrow were still there when he glanced at her. “Don’t I look handsome?”

Emma laughed even more, mostly because seeing him like this was making her feel light-hearted; she knew he was joking to make her laugh, but the fact that his handsomeness was his main concern only meant that her man was fine.

“You don’t look too bad,” she teased.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” he playfully replied.

Tugging on her hand, he pulled her against him. While they kissed, he tried to look at their reflection in the mirror.

“What are you doing?” she asked against his lips, feeling that he was distracted.

“I was trying to see what you look like when you’re kissing me. But that’s not easy.”

“You want to see what I look like when I’m kissing you,” she repeated with a soft blush coating her cheeks. Curious about what _he_ looked like when he was kissing her, she scanned the room and stopped on the fireplace. “I know what to do. Come.”

She grabbed Henry’s cellphone on the bedside table and led a confused Killian in front of the crackling fire.

“Stay here,” she said before going to the fireplace.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking a picture.”

“But it’s you I want to see.”

“You will.” She giggled, guessing that, even if he had owned a phone for weeks, he was still unaware of some features. “We have ten seconds from now.”

She placed the phone on the mantelpiece, ran to him and kissed him, but he was so confused that he looked at the phone when the picture was taken.

“I didn’t know these devices didn’t need us to take pictures. Can we try again?”

“Sure.”

Still laughing at Killian’s suspicious look on the picture, Emma placed the phone back on the mantelpiece. This time, he didn’t pay any attention to the phone and swept her off her feet with a passionate kiss.

“It’s been more than ten seconds,” Emma whispered against his lips.

Killian chuckled and took the phone from the mantelpiece. Not knowing how to view the picture, he handed it to Emma.

“Look, you can even zoom in,” she said while zooming in on his face.

He swiped left to see her instead.

“I didn’t know you knew how to do that,” she commented.

“I didn’t know either,” he chuckled. “You look so beautiful and peaceful. Were you swooning?”

“Maybe.”

“I take that as a yes,” he said with a smirk. “My swooning princess, can we take another one?”

“So that you can make me swoon again? Yes, we can.” Once again, she placed the phone on the mantelpiece. “The same one?”

“No. Come here.”

Taking her hand, he pulled her back against him and tenderly wrapped his arms around her waist. She naturally closed her fingers around his wrist and his hook, and closed her eyes as he pressed his lips against her cheek.

“The devilishly handsome pirate and his flawless princess,” Killian commented. “We look amazing.”

“I really love this one. All the love and the tenderness… Too bad we don’t have some sort of printer.”

“Some sort of what?”

“A printer,” Emma repeated. “To get the picture on paper, so that we can keep it even when the phone dies.”

“Don’t you have some magical printer?”

“You mean using my magic to print it?” Emma considered the idea. All she needed to do was to transfer the picture from the phone to a piece of paper. “I need to try! Come!”

“Where are we going?”

“To the library. There should be some paper or parchment there.”

Emma knew the library was close to their room. In the afternoon, she had been there by mistake, when she had wanted to go to Henry’s room which happened to be at the same place but on the floor right down below. Most of the walls were hidden by high shelves. The imposing desk sitting in the middle of the room indicated that the room also served as an office. Further behind, near the French window leading to the balcony, were two couches and a coffee table. Other armchairs were filling some of the space.

Emma found some parchment in the drawer of the desk.

“I’ve never tried this but…”

She trailed off and placed her hands on the phone and on the parchment. Closing her eyes, she focused on what she wanted to do. A tingling sensation spread along her arms and, when she looked at the result, her face split into a bright smile.

“You’re brilliant. Amazing,” Killian commented as he gazed at the picture of them kissing. It looked a bit different than on the phone because of the matter of the parchment, and he loved it even more this way.

“I’m going to do the same with the other picture.”

A moment later, she handed him a second piece of parchment and nestled against him.

“This one really is my favorite,” she whispered.

“I love both. Look at how you’re gripping my hair on this one. No wonder why it always ends up so messy.” He chuckled and she laughed only feebly. “Love, are you alright?”

“Too much magic," she whispered while tucking his face in her neck and breathing his scent to try and make the dizziness go away.

“Love…” He tenderly wrapped her in his arms. “Do you need to lie down?”

“No, I’ll be fine. Just a minute.”

“We’ve been distracted from our initial mission. Do you remember that’s in the kitchen we were supposed to go in the first place?”

Realizing he had made her forget about dinner, she said nothing. He seemed to take her silence as an answer and chuckled before kissing her hair.

“I’m not feeling dizzy anymore,” she announced. “Let’s go.”

After leaving the phone and their pictures in their bedroom which was on their way, they went downstairs. Killian looked on both sides of the deserted corridor lit with torches and turned to Emma.

“Do you remember where the kitchen is?”

“I was hoping you would. Henry’s room is on this floor. I think the kitchen is one floor below.”

Soon, they found themselves trying to open different doors, and Emma decided to turn it into a game.

“Let’s play: every time we try to open a wrong door, you owe me a kiss.”

“We’ll never make it to the kitchen,” Killian commented with a chuckle.

“That’s the third door you’re trying to open. And now…”

Emma trailed off and flashed him a playful smile before running away, opening all the doors on her way. Gladly playing her game, Killian ran after her and caught up to give her the kisses she had decided he owed her. Their laughs were the only sound filling the deserted corridor. At last, after opening several doors in a row, they found the kitchen. At the back of the room were a fireplace inside which a cooking pot was sitting, and a stone wood-fired oven. Along the walls were countertops and cupboards. In front of them was a table with four seats.

“Here’s your dinner,” said Killian, indicating the dishes on the table. “Look, your mother left a note for you.”

She took the piece of parchment and her smile widened as she read the few words.

_‘In case you feel better and hunger comes back, here’s for you. And for Killian, of course!_

_Goodnight,_

_Snow.’_

“She knows me well.” Emma examined the three dishes and noticed the table was even set for two people. Quickly identifying the main course which was leftovers from the dinner, she brought it to the oven and lit up a fire to reheat it. “Now we just need to wait.”

“I might just know the occupation.” He wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear. “I still owe you fourteen kisses.”

“Perfect occupation.”

He trailed kisses across her cheek and she turned in his arms to face him. Their lips remained locked together as she led him back to the table, let him sit down on a chair and straddled him.

“Perhaps the dish is warm enough, now,” Killian suggested after a moment.

Emma didn’t know how much time had passed but she gathered he was right and got up.

“Do you want more potatoes?” Killian asked when he served her.

“No, thank you. I actually have too many. Take this one,” she said while transferring a potato from her plate to his own.

“Are you sure you don’t need to eat more?” Killian tilted his head and squinted. “Actually, how does the baby eat?”

“That’s why you wanted me to eat more potatoes; to make sure the baby had enough,” Emma realized, in awe. Once again, she was glad that, back in New York, she had read a lot about pregnancy. “When I eat, nutrients go into my blood, and the baby gets them.”

“The baby eats blood?” he asked, taken aback.

“No,” she giggled. “The baby actually doesn’t really eat. There’s this thing called the umbilical cord, it connects the baby to me and, with this, we kind of share our blood. So, when I eat, nutrients go from my blood to his blood, and it feeds him.”

Slightly confused, Killian flashed her a smile. “I think you might need to be patient because I have many questions to ask. I don’t even know what the umbilical thing is.”

“And I think it’s adorable that you’re asking so many questions.” Emma reached his hand across the table. “I’m going to answer each one of them; if I know the answer.”

“Does everyone know already?” he inquired while playing with her fingers.

“Know what?”

“That you’re a baby’s home.”

“A baby’s home,” Emma repeated dreamily while covering her lower abdomen with her free hand, loving this way to say she was pregnant.

“Aye. Does everyone else know?”

“No. Not everyone knows. Only Henry, because I couldn’t keep that from him. But I didn’t want anyone else to know before you.”

This piece of information seemed to delight him.

“Not even my brother, when he came to see you in New York?” he asked.

“Not even. No one knows but Henry. We can announce it to everyone tomorrow.”

Killian took her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss on her knuckles. “I love you.”

“I love you,” she repeated and drowned in his eyes.

They remembered they needed to eat and, once their plates were cleared, Emma looked at the two other dishes.

“Treacle tart or chocolate cake?” she offered Killian.

“Your heart’s desire, love. I promise that’s all I want you to have.”

Wondering why he needed to be so poetic to answer such a banal question, she looked him in the eye and got lost. Driven by love, she went to sit on his lap, leant her forehead against his own and played with his fingers.

“Actually, I’m not interested in the tart or the cake. Unless you want some?” she inquired.

“I’m not interested either.”

“Then, a night and every other night to come spent in your embrace is all my heart desires.”

“I do not intend to spend a single night away from you.”

“Good. Can we go back to bed now?”

After some cleaning, that was what they did. Finding their way back to their room proved to be much easier than finding the way to the kitchen.

Emma was brushing her teeth when Killian, who had been lovingly gazing at her, came to stand behind her and tightly hugged her.

“We’re having a baby!” he said excitedly, sounding like he was still struggling to believe and had just remembered it was happening.

Her face splitting into a bright smile, she turned in his arms and peppered his face with kisses.

It was only when they got ready to sleep that Emma realized how exhausted she was. It was like she had been disconnected from time. She was unable to assess how late it was, but guessed that the night was already far advanced. The day had been unusually long and she didn’t even try to get her mind around the fact that, in the morning, she had been in New York. She actually didn’t care. All that mattered was that her Killian had come back to her and they were back on track; together, at home. The princess and her pirate, a very delighted father-to-be, were elated to be where they were and, in each other’s arms, they both drifted off to sleep.


	10. Second Chance

“Killian, wait.”

He was about to open the door, but Emma stopped him.

“It’s going to be alright, love. But we don’t have to tell them now if you don’t want to.”

“I do want to tell them but…” She raised her shoulders in a way Killian could only describe as adorable. “Should I be used to be the center of attention by now? Because I’m not.”

“Well, you’ve been mine for more than a year,” he said while brushing a blonde curl behind her ear and a giggle escaped her.

“I don’t mind being your center of attention.” Holding the lapels of his coat, she closed the distance and looked him in the eye. “I can even say I quite enjoy it. But that’s because it’s you, and we’re often just the two of us. In this room, it won’t be like that.”

Killian and Emma were in the corridor, standing right behind the door leading to the dining room where her parents, Liam, Ariel and Henry were supposed to be already waiting for them for lunch. She tiptoed to press her lips against his own, and determinedly looked at the door.

“Alright, I’m ready.”

“Are my lips that powerful?” Killian chuckled.

“Yes. Not just your lips. You, all of you. Come.”

She took his hand, opened the door and led him inside.

Her parents, her son, the sailor and the mermaid were not at the table like Emma had expected them to be, but were gathered in the couches around the coffee table by the fireplace. Their entrance didn’t go unnoticed: the conversations stopped as they all turned to them. Snow stood up and brought them two glasses.

“It is so nice to have you both back with us!” she said with a bright smile.

“I…” Staring at the glass her mother was handing her, Emma trailed off and decided that taking the glass and keeping it untouched would be easier than explaining why she had to refuse.

“We were waiting for you to toast your return!”

Snow gestured for them to join the others around the table. Slipping his left arm in Emma’s back and catching her attention, Killian raised a meaningful eyebrow. Her gaze shifting between his eyes and his encouraging smile, she finally nodded and took a deep breath before addressing the rest of the room.

“Before we toast anything… There is something that Killian and I would like to announce.”

Instantly, Emma felt the intensity of the five pairs of eyes eagerly staring at her, besides Killian’s reassuring gaze. She focused on Henry, who was looking at her with a bright smile, making it obvious that he knew what this was all about. Thinking of what she was about to say, she didn’t catch the meaningful exchange between Killian and her father; how Charming inquiringly looked at him and how he lightly shook his head. Emma scanned the room and lightly bit her lip to stop her smile from spreading even more.

“I’m… a baby’s home, like Killian called it.” Lightly scratching his back, she glanced at him and a wave of love and tenderness washed over her. Again, she turned to her family. “We’re having a baby.”

“Aww, Emma!”

Ariel was the first one to react but Charming was the first one to reach for his daughter. He didn’t say anything but Emma could see in his smile and in his eyes an emotion reminding her of Killian’s on the previous night. He hugged her, cradling the back of her head.

“This is amazing,” he said in a low voice as he pulled away. He imitated Liam by patting Killian’s shoulder and flashed him and his daughter a smile. “Congratulations to you both!”

Killian raised an inquiring eyebrow and his mouth quirked at a corner. “You know, mate… I haven’t done much, I just-”

“Killian,” Emma interrupted him with a light laugh, softly nudging him in the ribs.

“What?” he chuckled. “Love, I mean, you’re the one to congratulate. _You_ are the baby’s home.”

The love in his eyes and the reverence with which he said those words momentarily lost her, but her musings were soon stopped as Ariel enthusiastically hugged her.

“Emma, that’s fantastic! How do you feel?”

“I…” She paused to consider the question and her smile widened. “I can’t think of a moment in my life when I’ve felt better than now.”

The euphoria provoked by the news was infectious, leading her to mean her words. Remembering that the little being she and Killian had created was growing inside her made a surge of love wash over her. She would have unleashed this love by throwing herself in his arms if it hadn’t been for Henry, who had just come to him.

“Mum told me to keep it secret in New York! Are you happy? Did you listen to…” The boy trailed off and turned to Emma. “Mum, did you make him listen to the recording?”

“Aye, she did! And she told me you were the one thinking of recording it on the device. Thanks, lad!”

Henry’s smile brightened. “Mum cried when we listened to it in New York. Did you?”

“Perhaps,” he said with a crooked smile.

“He did,” Emma confirmed and her son chuckled. Her gaze shifting between her two men, she sighed with delight. “Come here, the two of you.”

She pulled both of them into a hug and closed her eyes, savoring the moment. She opened them when she realized someone had yet to come to her; Snow was watching them with a proud smile and teary eyes, standing aside because she obviously didn’t want to interrupt them. Pulling away from the hug, Emma let Killian and Henry resume their conversation and stepped toward her mother, who closed the distance and cupped her face in her hands.

“I knew it!” Snow said with a bright smile.

She slightly opened her mouth. “You did?”

“Yes,” she confirmed, still cupping her daughter’s face in her hands and admiring her.

“How? Since when?”

“Yesterday, during lunch, you were thoughtfully looking down and keeping your hands over your belly. Who does that, other than mums-to-be?”

Amazed by how perceptive her mother was, Emma bit her lip and, a second later, found herself in a tight hug.

“I am _so_ happy for you!” Snow pulled away and brushed a blonde curl behind her ear. “Do you know when-”

“The baby will be born in June,” Emma answered, easily guessing what the upcoming question was. “Three days ago, I’ve seen a doctor. She said the baby was alright.”

“We need to get you a doctor here. There’s one living in the village. We can invite him to live at the castle until the time comes. We’re going to take care of you and your baby.” For a moment, they silently looked each other in the eye, until Snow added, “Time for a toast!”

“How are you feeling, love?” Killian asked, smoothly coming to stand by her side as soon as her mother left. “You seem to handle being the center of attention pretty well.”

“They all reacted so well. Our baby is so loved already!”

“Our baby will be the most loved baby of all the realms.”

Drowning in his eyes, Emma sighed with delight and placed a hand in the nape of his neck. With a move of the head, he indicated Snow who was trying to get her attention before proposing a toast. Emma pretended to listen but she didn’t hear what her mother had to say and, gazing at Killian again, she drifted.

“Imagine the baby looks just like you,” she said dreamily. “Most beautiful baby ever.”

A chuckle escaped him as he was not expecting to hear this, and he lightly shook his head. “Love…”

“You can’t disagree, you know I’m right. That’s too bad you don’t have pictures of when you were a kid, I’m sure you were adorable.”

“Perhaps,” he smirked. “But I still disagree, because I think it would be a shame if the baby doesn’t take after you.”

They clank glasses and, remembering she couldn’t drink, she handed hers to Killian. “I can’t drink.”

“What do you mean?”

“The baby. I can’t drink any alcohol while I’m pregnant.”

His eyebrows shot up. “You can’t have any rum until June?”

She shook her head and he looked concerned.

“Don’t worry,” she reassured. “I’ll be fine as long as I can have you.”

This was enough to make him smile again. “Well, this pirate comes with an unlimited availability for you!” He looked down at her glass and became more serious again. “We need to find you something else. Lad?”

Sitting on the couch, Henry turned to Killian instantly. “Yeah?”

“What is it that you’re drinking?”

“Pumpkin juice!”

Killian made a face. “Is that any good?”

“Yes! Do you want to try?” Henry handed his glass to Killian who refused it.

“No thanks, it’s not for me, it’s for-”

“Is everything alright?” Snow asked.

“Aye, we’re just looking for another drink for Emma.”

“I can’t drink alcohol,” she completed.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” her mother apologized. “I should have thought of that.”

“No, don’t apologize, it’s alright. You weren’t even supposed to know.”

“I’m going to get you another drink. Is pumpkin juice okay? We have other beverages if you prefer.”

“Pumpkin juice will do just fine. But I can go and get it myself.”

“No, no, no,” Snow refused. “You stay here and I’ll get you a drink. Let me be a mother and take care of you, even if that’s not much.”

* * *

 

In the next days, Killian and Emma got accustomed to royal life. More people than they thought lived in the castle; maids, cooks, knights and royal counselors all had a room there. Like Snow had told her daughter, they invited the doctor to settle in. At first reluctant to leave his house which was in a relatively remote part of the village, the man named Victor Whale had finally agreed, but had showed himself to be rather demanding, asking for all his equipment and belongings to be moved to the castle.

Finding him to be authoritative and stubborn, Killian disliked him and watched him closely whenever he interacted with Emma. Once the doctor was settled, he met the two of them to talk about his role during the upcoming months. Taking in the information about details he had not considered, Killian frowned.

“Do you mean you’ll see her undressed?”

“I’ll have to if you want me to help your girlfriend.”

“My princess,” Killian corrected with his jaw clenching, despising the doctor’s condescending tone. “She’s more than my girlfriend. She’s my true love.”

“Doesn’t change a thing. Unless you feel like helping her give birth yourself, I will need to see her.”

Looking daggers at him, Killian relaxed only when he felt Emma’s hand on his shoulder.

“Killian, it’s alright,” she reassured him.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay? Will you be comfortable enough?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

Killian nodded and the conversation resumed.

* * *

 

A few days later, they were having lunch when a bluish ball of light appeared out of nowhere and floated in front of Henry. Charming and Killian were fast to unsheathe their swords and stand by the boy’s side. But the ball didn’t move and a familiar voice came out of it.

“Henry,” said Regina’s voice. “I will come tomorrow. Do not worry, I won’t harm anyone. I just want to talk to you.”

The glowing ball vanished and they all looked at each other.

On the next day, they were ready to welcome the Evil Queen: as soon as sentinels spotted her outside the castle, Snow-White, Charming, Killian, Emma and Henry went to wait for her in the throne room.

“Remember,” Henry reminded them. “You must let me speak. That’s our best chance.”

“Are you still sure you want to do this, lad?” Killian asked.

“Yes.”

“Then, we won’t interfere,” Snow said.

She and her husband walked up the three steps and sat in the two thrones. Standing right in front of them, at the foot of the stairs, Emma and Killian were right behind Henry. All were waiting in silence. At last, the doors opened and Regina, surrounded by two guards, entered the room.

“What the hell?” Emma asked when she saw her.

The Evil Queen didn’t look like usual: instead of a dark dress, she was wearing a red dress with a touch of silver and her long black hair was down, which was making her look shorter and less threatening.

Looking irritated by the two guards walking by her side, Regina heard Emma’s comment and cast her a despising look.

“Do you prefer my usual style?”

A cloud of purple smoke hid her from view and, when she reappeared, she was dressed like she had been on the first time she had met Emma.

The sight tied her stomach into a knot. “No, it was fine as it was.”

Regina changed back into the red dress and glared at them. “I seem to recall mentioning I only wanted to talk to Henry. Not to summon the royal council.”

“We’re not leaving him alone with you.”

Henry took one step forward. “I will talk to you. But I’ll repeat to them everything you tell me anyway, so you may as well speak in front of them.”

“Henry…”

“You said you would not harm anyone. Is it true?” the boy asked.

“Yes.”

Henry glanced back at Emma who nodded, feeling that the Evil Queen was not lying and currently meant no harm. He addressed Regina again. “What is it that you want?”

“You. I want you to come back home. I want us to be a family again.”

“My home is right here, with my family.”

“I’m your mother!”

Judging her tone as more threatening, Killian automatically placed his hand on Henry’s shoulder and pulled him back against him.

“Killian, that’s fine,” the boy reassured. “She won’t hurt me.”

The pirate unwillingly loosened his grip but still kept his hand on his shoulder.

“Emma is my mother,” Henry replied to Regina.

“She gave you up. I was the one to take care of you all these years.”

“She had her reasons. She wanted to give me my best chance.”

“So did I! Henry, all I did was for you. To make the kingdom as great as it can be for when you reach the age of becoming king.”

“You didn’t need to bother. I am not interested in being a king.”

“Henry. I want you to come back. You will be safe. I’ve never treated you badly and I never will.”

“But you’ve always treated everyone else badly,” the boy retorted. “Even when I told you to stop. You’re making everyone suffer, even those I love most. How could you do this to Emma and Killian? How could you pretend to be someone else and keep them apart for weeks?”

“They took you away from me!”

“I’m the one who left.”

“I need you to come back.”

“Why?” Henry asked.

“Because I want to change and I need you for that. Without you, I have no reason to become a better person. I will be a villain and keep hurting everyone unless you come back.”

 “Enough!” Killian interrupted, stepping between them and hiding Henry behind him. This was too much for him. “Aren’t you ashamed, after all the wrong you’ve done, to come and blackmail a child like this?”

“This is a conversation between him and I.”

A muscle visibly tensing in his jaw, the pirate looked daggers at her.

“Killian…” Henry stood by his side to face Regina again. “I’m sorry, but I do not want to come with you. I want to be with Emma and Killian.”

Regina rolled her eyes. “I know. This is why they can all come with you.”

“Oh, so that’s what this is all about: an invitation! Should we expect to be accommodated in the dungeons?” Killian asked, earning another glare from the Evil Queen.

“For my son, I will do whatever it takes.”

“He does _not_ love you,” Killian said slowly while stepping forward, only leaving a short distance between him and the Evil Queen. “No one ever will. Even when you’re hidden under someone else’s appearance, you are unlovable: I spent weeks trying, and it didn’t work. You are alone and unloved, and you will always be.”

Again, Regina glared at him with gritted teeth, and threateningly lifted her hand, obviously ready to light up a fireball.

“Go on,” Killian said defiantly. “Show him how easily you can get out of control.”

“Stop!” Emma intervened. “No harm needs to be done. Regina, are you really inviting us all to live at your castle?”

“Yes.”

“But we can’t leave our castle and our people,” Snow took part in the conversation.

“You can get your crown back,” Regina said.

Emma’s mouth fell slightly open. “You’d give up your crown?”

“I just want to be with Henry.”

“And we’re supposed to believe you?” Killian asked. “Because your outfit making you less threatening doesn’t mean you’re not still that same monster inside. What says we can trust you?”

“Nothing. You’ll have to choose whether you can or cannot by yourself.”

“And I choose not to.”

“Killian…” Emma softly took his hand and stood by his side. “Regina, you had Henry before, and you were evil. Why would having him now make you a better person? What changed?”

It was obvious that not glaring at Emma was costing her a lot, but her voice was calm and steady when she answered. “Lately, I realized that love could be enough. Henry is all I need.”

“How did you realize that?” Henry asked.

Emma caught her glancing at Killian and frowned.

“I had a reminder of what it was like to be loved and…”

“You fell in love with him,” Emma interrupted, her gaze shifting between her and Killian.

“But I did not love you,” he completed. “Never.”

“You pretended to,” Regina retorted.

“Alright,” Charming intervened. “Where does this all lead us?”

Henry turned around to face him. “I’m ready to give her a second chance.”

“Lad…”

“Henry, you can’t do that,” Charming said.

“Actually, I think he can,” said Snow. “David, don’t you think this is the right thing to do?”

“I agree,” Emma added and turned to Regina. “We should give you a second chance.”

“Emma!” Killian pulled her to him. “How can you consider giving that monster a second chance, after everything she did to us? To your parents? Because of her, you grew up without them.”

“I know.” She pulled him aside, far enough from the others to be out of earshot. “Killian, look. She’s not lying, I can feel it. She really means it when she says she wants to change. If Henry is ready to give her a second chance, I think that’s what we should do. Imagine if it works. Imagine she truly finds a way to redemption.”

“Imagine she doesn’t.”

“Then, we will have tried. All I’m saying is that not giving her a second chance would only send her back into the darkness. For once, she’s willing to be a good person, or at least a better one, and I think she needs to be encouraged.”

“You’re saying you’re ready to forgive everything she did to you. To us. To your family.”

“What she did is in the past,” Emma said. “All I care about is our future. Our family. You and I, Henry and the baby. If there’s a chance for her to be good and let us live in peace, I want to take it.”

Killian sighed and Emma guessed she had convinced him. “If that’s what you want, I’m with you, love.”

Emma quickly kissed his lips and walked back to Regina.

“I have another offer,” she said while glancing at her parents, checking they were not showing any sign of disapproval. “If all you want is to be with Henry, why wouldn’t you come to live here?”

Charming didn’t seem to enjoy the idea. Snow looked much more supportive. But Regina laughed.

“I am not coming to live here.”

“Why not?” Killian asked defiantly. “You said you were ready to give up your crown.”

“I am not coming to live here,” she repeated.

“Which means you’re not ready to do _anything_ for the boy, unlike you said,” the pirate pointed out. “Which makes me think that all of this is a lie. Prove us you want to change.”

“Don’t you think the way I’m proceeding proves it? I could have come back from New York with Henry. I saw him in Central Park, I could have come back to my castle with him.”

“You mean you could have kidnapped him. Best way to lose him forever,” Killian commented.

“I know. This is why I didn’t do it.”

“I’m still not convinced.”

“And what do you need, pirate? Do you want me to erase all your memories?”

“So that I would forget what a monster you are? Definitely not.”

“I don’t want to forget either,” added Emma. “Everything we’ve been through led us to where we are. Every experience matters.”

Regina rolled her eyes. “Fine. I cannot undo all my evil deeds but there is one of them I can undo. I had enchanted a sword so that it could go through flesh and bones. Killian, that sword is the one that took out your hand.”

Emma saw her make a move of the hand and the next thing she heard was Killian’s gasp. Her mouth fell slightly open when she saw his hook had been replaced by a hand which he was comparing with his other one.

“Killian…” she called in a low voice before slipping her hands up his palms and intertwining their fingers.

Henry took advantage of their momentary distraction to speak again. “Alright, if it’s me that you want, I’ll spend some time with you.”

“Lad,” Killian interrupted, but Emma stopped him and they both watched Henry, who went on.

“But you have to stop hurting the ones I love. Promise me you will never hurt anyone again.”

“I wish I could make this promise to you, but I can’t,” Regina said. “What I can promise you is that I’ll try to be better. For you.”

“If you can’t promise me you will never hurt Emma and Killian, or my grandparents, then I can’t give you a second chance.”

“I won’t hurt them again. All I want is redemption. I just want to be with you.”

“If you truly love me, you will let me come only when I want to, and spend the rest of my time with Emma and Killian,” the boy negotiated. “Tomorrow, I can spend the day with you. You can apparate here and…”

“Apparate?” Regina repeated.

“Teleport here in a cloud of smoke,” he clarified. “You can take me back with you. And bring me back. We could go horseriding.”

“Just one day?”

“For now,” Henry said. “Then, if it goes well, we’ll see what we do next.”

“Tomorrow at dawn, I will come.” She didn’t wait for any answer and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

“You’ve done great, Henry!” Charming congratulated.

“Aye, good job, lad! You handled that like a real captain!”

A bright smile lit up the boy’s features.

“Killian, how do you feel?” Emma asked, playing with his fingers and caressing the back of his hands with her thumbs.

“I’m great. I can finally feel something with my left hand.” He slipped his hands up her arms, up her neck, and cupped her face. “If you knew how many times I wished I could hold you like this!”

Her hands covered his own and she kissed his palm before playing with his fingers.

* * *

 

Emma and Snow had managed to convince her men that giving Regina a second chance was the best thing to do. Her visit dated from the start of the week. Henry had spent two days with her and she seemed to behave, letting the royal family hope that she truly was on the way to redemption.

Snow and Charming were still getting to know their daughter, Killian and Henry, and it was not rare for them to spend afternoons or evenings talking by the fire or playing games. Liam and Ariel were also visiting them from time to time.

When Henry saw that Emma was spending some time with her mother, he went to see Killian. He knew where to find him: when the pirate was on his own, he was usually in his room or in the library. On that afternoon, he was on the balcony of the library, obviously lost in thoughts and, by the look on his face, it appeared these thoughts were not joyful. It was not the first time: on the evening following Regina’s visit, Henry had already found him absent-mindedly looking through the window. Seeing the Evil Queen had rekindled his memories from New York and, with them, his guilt.

“Killian?” The boy called as he stepped outside.

Every hint of trouble disappeared from his features and he faked a smile. “Hey! Here for some more sword fighting?”

“No, that’s not why I’m here.” Thinking it could actually help cheer him up, Henry changed his mind. “But we can sword-fight if you want to!”

“You’re a tough lad, but we’ve done enough today, you need to get some rest,” Killian teased while playfully nudging the boy’s shoulder. His smile was genuine now. “What’s bringing you here? Do you fancy playing a game?”

“Not now. I wanted to ask you something.” Henry looked Killian in the eye, looking for the confirmation that he was ready to hear his question. When the man nodded encouragingly, the boy went on, “When will you propose to mum?”

“Ah!” His smile faded when he looked away to gaze at the ocean. “I can’t, right now. I need to wait.”

“Why?” The boy asked but the man said nothing and kept staring at the horizon. “Are you still feeling guilty? Is it because of that?”

“You’re quite perceptive.”

“And I’m sorry to say that but you’re quite stubborn. I told you that you shouldn’t feel like that. Everyone told you. I thought you were alright, now. I thought you had forgiven yourself.”

“It’s not that easy,” Killian said, finally tearing his gaze away from the ocean. “There’s still a part of me feeling responsible for what I’ve done.”

“Mum has forgiven you. Actually, she’s never blamed you. I’ve been with her the entire time in New York. She’s never blamed you, because she knew it wasn’t your fault. You should know that too.”

“I know, Henry. You’ve told me all of that already. Just give me some more time. The fact she forgives me doesn’t change the fact that I’ve hurt her, and you.”

The boy sighed as they had already had this conversation: there was nothing new in what Killian was saying, and Henry didn’t know what else to say. In his turn, he looked at the horizon.

“I need some time to be sure I deserve her,” Killian added.

This was new and the boy instantly turned to the man. “You do deserve her! What happened doesn’t change anything, it wasn’t your fault!” His voice was much softer and lower when he added, looking Killian in the eye, “What happened doesn’t change the fact that you’re still the best dad I could ever dream of. And the baby will be very lucky, because she will have you from the start.”

Killian lightly shook his head in disbelief before tossing an arm around him and pulling him into a hug.

“You’re an amazing lad, do you know that?”

The boy looked up with a bright smile. “Like father, like son.”

“Let’s go back inside, I’m not letting you catch a cold because of me.”

They went back inside and settled down in one of the couches.

“When you talked about the baby, you said _she_ would have me from the start,” Killian resumed the conversation. “What makes you think we need to say ‘she’?”

“I’d love to have a baby sister.”

“Your mum has a preference for a boy.”

“I know. She said she wanted the baby to be a mini-Killian,” Henry said, amused by the idea.

“Did she say that?” He asked with a chuckle. “A mini-Killian?”

“Yes. But I’m sure you’d love a mini version of mum, right?”

“Whether it’s a boy or a girl, I’ll be the happiest of all the men.”

Henry looked down and Killian tilted his head on the side, feeling that something was bothering him.

“What is it, lad?”

“If it’s a boy…” Hesitating to go any further, the boy looked up. “Does that mean I won’t be your boy anymore?”

Killian lightly frowned. “What do you mean?”

Henry looked down again and played with his hands. “I’m not truly your son. But the baby will be.”

“Henry…” It took Killian a few seconds; he had never imagined the boy could feel like this. Shifting closer to him, he cupped his chin and made him look up. “You will always be my boy, nothing can ever change that. No matter whether it’s a boy or a girl, there is no way this baby could ever replace you. There is enough place in my heart for both of you.” Looking Henry in the eye, Killian could see he didn’t dare to believe. He looked for another way to put it into words. “I may not be your birth father, but I’ve chosen you; I’ve chosen to treat you as my son since the first moment when you walked aboard the Jolly Roger. And the baby won’t ever change that. Even if it’s a boy, it won’t make me love you less.”

Henry keenly closed the distance between them and hugged Killian. “You really are the best.”

“Is this why you’re saying you’d prefer a baby sister? Because you were worried a baby boy would sort of replace you?”

Keeping his arms around the man, he looked up at him. “Maybe it helped me decide. But I’d really love to have a baby sister. This way, I would have a little princess to protect, like you with mum. I could teach her many things!” Henry became thoughtful before adding, “But surely I could do that with a baby brother too.”

“I can already tell you will be an amazing big brother!” Killian playfully ruffled his hair and offered, indicating the chessboard on the coffee table, “Do you want to play chess?”

“Yes!” Henry replied cheerfully. “And this time, I’m going to win!”

Killian chuckled and cast him a defiant look. “We’ll see about that!”


	11. Morning Craving

Emma opened her eyes. The feeble light let her guess that it was still early in the morning. A smile lit up her face as she became aware of Killian who was sleeping right behind her, of his chest against her back, and of his arm around her. He had been holding her like this at night for months, but there hadn’t been a single morning when it had failed to make her smile. His hand was under hers, on the baby bump which was now rather prominent: it was the end of February and Emma was twenty-two weeks pregnant.

Deciding that it was too early to be awake, she softly rearranged her pillow and closed her eyes again, but her moves had been enough to rouse Killian.

“You alright, love?” he mumbled sleepily.

“Yes. Sorry for waking you up.”

“No need to apologize for this.”

He tenderly tightened his embrace and intertwined his legs with hers some more, before lightly kissing her shoulder. If she hadn’t done anything, he would have let himself fall asleep again, which was also what she had intended to do, but the touch of his lips made her change her mind: she turned around and kissed him. Both with their heads on their pillows, they were silently gazing and smiling at each other. While looking at him, her thoughts drifted and she thought of chocolate. She recalled the chocolate sponge cake they had eaten on the previous evening, and remembered there were some leftovers. They were appealing but she didn’t feel like going to the kitchen so early. She knew Killian would not hesitate and would go and get some for her if she asked him, but she was not sure she wanted him to leave this bed where he was keeping her so warm.

Reading her, his lips stretched into a lopsided smile. “You’re giving me your craving look. What is it that you want?”

“My craving look?” she repeated.

“Yes. This look meaning you’re craving something right now, undoubtedly some kind of dessert, and you’re wondering whether you should ask me to get it for you, because it means you’ll need to do without my devilishly handsome self for a few minutes. Unless you get out of this bed and come with me, which is unlikely considering the early time,” he explained teasingly, making Emma giggle. “Am I wrong?”

“Nope,” she admitted before kissing him and smiling against his lips. “Can you get me some of this chocolate sponge cake we had yesterday?"

He chuckled when he heard her request. “Again?”

“The baby’s asking, it’s not me.” She bit her lip to stop herself from grinning.

A laugh escaped him. “Of course.”

Knowing he didn’t believe her and he was right not to, she was hardly repressing a laugh when she admitted, “Alright, it’s me. But let’s get one for the baby as well. Bring me two portions.”

She didn’t take her eyes off him and watched him leave the bed. He put his bathrobe on and she heard him chuckle when he left the room.

When he came back, a tender smile tugged at his lips as he found Emma asleep. She had traded her pillow for his own and looked peaceful. Months earlier, the only way for her to sleep so peacefully, without travelling to Netherworld, would have been to be in Killian’s arms. But since they had come back from New York, they had noticed she didn’t have these nightmares anymore, even when she was falling asleep alone. They had always assumed that true love being the key to break any curse was the reason why Killian’s embrace was able to counter the side effects of the sleeping curse, and thus had come up with the theory that carrying their baby, the product of true love, had the same power as Killian’s embrace.

Emma obviously didn’t hear him come back and Killian quietly walked to the bed. With a crooked smile on his lips, he playfully waved the plate in front of her. Her mouth quirked at the corners as she breathed in.

“Yum, chocolate,” she whispered.

Chuckling, he left the plate close to her and went back to lay behind her.

“You’re adorable,” he said before kissing her cheek.

“Thank you.” She took the plate and shifted to be back against him, but didn’t reach his chest and frowned as she looked back at him. “Get back under the quilt. And why are you still wearing this?”

Her imperative tone made him laugh. “Your wish is my command, Captain Swan.”

Repressing a smile, she indicated him the cake. “Do you want some?”

“Wow, are you saying you would share your chocolate with me?” he asked while removing his bathrobe. “Consider me flattered.”

“You better feel flattered. I usually don’t share my chocolate with anyone. But if you’re not interested, I might keep it all for myself and the baby.”

“Keep it. I actually took three portions, and ate one on the way back here. Now, I’m just wondering,” he smirked while getting back under the quilt and shifting closer to her, “What do you choose between chocolate and your devilishly handsome pirate?”

She was eating a piece of cake when he wrapped her in his arms.

“Killian,” she tried to stop him.

He chuckled. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

“No, I meant…” She trailed off as he tightened his embrace. “I’m choosing to have both.”

She turned around and kissed him.

When the chocolate cake caught her interest again, they sat up and settled down comfortably, gathering all the pillows behind them. Killian had an arm around her shoulders and a hand on the baby bump while she was eating, carefully holding the plate to collect the crumbs. She was close to finishing the second portion when she felt it. A muffled sound of surprise escaped her. Her mouth still full, she hurryingly put the plate down on the bedside table.

“Did you feel it?” Killian asked, thrilled. His eyes were sparkling with joy.

Emma nodded and quickly swallowed her mouthful. “You felt it too! That’s the first time I feel our baby kick like this!”

“I felt the kick right under my hand.”

Beaming, she let her lips crash against Killian’s. When she pulled away, she furtively went back to his lips as she spotted a speck of chocolate she had left there.

“Chocolate,” she said in response to his inquiring look.

She shifted her attention back to their baby and placed her two hands on the bump. Killian imitated her and softly moved his hands over it, hoping to feel another kick.

“I’ve just felt another one!” Emma said.

“Where was it?”

“Right here, under my left hand.”

“It’s not hurting you, right?”

“Not at all,” she reassured him.

“Do you think the baby can hear us?”

“I think it can.”

Killian moved to be at the level of the baby bump which he was softly holding between his hands. “Ahoy little one! Daddy is very impatient to meet you!”

“So is mum!” she added before watching him with a dreamy look as he kissed the bump.

At this moment, they felt a series of other kicks. Both were over the moon.

“Did you feel that one?” Killian asked.

“I felt another one right here!”

“Look!”

Killian pointed a tiny hand visible at the surface of the bump. He softly pressed a fingertip against it and it disappeared.

“Over here!”

The tiny hand had reappeared and it was Emma’s turn to make it disappear. The two of them were ecstatic, watching the bump in search of any move. The tiny hand made its appearance again, and Killian was the one to brush the surface of the bump with his thumb.

“Love, look! It’s staying here!” Killian pressed his lips over the hand which still remained there.

“There’s the other hand!”

The two tiny hands were visible. Killian kissed the second hand while Emma caressed the first one.

“That’s adorable,” he commented.

“Yes. We’ll need a name for the baby, do you have any idea already?”

“Nope. Do you?”

Emma lightly bit her lip. “I was thinking of Killian Junior.”

“Killian Junior?” he repeated, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes. What do you think?”

“I think that…” He trailed off and went to kiss her cheek before whispering in her ear, “The baby is lucky to have a few more months to spend inside you. Time for us to come up with a better name.”

“But there’s no better name than yours.”

He looked at her with a crooked smile and a raised eyebrow. “The baby might be a girl anyway.”

“Another kick!”

This was enough to make them forget their conversation about a possible baby’s name. Killian went back to the bump and lightly pressed the side of his head against it, his face toward Emma. He took her hand to play with her fingers and placed his other hand on the lower side of the bump. Overwhelmed with tenderness because of their baby, they waited for other kicks but there was none.

“There’s a gurgling sound inside,” Killian chuckled. He didn’t take his eyes off her while listening to her stomach. Caressing the bump, he took her hand to his lips to kiss her knuckles. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Emma was melting at the view. She was gazing at him, at his bright blue eyes and at her fingers against his lips. His head was lying over her so lightly that she was barely feeling its weight. All she could feel was the tickling touch of his hair and stubble, and his caresses on the lower side of her bump. She bit her lip as her thoughts drifted. As usual, they didn’t need words: he read her like an open book and a lopsided smile made its way to his lips.

“Start the communion,” he said while intertwining his fingers with hers.

Communion was how they had taken to call this connection established between them thanks to her magic. On the first evening that they had spent at the castle after their return from New York, she had managed to share her feelings with him: her flaring hands had been on his arms and it had been enough. Since that day, they had been working on this connection. At first, they had wondered about the nature of what she could share with him: when she had tried to share her thoughts, he had only perceived the feelings associated with these thoughts. Months later, they had yet to find a way to share their thoughts, but feels and feelings could easily be shared. During the first weeks, Killian had been wishing it could be a two-way communication, because he was finding it unfair that she couldn’t benefit from these additional feels. One night, while working on it, they had finally found a way to make it reciprocal: the key was to hold hands. At last, Emma had understood what Killian had been talking about when describing the connection; she had discovered what it felt like to get her sensitivity extended not only to her body, but to Killian’s as well, as if they were one. Feels and feelings were strongly increased because, beside getting the feels she would normally get, she was also getting his own. They were increased to the point that their next challenge had been to maintain the connection: taken by surprise on the first time when it had worked, Emma had suddenly felt so overwhelmed that she had let go of his hand. Since then, she had improved, but feels still often happened to be strong enough to make her lose control of her magic.

* * *

 

In the next days, the baby’s kicks constituted the main attraction. The couple spent time looking for tiny hands and feet at the surface of the bump. Emma also shared this with her son and her parents. They noticed that desserts never failed to trigger a few kicks.

“I remember when I was pregnant,” Snow recalled, “It was the same with you.”

“Really?” her daughter asked.

“Yes. Every dessert I had was followed by some kicks from you.”

“Not even born and already a fan of chocolate,” Killian chuckled.

“But it was not only chocolate,” Snow added. “David, do you remember that royal ball?”

“How could I forget?”

“Your father and I were about to dance. When the music started, you kicked. I felt you pressing your hands against me, or maybe it was your feet, during the whole dance.”

“As if you were listening to the music,” Charming added.

“That’s why you’re a natural,” Killian said proudly while tossing an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into a hug. “Already dancing before you were even born.”

“I wonder if our baby would enjoy the music.”

“The equinox ball is coming in just a few weeks,” her father reminded her. “It will be the occasion to see if the baby reacts.”

* * *

 

“You’re here!” Emma said when she found Killian in the library, one afternoon.

“I am!”

Sitting at the desk, he put down the quill and flashed her a smile when he looked up.

“What are you doing?” she inquired.

He quickly rolled up the parchment before standing up and closing the distance between them.

“Nothing interesting. How is my princess?”

“I’m fine.” She tried to look at the parchment roll over his shoulder but could see nothing. “What is this?”

“You don’t need to know,” he answered with a teasing smile.

“Oh, being mysterious I see.”

“Perhaps.”

Lightly biting her lip, she gazed at him. He had tickled her curiosity and looked proud of it, and looking proud was going with his cocky grin and raised eyebrow which she found irresistible. She needed to shake her head to pull herself together.

“I thought you were with my father?”

“I was. He left not a long time ago. But speaking of him, I have a question for you,” he announced while trailing his hands down her arms and intertwining their fingers. “Would you trust me and your father to completely take care of the baby’s room?”

Momentarily forgetting the parchment roll, a bright smile lit up her face. “You want to do that?”

“Aye. That’s actually what the parchment roll is about. Told you it was not interesting,” he said with a smirk when she glanced over his shoulder. “What do you say, love? Would you agree? Knowing that ‘completely take care’ means that you don’t have to worry about it at all. Which means that you’re not allowed to see the room until it’s ready.”

“Not allowed to see the room? Why?”

Again, he looked very proud of himself and she could barely take her eyes off his teasing smile.

“Would you agree?” he repeated.

“Why couldn’t I see the room?”

“Because you would think about it and that would be one more worry for you. I don’t want that,” he answered innocently, as if he had not been teasing her since the beginning of this conversation. “You are already busy enough being our baby’s home. Consider this a surprise.” The teasing smile made its appearance again. “Now, the question is: do you trust me and your father?”

“Should I?”

“Do you?” he asked with a smirk.

Deciding to play his teasing game, she pretended to think about it while playing with his fingers.

“My father, I do trust. But you, I don’t know. Preparing a room is a delicate task.” She looked up through her eyelashes. “Should I trust a man who only recently got his hand back, for this?”

“My two hands, as well as every other part of me, are working just fine,” he announced while getting closer to her. His voice was just a whisper in her ear when he added, “Perhaps, before you give me your approval, a check-up is needed to support my claim?”

“Exactly what I was about to suggest,” she managed to articulate.

“Now?” he murmured in her ear.

She looked at the door and mentally ordered it to close itself before glancing at the couch. “Now.”

 


	12. Equinox

With a bright smile on her lips, Emma was leaning against the wall right beside the door, and listening carefully. She could hear Killian and her father inside the future baby’s room. As she had expected, she soon heard footsteps coming closer and the man she loved appeared. Before he had time to realize, she was in his arms, and she giggled as a sound of surprise muffled by her lips escaped him.

“I didn’t expect to reunite with you so soon.” It was needless to precise that the surprise was pleasant.

“My lips missed yours.”

“How long have you been waiting here?” he inquired while closing the door behind him.

“Not long. I knew you were about to come out, you’re never late for me. Can I see the room?”

“No,” he answered teasingly.

Emma had guessed this would be his answer; she had kept asking and he had kept denying her request. He and her father had been preparing the baby’s room, which was adjacent to hers. They were sometimes joined by Henry, when he was not at the school of the village or spending the day with Regina, who had caused no wrong since their return from New York. Though curious about what the room looked like, Emma loved the fact that he was taking care of it with her father and her son, and that he insisted on keeping it a surprise, frequently reminding her that she was already the current baby’s home and that she needn’t worry about the next one. Out of solidarity with her, Snow had never seen the room either and, while the men were in the room, mother and daughter were usually spending some time together, sharing stories of their pasts and learning to know each other some more.

“Preparing the baby’s room seems to be quite fun,” Emma commented. “I could hear you both laughing when I walked by the door.”

“Your father and I get on well,” Killian said with a crooked smile.

“I love the fact that you do.”

“And I love you.” Wrapping her in his arms, he kissed her cheek. “You have a ball to attend; isn’t it time for you to get ready?”

On the upcoming evening would happen the Equinox Ball, celebrating the end of the winter, but they still had hours ahead of them.

“You know I don’t need much time.”

“I know. I guess I’m just very eager to dance with you again.”

Her smile widened and she took his hand. “Come.”

Since they had agreed they didn’t need to get ready separately, they both went to their bedroom.

“Which dress will you impress me with, tonight?” he inquired once they were standing in front of the wardrobe.

“I actually haven’t picked one yet. How about you choose for me?”

“Alright.” He thoughtfully scoped the content of the wardrobe. “These ones are those which fit you with the baby bump, right?”

“Yes. You have a preference for the red one, I guess?”

“Actually, no. I was thinking of a blue one. I don’t usually see you in blue and…” He looked through the different dresses and stopped on one of them. “I think you would make this dress look sublime.”

He took out of the wardrobe a dark blue dress with silver glitters covering the seam right under the chest and along the neckline, and with a loose floor-length skirt.

“You still refuse to see that it is the dress which will make me beautiful, and not the other way around.”

“Aye,” he said proudly.

Moments later, Killian was zipping up her dress.

“Are you feeling comfortable enough in this? Isn’t it too tight for you and the baby?”

“It’s stretchy material. The baby and I are all fine,” she reassured.

Killian had changed too and was wearing an outfit alike the one he had been wearing at the previous ball, with a dark red velvet vest and a black leather coat whose collar was inlaid with beads and bordered with red velvet.

Emma was braiding her hair when she looked up and saw Killian’s reflection in the mirror. Leaning against the door frame, he was attentively watching her.

“Me getting ready looks captivating,” she commented teasingly.

“The way you’re putting these strands of hair together is fascinating.”

He didn’t add anything and kept silently admiring her.

At last, it was time for them to go down to the ballroom. With Henry and her parents, they welcomed the guests. All the inhabitants of the island were invited and, though Emma knew nobody, all of them knew her and greeted her with a reverence which amazed her. She was already aware of the love of her family for the baby, but all the congratulations she received showed her that the future little prince or princess was already cherished by more people than she knew. Liam and Ariel were also present, freshly coming back from another underwater expedition.

“This is even better than usual,” Killian told Emma when they started to waltz.

“Why?”

“Our hands.”

She looked at her hand in his own and, at first, nothing looked unusual to her. But then, she realized that it was the first time they were dancing at a ball since he had got his hand back.

“I now have two hands to lead you. I can finally hold you properly.”

“You never did it wrong before.”

“But I can do even better now. There are even moves I never dared to try because of the hook, and I won’t try them as long as you’re carrying our baby, but someday, I will.”

“What kind of moves?”

“The kind that’ll make you feel like you’re flying.”

As often happened when they were dancing, she got lost in his eyes. She was following his lead without even thinking about it. The orchestra played scores one after the other and they didn’t stop dancing.

It was soon after a new music had started that Emma was suddenly pulled out of her thoughts. Noticing her change of expression, Killian inquiringly tilted his head on the side.

“The baby’s just kicked,” she announced with a bright smile.

Keeping his hand in her back, Killian wrapped her arms around his neck and placed his spare hand on the baby bump. His smile widened when he felt a light punch. A series of other kicks and moves followed and Emma giggled.

“It keeps moving and punching me. It even feels like it’s rolling or something.”

“The baby is just like you. Enjoying the music, like your mother said the other day.”

“That must be it. The baby’s having fun and dancing too.”

The numerous moves made them slow down and turned their dance into a simple swaying. Her arms still around his neck and her forehead against his own, she was standing as close to Killian as the baby bump allowed her to. Both were focused on the little being who kept kicking and fidgeting.

“Three more months of this and, then, our baby will discover our world,” Emma said in a low voice.

“As much as I love feeling these kicks, I can’t even tell how eager I am to finally meet our little royal pirate.”

“Our little royal pirate,” she repeated dreamily before opening her eyes to gaze at him. “I can’t wait to see you holding our son or daughter. You’re going to be an amazing father.”

“We’ll see about that,” he said with a crooked smile she could only describe as adorable.

“I’m right,” she insisted and glanced around before he had time to answer. “How about we go and take a look at the buffet?”

“I’m surprised you didn’t ask sooner,” he chuckled and led her out of the dancefloor.

Over the past months, her appetite had grown and Killian was amazed by how much she could eat and how barely visible it was. They first headed to the savory buffet but Emma was soon appealed by the desserts. The baby had calmed down and was only giving a few occasional kicks.

“Can I have a dance with my daughter?” Charming joined them at the buffet and held out his hand to Emma. “It doesn’t have to be right now if you’re more attracted to these delicious chocolate cakes, which I would understand.”

The three of them laughed. Killian and Emma meaningfully glanced at each other, silently agreeing on the fact they would spend a few minutes apart, before she slipped her hand in her father’s.

It was the first time she was dancing with him. It was actually the first time she was dancing with anyone else than Killian, and it took her a few moves before getting used to another lead.

“For years, I’ve been dreaming that, one day, I would get the chance to dance with my daughter. This day has finally come and it’s even better than what I had imagined,” he said before making her turn. He pulled her closer again and added, “I know I don’t say this very often, Emma, but I am so proud of you. Being able to call you my daughter must be my biggest pride.”

Moved by his words, she lightly bit her lip. “I don’t even know what to answer to this.”

“I know,” he said with a crooked smile. “That’s why I’m only rarely saying it. You and I are the same on this point; we never know how to answer compliments. But I wanted to make sure you knew.”

The slight awkwardness vanished and her smile became genuine. “Thank you.”

“I’m far from being the only one. I guess you noticed the way the guests treated you. I was talking to some of them while you were dancing with Killian, and they are proud to have you as their princess. They also all look forward to meet the future prince or princess.”

“I noticed. It looks like our baby is so loved already!”

“It is. Royal babies are usually cherished, and the fact you’ve been the lost princess for so long made your baby undreamt of. Which makes the little one you’re carrying even more cherished.”

“Do you remember this conversation with you and mum, about her feeling me kick at a ball, as if I was enjoying the music from inside the womb?”

“Yes, I do!”

“The baby did the same to me. The orchestra started playing something new, and I felt many kicks and moves, as if the baby was sort of attending the ball too.”

“That’s adorable,” her father commented.

“I still wonder if it was triggered by the score played at this moment, or if the baby simply happened to wake up.”

“We will probably never know. But speaking of music, I feel like it’s time for you to go back to Killian,” he said, making her notice the score on which they were dancing was ending. “I might ask you for another dance later, may it be tonight or at another ball; I loved dancing with you.”

“I loved it too. We can dance again whenever you want.”

She quickly hugged her father and turned to the buffet. Killian was not there anymore. She glanced around the room and saw no sign of him. A couple came back from the balcony and she guessed he had to be there; walking away from the crowd and finding a quieter spot under the stars was exactly like him.

Making her way through the guests, she reached the high doors and went out. The balcony was a large semicircle bordering the ballroom on all its width. Blinking to try and distinguish something in the dark, she looked for a lone man, but she could only see five couples. She jumped with surprise when she heard a familiar chuckle and found Killian standing right next to her, leaning against the wall beside the door with his arms crossed and a crooked smile on his lips.

“Wow! Beware lurking pirates!”

His smile widened. “I love the fact that, after all this time, my presence still has the power to surprise you.”

“I’m not even surprised to find you here. I was actually looking for you.”

He raised a teasing eyebrow. “You did look surprised.”

“It’s just… I expected to find my devilishly handsome pirate not that close to the door. I was looking for you,” she insisted while taking his hands.

“And I was waiting for you. I know you well,” he said smugly. “I knew you’d come here.”

“Well, actually, I only came here because I knew _you_ ’d be here.”

“Perhaps I should have been more precise: I meant that I knew you would be looking for me, and I knew that, if I wasn’t inside, you would know I would be somewhere under the stars. And knowing that the ballroom is right on the other side of this door, and that I would not go too far away from you, you would know this place under the stars would be this balcony. But that was too long to say. All this knowledge could be summarized into, ‘I knew you’d come here.’ Because I know you well and I know how you think.”

Unable to repress a smile, she admitted, “Alright, point taken.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not sure I’ve heard that very well; what did you just say?”

“You’ve heard that very well.”

He chuckled and pulled her closer to capture her lips. Their fingers intertwined, he softly brushed the baby bump with the back of his hand.

“How is our little treasure?” he inquired. “Not afraid of lurking pirates, I hope?”

“No, our baby’s all fine. Probably a valiant little one like its father.”

“And like you,” Killian added. “Come.”

“Where are we going?”

“Not far,” he said while walking across the balcony. “Close to the door, there were just too many guests going in and out. And the view is better from here.”

Killian stopped close to the railing and, holding Emma back against him, wrapped her in his arms. Her eyes had grown accustomed to the dark and she realized the night was actually clear: besides the feeble light coming from the ballroom through the spaces between the windows and the curtains, the moonlight was bright enough to allow them to see. Casting its silvery reflection over the surface of the ocean, the moon was making the horizon delimitating the ocean and the sky visible, and was giving the few scattered clouds a silvery edge.

“The night is beautiful. The moon is so bright… it reminds me of the night of my birthday,” Emma commented.

“Aye. I don’t recall having spent some time admiring the sky with you since that night. Tonight is beautiful indeed.”

With his cheek pressed against hers, they silently admired the view.

Killian was the one to break the silence. “Equinox. Isn’t it funny, how it’s one of the only two times in the year when the night is as long as the day? What seems to be the perfect equilibrium happens only twice a year.”

She turned back to him. “What’s your point?”

“Need there be a point to everything I say?” he asked with a smirk.

“Usually, there is.”

“I was only thinking out loud but let’s see. In a way, disequilibrium is what we always tempt to avoid; lean too much and you will fall. Do not distribute your ballast evenly and your ship will sink. But yet, nature doesn’t bother and reaches equilibrium only twice a year. The rest of the year, it’s imbalanced – even if its disequilibrium is predictable; if I want to, I can calculate at what time the sun will rise in five weeks, for example.”

“I still don’t see where you’re going,” she commented and he chuckled.

“I’m not sure either, but I think I’m starting to see where this takes us. Day and night constitutes a predictable cycle, and nature always achieves equilibrium again because it has its own forces allowing it to do so. When it comes to us, however, we need to find the forces that we need to achieve equilibrium. Close your eyes and let me show you.”

She complied and crossed her arms over his own. Securely holding her against him, he slowly leant on one side.

“Vertical is an equilibrium, the position in which we are stable. The more we move from this position, the more gravity will impact on us and attract us towards the floor, and the harder it will be to stand upright again. If we lean more, we’ll fall. But that’s not what I want. We can go back to this position of equilibrium, and all it takes is some physical strength because vertical is a physical equilibrium.”

“How do you know all of this?”

“I’m still only thinking out loud, love. But you’d be surprised by what they teach us in the Royal Navy.”

She didn’t know why he was saying all of this but she knew that she loved listening to him. Doing her best to follow him, she summarized, “So, what you’re saying is that we’re fighting to keep balance and, in case of a disequilibrium, we need to find the strength to get back on our feet.”

“Exactly. But vertical is only an example of equilibrium. There are countless other ways to lose balance, more or less figuratively. In these cases, physical strength is not enough: to get back on our feet, we need other forces. For me, _you_ are this force.”

Emma opened wide eyes. He was so close to her that she only needed to turn her head to be face to face with him, with only a couple inches separating them. “How did this conversation turn out to be about me?”

“I was only thinking out loud and you asked me the point of what I was saying. What else than you could that point be, when my whole world revolves around you?” His words were enough to get her lost in his eyes. “This conversation about equilibrium and forces could only lead to you. You are my greatest strength. You’re here to catch me when I fall.”

She blinked. “What are you talking about?”

“I guess I’m trying to illustrate another one of the many reasons why I love you. Let’s talk about the sky for example,” he said while indicating it with a move of the head. “Whether it’s an equinox or a solstice, sun and stars alternate. There is not a moment when there is no light up in the sky. But sometimes, it looks like it, because clouds hide the sun and pollution hides the stars, just like it happened in New York. There, I almost got lost in the dark. But I didn’t, because I had you. When I say that you are my greatest strength, I mean that you are the one reminding me that the light is always here, even when I can’t see it.”

“But I can say the same thing about you. You saved me many times.”

“Well, perhaps can we say we’re each other’s strength?”

“I like the idea,” she approved. “It would be accurate.”

“We could even say that we are like day and night on an equinox, forming a perfect equilibrium.”

“We are an equinox,” she said in a hushed voice while looking at the reflection of the moon.

He kissed her cheek and, keeping their arms crossed over her stomach, she melted in his embrace.

“I want to make you a promise,” he announced.

“Hmm?”

“The promise that the starry sky will always be here, shining above us; the promise of a happy future: you and I, Henry and our little one, together. Can you promise me not to say anything?”

Confused, she turned to him once again. “I thought you were the one making a promise?”

“Can you promise me not to say anything?” he repeated with an amused smile.

“Yeah?”

A chuckle escaped him. “I’ll need you to be more convincing.”

“I don’t even know-”

“Trust me.”

These two words were enough. “Yes, I promise.”

He kissed her neck in a way which he knew would make her close her eyes and stretch her neck, making her turn towards the horizon again.

“Keep your eyes closed,” he whispered.

“They’re closed.” Becoming aware of nothing but Killian, she leant back against him. She thought of his previous speech about equilibrium and wondered out loud, “Are we going to defy gravity once again?”

“No,” he said while taking back his right hand. “I’m about to do something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, and equilibrium is preferable for this.”

She lightly frowned as she mused on these words. Curious about what he was doing, she was tempted to open her eyes, but she listened to him and didn’t. Leaning back against him and caressing his arm, she pricked up her ears but was unable to identify anything. She couldn’t see that he had just pulled a small box out of his pocket, and she also couldn’t guess that the popping she heard was the sound of it being opened.

Holding the small box in front of her, he whispered in her ear, “Open your eyes.”

She did and gazed at the box, and her breath caught as the moonlight revealed the ring. “Killian!”

“Shush, you promised,” he playfully reminded her.

His hand slipped along her arm and he took her hand to turn her and make her face him. In the meantime, he smoothly went down on bended knee. She had to put her hand over her mouth to stop herself from saying anything. It was happening. She had dreamt of this moment. She had been waiting for it for so long, and it was finally happening. He was looking up at her with a bright smile, holding the small box in his right hand. He kept his left hand within her reach and she didn’t let go of it. Biting her lip to remain silent, she was impatiently waiting for him to speak.

At last, after seconds which had seemed to linger, he asked, “Princess Emma Swan, my love, my happiness, the brightest light of my life; will you marry me?”

“Finally!”

With a crooked smile on his lips, he raised an inquiring eyebrow, “Does that mean-”

“Yes! Yes, of course yes! I love you!”

Seizing his hand, she pulled him back on his feet and threw herself in his arms to kiss him. When their lips pulled apart, he put the ring on her finger and admired her hand for a moment, before taking it to his mouth and softly kissing its back.

“Stars are shining in your eyes,” he said when he looked up and noticed the tears filling her eyes.

“Because you make me so happy.”

She bit her lip but it wasn’t enough to stop a tear from escaping her and rolling down her cheek. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed the tear away before shifting his lips to hers. It was like they were in their own world, losing track of time as they hugged and kissed. One hand in his hair and the other one pressed over his heart, she released some of her magic to be in communion with him and let him feel how she was feeling. His hand covered hers and a powerful wave of love and happiness and excitement washed over her as he sent her his own feels. Another tear rolled down her cheek. She couldn’t hold them back. Emotion was too strong. For months, she had expected him to propose to her. She had dreamt and daydreamt of a proposal, imagining various scenarios. She had even been on the lookout for it, but he had still managed to take her by surprise.

Holding hands and in each other’s embrace, in communion, they were swaying on the spot, unaware of anything but each other.

“I love you,” she whispered. “My fiancé.”

“My fiancée,” he repeated. “I love you at least as much.”

“We’re still on the balcony,” she pointed out. “I want to be with you and only you. When do you think it will be late enough to leave the ball and go back to our bedroom?”

“Not now, I’m afraid. I’d say we have time for a few more dances and… My love?” He looked up and she looked up as well. “Would you let me make an official announcement and tell everyone you’re my fiancée?”

Emma considered it for a second before answering, “Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Why not?”

“I know you don’t like being the center of attention.”

“And I know you would love to publicly announce that I now am your fiancée. I’m the princess; I already am the center of attention and they will know, anyway. And I am also quite proud to say that you are my fiancé, and I don’t want to have to wait before being able to call you this.”

Her words earned her another kiss before he led her back into the ballroom. The bright light made them blink but didn’t stop Killian from spotting the one he was looking for.

“I know someone who’s going to be delighted. Come.”

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“There’s someone we need to tell before making an official announcement.”

Holding her hand, he made his way through the couples dancing and led her to the buffet where he had spotted the boy.

“Lad!” Killian called.

Examining the desserts, Henry looked up. “Here you are! I wondered where you’d gone.”

Emma’s eyes shifted between the two of them, loving that her son was the first one Killian had thought of.

“We were outside, on the balcony, enjoying a splendid view and, lad…” He trailed off and looked down at Emma’s hand, drawing the boy’s attention to the ring on her finger.

A bright smile instantly lit up his features. “You did it!” He pounced on Killian and tightly hugged him. “We’ll officially be a family! You’ll officially be my dad!”

Amazed by the scene she was witnessing, Emma pointed out, “You knew.”

“Yes!” he confirmed excitedly. “I was with him when he first planned on proposing on your birthday.”

Emma instantly turned to Killian, and Henry stopped talking, looking at him as well and wondering if revealing this was fine. But the man didn’t seem to blame him for it and nodded once, letting him go on.

“He wanted to propose on your birthday but then, there were these lights in the sky and he decided to wait.” Again, the boy glanced at Killian. “He told me that it would officially make us a family. That he would officially be my dad. Well, he said it was actually stepdad, but I don’t care about the step.”

“We can skip the step,” Killian confirmed with a wink.

Henry tightly hugged him again and this time also included his mother in the hug.

“A family,” he said in a low voice while looking at the baby bump. When he stepped back, he was beaming. “When are you going to tell everyone that you’re getting married?”

“Soon,” Killian answered and Emma suddenly had butterflies in her stomach.

“Awesome!”

Emma and Killian went back to the dancefloor. With stars in her eyes, she followed his lead as they started dancing.

“All this time, he knew. Even in New York, he knew, and he said nothing.”

“I told him to keep it secret,” Killian admitted.

“And he did.” This complicity between him and her son was filling her with wonder. “The bond between the two of you is amazing.”

“I know. He’s an amazing lad.”

“He was so delighted when he saw the ring.”

“Us officially being a family matters a lot to him. He sees it, in a way, as a guarantee that he belongs here as much as anyone else.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that he considers me his father and I consider him my son, but we wouldn’t have any of this if it wasn’t for you. And now, he knows that the baby who is so loved already will soon join us, and will have me as its father from the start. Because of this, he could be afraid of being sort of left out – which I would never let happen. Officially being a family gives him the guarantee that this _won’t_ happen.”

“How do you know all of this?”

“It’s easy to imagine how he feels,” he answered evasively, unwilling to expand on how Henry had actually talked to him about it. “You don’t have to worry. Our boy is fine, I made sure of that.”

Trusting him, she didn’t question it. “We also need to tell my parents.”

“Your father already knows.”

She opened wide eyes. “He knows too?”

“Aye,” he confirmed with a proud smile. “I had the royal blessing to ask for your hand in marriage.”

“Do you think he told my mum?”

“He didn’t. We couldn’t let you be the only one out of the secret.”

“Liam and Ariel?”

“They don’t know either. Only Henry and your father know.”

Emma nodded and they kept dancing, silently losing themselves in each other’s eyes.

“Finally,” Killian said with a smirk.

“What?”

“That’s what you said,” he chuckled. “When I asked you. That was not the answer I was expecting.”

“It just came out. I didn’t control it.”

“Were you waiting for me to ask you?”

She lightly bit her lip. “I was hoping you would.”

“How long have you been thinking of it?”

“Since the day when you gave me your mother’s ring and said you were not proposing to me. For a second, I thought you were, and since then I’ve been thinking of it.” She looked at her hand on his shoulder, and at the ring on her finger. “Is that a pearl from the ocean?”

“Aye. I found the pearl with Henry when we spent the day outside, looking for some seashells.”

“Is that what you’re doing when you go out together? Looking for seashells?”

“Sometimes. That was during one of these secret expeditions which are part of Operation Baby’s Room,” he teased.

“You used seashells for the baby’s room?”

“You’ll see,” he answered teasingly, well aware that this was the first time he was giving her any indication about the room. “We found this pearl inside one of the seashells and thought we could combine it with some gold from the land to make a ring.”

Emma dreamily gazed at the ring. “Am I the gold from the land and you the pearl from the ocean?”

“Could be. But I’d say the comparison can’t stand.”

“Why?”

“Because, my love, though I’m flattered you’re comparing me to a pearl, you are much more precious than all the gold in the world.”

“Am I?” she asked with an amused smile she was unable to repress.

“Aye. You’re my princess. And my fiancée.”

She beamed, “And you’re mine.”

“And soon, everyone will know.” His eyes were sparkling with joy and excitement. “Can I make the announcement now?”

“Why would we wait any longer?”

Killian grinned and kissed her.

“How do you plan on catching everyone’s attention?” she asked.

“The orchestra. At first, I considered standing on a table, but I doubt that’s a royal thing to do. The stage will be enough.”

Emma spotted Snow and Ariel standing close to the stage and talking. “I’ll let you be the center of attention. I’ll be with my mother and Ariel.”

“As you wish.”

She joined the two women while Killian headed to the orchestra.

“Where are Liam and my father?” she asked.

“Over there,” the mermaid indicated the two men talking on the other side of the dancefloor. “Discussing men’s things probably.”

“Where’s Killian?” Snow inquired.

“He… He has something to say.” Crossing her arms to hide her ring, Emma indicated the stage on which Killian was talking to the conductor.

“Emma?” Snow asked suspiciously with a smile she was struggling to repress.

The fact that her mother looked down at her hand let her think that she had guessed, but she didn’t have time to say anything else: the music stopped and the silence made everyone face the orchestra.

“It worked even better than I thought,” Killian commented with a bright smile. “My apologies for interrupting your dance or whatever you were doing. I just have a very important announcement. In case anyone doesn’t know me, which I doubt, I’m Killian Jones. But I’m not here to talk about me. I’m here because I’d like everyone to raise a glass – at least those who have one, unlike me – to someone exceptional. You all know her: I’m talking about Princess Emma Swan. Emma is without any doubt the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. I am a fan of every part of her. She is beautiful inside and out, brave, smart, kind, funny, devoted and powerful. She never fails and is simply flawless.”

Watching her fiancé who seemed to feel comfortable, Emma could feel her cheeks burning because of all the eyes on her. She caught a glimpse of her father smiling at her and knew he had guessed what this was about.

“To all the men in the room,” Killian went on, “I understand you might be jealous of me because I’m the one she spends her days and nights with.”

“Killian,” Emma let out a light laugh and hid her face in her right hand, careful to keep her left hand hidden.

“Honestly, I would be jealous too,” he joked and laughs filled the room. He paused before becoming serious again. “I want you all to raise a glass to her because she is my true love and also, since tonight, my fiancée.”

“Aww, Emma!” Ariel said, echoing the general awe of the room and hugging her, while the guests were either clapping or raising their glasses.

Her mother was the next one to hug her. “My daughter is finally going to wear a bride’s dress.”

“I guess you’re not surprised?” Emma assessed.

“I expected it to happen. And when you said Killian had something to announce and I saw you hiding your hand, I knew it was happening now,” Snow said while admiring her daughter. Her eyes shining with tears, she hugged her again. “Aww Emma, I can tell you have a wonderful and bright future ahead of you.”

She let go of her daughter only when Killian joined them and handed her a glass.

“Killian, you know I can’t drink,” Emma reminded him.

“Love, of course I know,” he said with a bright smile. “It’s grapefruit juice. And I’m sharing your pain of having to wait three more months before feeling the taste of rum again.”

“You? Surviving three months without rum?” she teased him while taking her glass.

“Aye. For you, I’ll do it.” He raised his glass before saying, “To you, my fiancée.”

“To you, my fiancé,” she repeated, feeling like she would never get tired of calling him that.

Instead of drinking, their lips reunited and they became unaware of the cheers coming from all the guests, or of anything but each other.

 


	13. Birth

“Is there a rule to pick the baby’s name?”

“What do you mean?”

“How can we know if a name fits a baby?” Killian asked.

He was lying on the bed next to her and playing with her fingers while she was counting the baby’s moves – something she had got into the habit of doing on a daily basis, like the doctor had advised her to do weeks earlier.

“Do you have a name in mind?” Emma inquired.

“I was just thinking of this night when you magically became mine by accepting to be my fiancée-”

“As if I had any reason to refuse,” she interrupted with a soft voice. “I love being your fiancée.”

It had already been more than a month since the proposal, and they still both had stars in the eyes whenever they mentioned the word ‘fiancé.’ Killian shifted closer and kissed her.

“And I’ll love even more being Princess Emma Jones,” she whispered against his lips.

“It does have a nice ring to it,” he said with a crooked smile, looking her in the eye.

“What name were you thinking of?”

“Do you remember when we talked about equilibrium?”

“That was right before you proposed, of course I remember.” She examined him and bit her lip to stop herself from smiling. “You’re not about to say you want to name the baby Equilibrium, right?”

“No, not Equilibrium,” he chuckled. “I was thinking of Equinox, that’s a beautiful name.”

“Oh. Uh…”

“It evokes me a peaceful night under the stars.”

“Would that be if the baby’s a girl?”

“Could it be a name for a baby girl?” He examined her and laughed; her features were enough for him to assess, “It’s not a baby name at all.”

“I’m not sure.”

“That’s what I was talking about: what are the rules to know if a name can be a baby name or not?”

“I don’t think there are any rules. But Equinox…”

“Don’t you like it?” he inquired.

“I don’t know. I probably need to think about it. But right now… I don’t see myself naming our baby this. Equinox is when the night is as long as the day, and I know there are stars, but to me, night means darkness. This name would suggest the baby is half-light, half-dark, but we don’t want darkness to be involved.”

“Right.” He caught her look and guessed she was trying to judge if he was disappointed. “Everything’s fine, love. I’ve just said that on a whim.”

She looked him in the eye before breaking the silence. “If the baby’s a girl, I had another idea. I was thinking of Kaelyn?”

Killian raised his eyebrows. “My mother’s name?”

“Yes. You always speak well about her. And, without her, the devilishly handsome man lying next to me, who happens to be my baby’s daddy, wouldn’t exist. Just for that, she deserves that we pay tribute to her.”

“Said devilishly handsome man is head over heels in love with his fiancée.” He searched her eyes. “Do you really want to name the baby after my mother?”

“She had a beautiful name.”

He thought about the name itself and smirked. “Kaelyn, Killian… That sounds quite alike.”

Emma bit her lip and lifted her shoulders up in a way he found adorable. “Maybe that’s why I love it so much.”

He flashed her a crooked smile before becoming serious again, “Do you know it means ‘pure beauty’?”

She raised her eyebrows and her smile brightened. “I definitely love this name.”

“Then, I guess we can go for Kaelyn.”

“We can use Equinox as a middle name, you know?”

“What’s a middle name?” he inquired.

“An additional name.”

“What is it for?”

“I don’t know. I never understood the point.”

“Why would we give our baby a useless additional name?” he asked with a laugh.

“This way, Equinox could be used.”

“Forget about it, love. It was just an idea which crossed my mind when I looked at your ring.”

“Maybe I like it. But not as much as I love Kaelyn.”

“Couldn’t it work for a baby boy?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you have a name in mind for a boy?”

Emma repressed a laugh. “Killian Junior.”

Hearing this suggestion for the second time made him laugh. “No.”

“Do you have another idea?”

“No, but we have more than a month to come up with something else. We already discussed it, and we’re definitely not naming the baby after me.”

“But it’s my favorite name,” she whined and it made him laugh even more.

Killian made her topple on her back while kissing her. Partly lying over his fiancée, he gazed at her. “You’re the most adorable.”

“Say that again, before the baby steals this title from me,” she said playfully.

“You’re definitely the most adorable.” A crooked smile appeared on his lips before he added, “That is for now, indeed.”

* * *

 

“Love?” Killian called while knocking on the door.

Emma looked up from the game of checkers she had just started to play with her mother, and watched him entering the library and coming to her. Her father and Henry were waiting on the doorstep.

“The baby’s room is ready,” he answered her inquiring look.

He held out a hand which she took almost instantly.

“Does that mean I can finally see it?”

“Yes. Come.”

Snow, who hadn’t seen it either, got up from the couch as well, and the five of them headed to the baby’s room, located right beside Emma and Killian’s.

“Are you ready?” he asked her.

“Yes!” she said excitedly, delighted to finally be about to discover what the room looked like.

Killian pressed his hands over her eyes and lightly kissed her cheek before indicating the door to Henry, which he opened.

“Move forward,” he told Emma.

She complied, and he made her stop in the middle of the room, then uncovered her eyes to let her see.

“Killian…” She kept scanning the room before turning around, her mouth slightly open. “Dad, Henry… It’s amazing! And it’s perfect for both a girl or a boy.”

“With a room like this, the baby won’t have any trouble when we go sailing,” Killian said proudly. “The Jolly Roger will feel like home straight away.”

Emma could perfectly understand why he was saying this: she was standing in the middle of the room but was feeling like she was on deck; all around her, walls were painted like the Jolly Roger and, over the railing, the ocean and a blue sky, with a few white clouds and seagulls, were depicted. Floor and ceiling were completing the scene, with the ceiling representing a clear blue sky, and the floor, some wooden planks.

“We have artists in this family,” Emma commented.

“It was Killian’s idea,” Henry said enthusiastically. “He drew all of it, and we helped painting.”

“The lad is being modest.”

Emma headed to the cradle, which looked like a wooden chest with a red velvet-padded inside.

“What a better place to sleep than a chest, for our treasure?” Killian whispered while slipping his hands over the baby bump and wrapping her in his arms.

“It’s perfect.”

Leaning against him, she played with the mobile made of seashells.

“When I was saying the lad was being modest: this was his idea, and he made it all by himself.”

“That’s why you went out looking for some seashells.”

“Yes!” Henry joined the conversation and indicated the central seashell, which was the largest. “This is the one which contained the pearl we used for your ring.”

“Oh.”

Gazing at the mobile, she automatically played with the ring on her finger. The next object to catch her attention was the star-shaped rattle lying in the cradle which made her think of a magic wand. A light tinkling came of it when she waved it. Besides the cradle, there was another treasure chest inside which she found polished wood swords and a miniature spyglass. There was also a miniature wheel standing at the other end of the room.

“The baby will have everything that’s needed to grow up and become the best little pirate captain!” Killian commented.

“Where did you get all of this?” she asked while examining the rocking horse. Everything in the room – the cradle, the treasure chest, the wardrobe, the chest of drawers, the wheel and the rocking horse – were made of the same light polished wood.

“There’s a man in the village who creates all sorts of wooden objects. Most of the furniture comes from him. He was delighted to help. Speaking of, he said it’d be an honor to meet the Princess.” Killian lowered his voice as he closed the distance separating him from his fiancée. “I’ve kind of told him that I would come back to his workshop with you, so that he can meet you.”

“I’ll gladly meet him,” she said while glancing around.

“We still need more toys and clothes, but there’s no need to worry about any of this. There’s everything we need on this island and they’re all willing to help.”

“They actually feel honored to participate,” Charming said.

“They don’t see they’re helping us more than we’re helping them,” Killian added.

“They sometimes don’t even want to be paid. We had to insist.”

Emma looked around and the thought this was the childhood she had missed crossed her mind. She mused on Killian’s words: everyone was willing to help them. They even felt honored to do so. Her baby would not know the childhood that she had had; her baby would never lack anything and would always be surrounded by loved ones. She bit her lip as tears suddenly threatened to escape and hugged Killian, kissing his neck before hiding her face there.

“Everything is perfect,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

* * *

 

June had arrived and the parents-to-be were more and more excited with each passing day. Summer was coming and it was getting warm; so warm that Emma was constantly looking for some fresh air.

“I miss sailing,” she said. “Feeling the wind in my hair as the Jolly Roger rushes across the ocean.”

“Love, you know I would take you sailing if it was safe.”

“I know.” She flashed him a smile, and took his hand to play with his fingers while admiring the view. “I just wish the doctor was not such a wimp.”

During the previous weeks, they had often been sailing, sometimes on their own, sometimes with Henry or even her parents. In May, they had spent more days on the Jolly Roger than at the castle. That was until the doctor had warned them that the baby could come earlier than expected, and that he wouldn’t be able to help them if the baby happened to come while they were on the other side of the ocean. They thought they had found the solution when they invited him to come on board but, at first reluctant, the doctor had been seasick and had refused to go back, thus forcing them to stay at the castle. Instead of spending their days on the Jolly Roger, they were often on their balcony.

“Ouch!” Emma bent over and stood up before pacing around.

“Still the normal ones?” Killian inquired, getting on his feet as well.

“Yes.”

Contractions had become recurrent and much stronger than weeks earlier. Killian had got used to seeing her suddenly stand up and pace around, but was asking every time, because they both knew the contractions announcing birth would feel different.

“Only twelve days before the due date, love,” he reassured her.

“Even less days if we’re lucky.”

“There’s someone knocking on the door,” Killian noticed. Emma hadn’t heard anything but he went to open the door. “Lad!”

“I think I’ve found a name for the baby if it’s a boy!” Henry enthusiastically announced.

“But I had almost convinced him to call the baby Killian Junior!” Emma playfully complained.

“Not even close,” Killian chuckled. “What did you find, lad?”

“It’s in this book I’ve just finished reading. The main character happens to be even better than I thought! He’s been a hero since the beginning, but becomes even greater in the end.”

“What’s his name?”

“His name is Riley. And it’s said that it means valiant. Wouldn’t that be perfect for the baby?”

Killian and Emma glanced at each other and didn’t need words to know that they both loved it. The pirate patted Henry’s shoulder.

“Lad, you’ve just saved the baby from being named after me.”

“Come on, it wouldn’t have been that bad.”

“So you’re going to name the baby Riley?”

“If it’s a boy…” Emma paused to look at Killian who nodded in confirmation. “Yes.”

Delighted to have come up with a name, Henry carefully hugged his mother.

“Riley or Kaelyn,” he whispered before looking up. “You still don’t feel like the baby’s coming?”

Emma shook her head. “The due date is only in twelve days.”

“But the doctor says the baby can come earlier. I hope it will!”

Henry was impatient and he wasn’t the only one. They were all eager to meet the baby, and Emma felt like they were watching her every move. Even more than usual, Killian was waiting on her hand and foot. Every morning, she was waking up thinking of the number of days separating her from the due date that Lisa, the doctor she had seen in New York, had given her.

But June the thirteenth came, and nothing happened on that day. Every hour, she was expecting the baby to come, but a few more days went by.

“What if the baby doesn’t know how to get out?” Killian asked the doctor.

“Some babies only need more time. The due date is nothing but an estimation,” the doctor said. “There’s nothing alarming yet, no reason to worry, everything is normal. Just wait a few more days and your baby should see the light.”

He was right: two more days went by when nothing happened but, one night, in the wake of June the twentieth, Killian heard Emma leave the bed and go to the bathroom. It had become usual for her to get up in the middle of the night, but he was always attentive.

“Killian?” she called.

Instantly, he jumped off the bed. “Emma, are you alright?”

He found her leaning against the wall and looking down. “My waters broke.”

Excitement washed over him because he perfectly knew what that meant.

“Come here,” he said while placing her arm around his shoulders and slipping his arm in her back. “Can you still walk?”

She nodded but winced.

“Keep going, love. Almost there.” He led her back to the bed and laid her down. “We’re going to meet our baby!”

The mix of joy and excitement he was feeling was contagious and she smiled back. He quickly grabbed the sheets at the foot of the bed and covered her.

“I’m getting the doctor!” he said while heading to the door and she giggled.

“Killian,” she interrupted him. “You can’t get out of the room and see the doctor like this.”

Following her gaze, he glanced down. “Right.”

Catching hold of his bathrobe, he ran out of their room and put it on while rushing to the doctor’s.

Careless of the fact it was still nighttime, he hammered on the door. “It’s time! Hurry up!”

Noises coming from the room let him guess that the doctor was coming. He ran back to Emma who seemed to be fine.

“Is there anything I can do for you? Some water? Something to eat?”

“I’m fine,” she reassured with a smile. “Just stay here with me.”

“I don’t intend to go anywhere.” Sitting on the side of the bed, he took her hand and kissed her cheek. “With the baby coming, aren’t you supposed to have contractions?”

“I had some, that’s why I went to the bathroom, and they became even worse there. Right now, I don’t, but I suspect they’ll come back anytime. In the meantime, come here.”

She softly kissed his lips and he leant his forehead against hers.

“We’re going to meet our baby,” he repeated.

Doctor Whale entered the room with all his equipment. Killian hadn’t expected he would need all of this and, willing to understand, he suspiciously examined the different tools. He had never been fond of medical material, and the fact that there was so much of it was not reassuring him. He was unable to guess what most of it was for, but words written on a box worried him.

“Reanimation kit?” he read. “What would you need that for?”

“It’s a precaution,” the doctor answered casually while getting ready. “We never know what can happen.”

“What? No!” They had talked about the birth, but never had he been told a reanimation kit could be needed. “Love…”

“Killian, everything’s fine,” she reassured him. She didn’t look surprised, as if she had known giving birth could lead to the need of such a kit. “There’s no reason why-”

She was interrupted by what seemed to be a painful contraction and Killian worried even more.

“Is this normal?” he asked the doctor.

“Yes. The baby’s coming.”

Emma writhed in pain and Killian didn’t know what to do. Squatting beside the bed, he took her hand between his.

“Love, hold on to my hand.”

But she screamed as the contractions obviously became stronger.

“Emma, stay with me. You can do it.” He turned to the doctor who looked unaware of her pain, and his voice switched from tender to captain-like as he ordered him, “Do something!”

But Whale remained impassive. “Mr. Jones, calm down or I’ll need to get you out of the room.”

“There’s no bloody way I’m leaving her!”

“Then, be quiet. I’m working. Mrs. Swan?” he called while looking up at Emma. “I need you to push!”

She let out another cry of pain which made Killian feel helpless. He had noticed during the previous weeks that the contractions seemed to make her suffer more than she was willing to let appear, but he was only now realizing that she had also sugarcoated the reality of giving birth, always assuring him that everything would be fine. He was not ready for this. He was not ready to watch her suffer like this. She was holding his hand and was also clutching the sheets, and he could easily notice the difference.

“Emma, love, you can squeeze my hand. As tight as you’re squeezing the sheets. Don’t hold yourself back, I don’t mind losing it again. You can fix it later anyway.”

During a second of respite between two contractions, she flashed him a weak smile, but shut her eyes closed out of pain.

“Use your magic to transfer your pain to me,” he suggested.

He wished she would do so, as he’d rather be the one suffering than see her in pain. Every minute going by, every cry of pain, magnified his feeling of helplessness. He was desperate to find a way to help her but didn’t know how to.

“How long will that last?” Killian snapped at the doctor.

“That depends on her and the baby,” he answered, still impassive. “Since it’s her second one, it might go rather quickly. Mrs. Swan, push!”

“Heard that, love?” he asked while brushing a sticky strand of hair off her face, “It’ll be quick. You can do it. Push!”

She complied, but was still visibly in pain. Killian couldn’t handle it. She was squeezing his hand, but he suspected it was not because of his hand that he was suddenly hot and sweaty; because seeing her suffering was so much to take, his vision became blurry. He shook his head in an attempt to pull himself together. He didn’t want to be the one in need of the reanimation kit while she was the one doing all the work and going through all the pain.

He focused on her and repeated, “Go on, love. You can do it. Almost there. Almost.”

He was breathing deeply but it wasn’t enough; the doctor’s voice sounded more and more distant. He knew he was about to pass out, and was feeling stupid for being so weak while she was once again proving to be so strong. He looked back on all the times when she had amazed him by handling situations like nobody else would have, and a sense of pride invaded him. He was so proud of her. He had always been.

He was thoughtful and had lost track of time, but he kept whispering words of encouragement and was not on the verge of passing out anymore.

It was an unfamiliar cry which made him fully aware of their reality again. He looked up and saw Doctor Whale standing up. His gaze fixed on the baby in the doctor’s arms, Killian instinctively got up. He was about to close the distance separating him from the baby – _his_ baby – but hesitated when he remembered Emma’s hand in his and looked at her. It was the first time this happened; it was the first time that, while being with her, he was tempted to go to someone else. His eyes shifted between her and the baby in the doctor’s arms.

“Go,” Emma whispered with a smile, indicating the baby to him and letting go of his hand.

As he took the few steps separating him from the doctor, he was mostly curious and excited to meet the newborn. But as soon as he saw the baby that the doctor was holding in a towel, one feeling surpassed everything else: love. He was gazing at the little being who looked so fragile that he was afraid a simple touch might break it, and a kind of love that he had never experienced before washed over him. All he knew was that this little being was a precious treasure needing to be protected.

“Congratulations, you have a daughter,” announced the doctor while going to Emma.

Killian smiled brightly at his fiancée and added, “It’s Kaelyn.”

Doctor Whale had described what would happen if everything went well: he had told them that, unless either the mother or the newborn needed some additional treatment, the best thing to do for the baby’s well-being was to reunite both, and had explained that, right after birth, he would place the newborn on Emma’s stomach. Knowing that this was the scenario corresponding to the everything-went-well situation, Killian was relieved and delighted to see the doctor go to Emma and place the little being on her stomach before rearranging the sheets to cover them. From this moment on, he became too busy admiring the baby – his daughter – to care about the doctor’s whereabouts: after an indeterminate amount of time when he had worried about the one he loved, the fact that both his fiancée and their daughter were fine was all he needed to know.

“You did it!”

“ _We_ did,” Emma corrected. Gazing at the newborn, she repeated in a hushed voice, “Killian, we did it.”

He was still not fully realizing that the little being breathing on her stomach was a life they had created. When he reached for the hand clenched into a tiny fist, and grasped that this was one of the two little hands he had seen through the abdominal wall and spent hours tracking, caressing and kissing, tears filled his eyes. He glanced at Emma and saw her eyes watering as well.

“We did it,” she repeated.

“She’s beautiful.”

“Killian?” The doctor interrupted them and handed him scissors.

“I’ve no idea what…”

But he trailed off as he realized he actually knew what had to be done: they had also talked about it. The doctor had placed two pliers on the umbilical cord. It was apparently time to cut it. He was apprehensive as he took the scissors, but the gesture happened to be easier than he had expected. The physical link between Emma and Kaelyn was cut and, somehow, this helped Killian realize that the moment he had been waiting for months had finally come: he had met his daughter. This simple thought made another wave of love wash over him.

“Killian, look,” Emma drew his attention to the newborn.

Quickly handing back the scissors, Killian went back to squat beside the bed. His eyes were riveted on Kaelyn who was moving her lips.

“That’s good,” the doctor commented. “She’s trying to feed. Don’t help her, she should be able to find out how on her own.”

It took Kaelyn a few minutes to prove the doctor right: moving her lips and shifting over Emma, she suddenly found it and started sucking.

“Well done, treasure!” Killian cheered.

Until then having only brushed the back of her hand, he was tempted to reach her again, to caress her light brown hair and to trail a fingertip over her chubby cheek but, afraid to disturb her, he stopped himself from doing so and simply admired her while she kept sucking. Holding her in her arms, Emma was not taking her eyes off their daughter either. At last, Kaelyn seemed to decide she had got enough.

“Do you want to hold her?” Emma asked.

Excitement rushed through his veins at the prospect of holding his daughter in his arms. He nodded and went to sit on his side of the bed. Very softly, he took her in his arms and was in awe.

“My little love, if you knew how long I’ve been waiting for this moment!” He trailed a fingertip down the side of her face. “You look beautiful.” He felt like he would never get tired of looking at her. He was gazing at her and, to him, she was flawless. “Do you think she’s sleeping? She hasn’t opened her eyes even when she was eating.”

“I think that’s normal.”

“She’s beautiful.”

Emma slipped her hand under her feet. “Look at them! Such tiny feet!”

“And her hands,” Killian added. When he trailed his fingertip down her arm and reached her palm, she stretched her hand which she had kept clenched into a fist. “Look at her tiny fingers, her tiny nails.”

Kaelyn closed her hand and captured his finger.

“Love, look! She grabbed my finger!”

“Her hand is tinier than your fingertip!” Emma pointed out, amazed as well.

She reached for the other tiny hand and Kaelyn grabbed her finger as well. The two parents were in awe of their daughter. Killian took her hand to his lips and softly kissed her fingers. That was when she opened her eyes and filled them with some more wonder.

“Love! She’s looking at us!”

“Hey Kaelyn!” Emma greeted. “You’re making mum and daddy so happy!”

Holding their fingers, her gaze shifted between the two of them.

“Beautiful little baby treasure,” Killian said while caressing the back of her hand. “There’s a whole new world waiting for you. You’ll see, it’s a beautiful place. Daddy will show you!”

“And mum will, too!” Emma added. Kaelyn looked at her and she was transfixed. “Killian, she has your eyes.”

“I’m not sure.”

“I am,” she insisted. “Your eyes are the first thing I look into in the morning. She has your eyes.”

They couldn’t discuss it more as she closed them again.

“She falls asleep very fast,” Killian commented.

“I’ll need to take your daughter for a while,” the doctor interrupted them.

“Why?” Killian asked at once.

“For some examination. I’ll be right here, in the bathroom.”

Killian hesitated. He was tempted to follow the doctor and watch him, but he eventually decided that he could trust him and let him take his daughter.

“How are you feeling, love?” he inquired.

“I’m fine!”

“My love, all of this looked so painful. I didn’t expect it would be like this. With everything you had told me, I was reassured. But you don’t need to hide the truth. Are you sure you’re fine, now?”

“I didn’t want to worry you. And you have no reason to worry, now. I’m fine. Slightly tired and it still hurts a bit, but I’m fine.” She reached for his cheek and smiled. “You’re a father.”

His smile brightened at once. “That’s all thanks to you.” He tenderly hugged her and whispered in her ear, “I love you.”

“I love you,” she repeated. “You’ve been amazing during Kaelyn’s birth.”

“Amazing?” Killian pulled away from the hug and gazed at her with an amused smile. “Love, I almost passed out.”

“What?”

“I almost passed out,” he repeated. “I couldn’t watch you suffer like this. There was no way to prevent it and I could do nothing about it. I couldn’t take it.”

“My Killian,” she whispered while caressing his cheek. “I had no idea. You’ve been amazing still. You kept talking to me and your voice was what made me go through it. That, and the fact that we were going to meet our baby. The fact that I would finally see you holding our baby in your arms, after all these months spent waiting for this moment.”

“Emma…” Overwhelmed with love, he kissed her before whispering against her lips, “You’ve been fantastic, as always.”

The doctor brought Kaelyn back, clean and wrapped in a blanket, and still sleeping. “Your baby is in great shape! My work here is done for now. I’ll be in my room if you need anything.”

“Whale?” Emma called. “Thank you.”

The man nodded and left the room.

“I think it’s time for her to meet her brother. What do you say, love?”

“Yes!” Emma approved. “Go and get Henry. It’s late enough to wake him up.”

It was still early but the day had dawned.

“He wouldn’t want us to wait. He told me to wake him up in case the baby came at night.” Killian was ready to leave the bed, but saw Emma and handed her a nightshirt. “Don’t you want to put that on?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Killian took Kaelyn in his arms while Emma got dressed. “Little baby treasure, you’re going to meet your big brother. He, too, is very impatient to meet you.”

Taking her tiny fist to his lips, he pressed a soft kiss there before giving her back to Emma.

“Is there anything that you need?” he inquired.

“No. Go and get Henry.”

His lips brushed hers. “I’ll be right back.”

With a bright smile on his lips, he left the room and rushed to Henry’s bedroom.

“Lad?” he called while knocking on the door.

His answer was instant. “Is the baby here?”

“Aye! And she wants to meet her big brother.”

“ _She_! I have a sister!”

It took him only a few seconds to come out of his room, still in his pajamas. At first, he ran past Killian, but stopped and went back to him to quickly hug him before rushing to his sister. He slowed down when he got closer and quietly entered the room, followed by Killian.

“She’s awake!” Emma announced with a bright smile.

“She’s so tiny!”

“Do you want to hold her?” Killian offered.

“Yes!”

“Sit on the bed.”

Henry happily sat next to his mother who placed Kaelyn in his arms.

“You can talk to her.”

“Hi Kaelyn!” he said and beamed as she looked at him. “I don’t know if you understand what I’m saying but I’m Henry, your brother. And you’re Kaelyn, my sister. Everyone loves you already. You’ll see, life is going to be awesome!”

Brother and sister held each other’s gaze until she closed her eyes.

“Place your finger on the palm of her hand,” Killian suggested. “She will grab it.”

Henry tried and Kaelyn indeed grabbed his finger, just like she had done earlier with Killian and Emma.

“That’s so cute!” the boy commented. “But now, does that mean I need to stay with her until she wakes up?”

“No, I can take her if you want me to.”

“But she’s holding my finger. Won’t that wake her up, if I take it back?”

“If you slowly take it back, she shouldn’t awake. Do you want me to take her now?”

“No, not yet!” Sitting between Killian and Emma, and keeping his finger in his sister’s hand, Henry was gazing at her. “When will she be able to talk?”

“To talk? Not before months. Maybe a year, even?” Unsure of his answer, Killian glanced at Emma who didn’t look much more certain about it.

“Does that mean that, for a year, we will talk to her without knowing if she understands us? And that she won’t be able to reply to us?”

“She understands what you say. That’s how she’ll learn how to talk: by listening to us,” Emma explained.

Henry thoughtfully looked at the baby sleeping in his arms. “This means I can invent some new words and teach her.”

“Why would you do that?” Emma inquired.

The boy looked up with a playful smile. “So that we can have a language only she and I can understand. That’ll be called Operation Secret Code.”

Killian realized what he meant. “You met her minutes ago and you two are already up to some mischief!”

“Yes! That’s what sister and brother are for,” the boy confirmed with a cheeky smile and chuckled when Killian ruffled his hair. He looked down at his sister. “We’ll make quite the team, it’s going to be a lot of fun!”

“Not too much mischief!” Killian warned.

“We’ll see,” Henry replied defiantly.

They spent some more time just the four of them, and it was only later that they warned Snow and Charming, and Liam and Ariel, who had been staying at the castle because they knew the baby would be born soon. Afraid that Kaelyn would feel overwhelmed if there were too many guests in the room at the same time, they agreed to make Emma’s parents come first, and Liam and Ariel later.

Kaelyn filled everyone with wonder. When she was not sleeping, she spent most of her time gazing at faces, holding fingers, or feeding. In the afternoon, exhausted, Emma slept almost as much as her daughter. Henry and the others had left to let her get some rest. Killian was lying on his side of the bed and watching over his two princesses. Kaelyn was sleeping between her parents, and Killian was unable to stop himself from playing with her hands or tracing the features of her face.

When the night came, both parents were still as filled with wonder as they had been in the morning. Though Kaelyn had her own room, they had decided to keep her with them for the first nights. Killian had managed to convince Emma to place her cradle by his side of the bed, thus allowing him to have his daughter close to him.

They knew that Kaelyn was likely not to sleep through the night and, indeed, she didn’t. Each time she fell asleep in the evening, they thought the night was starting, but every time she woke up crying, requiring feeding or some attention. Sometimes, they didn’t know what she needed or wanted, and could do nothing but watch over her until she fell asleep again.

Late at night, when the newborn had been sleeping for quite a long time, Killian was still sitting on the edge of the bed. Unable to get to sleep, he was gazing at his daughter and keeping his finger in her hand. He heard Emma moving behind him and coming closer.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said before she had time to say anything. “Or more like, I don’t want to.”

“You won’t be able to stay awake all the time. You need your rest too.”

“That’ll wait. Look at her, it looks like she’s smiling in her sleep. I wonder what she’s dreaming of.”

Wrapping her arms around him, Emma placed her chin on his shoulder and caressed his chest.

“You’re being an amazing father. Just like I expected.” She kissed his neck before adding, “I love you.”

“And I love you,” he said while covering her arms with his own. “Do you think she will be fine on her own?”

“We’re right here if she needs us. She will be fine.”

“Alright.”

Killian softly took his finger back, put the candle out and turned around to lay down and take his fiancée in his arms. More exhausted than he had realized, the new father quickly fell asleep.


	14. A Whole New Life

A barely audible sigh escaped Emma as she opened her eyes and noticed it was still nighttime. It was the end of July and Kaelyn was not always sleeping through the night. On that one, it was the second time that she was crying.

Henry had thought of a way for Killian and Emma to hear their daughter from their room: they had placed in her bedroom one of the seashells that mermaids used to communicate, and were keeping the matching seashell with them.

Emma was about to get up and go to her daughter when Killian held her back.

“Get some more sleep, love,” he said in a hushed voice. “You got up in the middle of the night, already. It’s my turn.”

“But you were up too,” she observed. “And what if she’s hungry?”

“Perhaps she’s not. Perhaps she just misses her daddy.”

A smile stretched her lips. “Or maybe her father misses her.”

“Possibly. Get some more sleep, I’m taking care of her.”

“Alright,” she conceded.

She turned to him and he tenderly pressed his lips against hers. The kiss lingered more than she had expected while he softly tightened his embrace and ran his fingers along her arm. At first sleepy, she felt more and more awake and smiled against his lips.

“Go, before I decide to keep you here,” she whispered.

He chuckled and got out of the bed. She heard him rummaging through the pile of clothes and it sounded like he put on his pants before leaving the room. Smiling in her pillow, she sighed as she dreamily thought of her true love, who was not only the perfect fiancé, but also an amazing father. Knowing that he would bring her Kaelyn if she was hungry, she wondered if he would come back straight away, but she got back to sleep within a minute.

When she woke up, she held her arm out in an attempt to reach Killian, but he wasn’t lying by her side. He was not in the room and she guessed he was up already, somewhere in the castle with their daughter. Putting on her nightshirt, she left the room and cast a glance through the next door; Kaelyn’s room was deserted. The two places where she thought she was the most likely to find them were the library and the dining room. The library being the closest from her room, Emma headed there.

She silently opened the door and smiled tenderly as she found them both asleep on the couch. Wearing only a diaper, lying between Killian and the back of the couch, Kaelyn was sleeping peacefully while holding her father’s finger. Each day, Emma had the impression that her daughter was getting more and more beautiful. She lightly brushed her cheek before focusing on Killian, who was lying on his stomach and exposing his bare back to her. His face turned towards Kaelyn, he was on the edge, with his arm hanging from the couch and the rattle in his hand.

During the past month, Emma had rarely got the occasion to see him sleep, as she was usually falling asleep quickly at night, and he was getting up early in the morning to be with their daughter. Admiring the view, she bit her lip before finally giving in: she reached the top of his back, at first with one hand, then with two, and trailed her fingers down until she was stopped by the waistband of his pants. Her fingers followed the same path in the other way. His eyes were still closed but his smile was giving away the fact that he was awake. She kissed his shoulder and his neck, and his smile widened but he still kept his eyes closed. She laid down on top of him and he chuckled, and opened his eyes at last.

“Lovely way to wake up,” he commented with a crooked smile.

“I couldn’t resist the view. You’re too attractive,” she accused him playfully, and another chuckle escaped him.

“Sorry?”

She giggled and captured his lips.

“I was right.”

“About what?” she inquired.

He indicated Kaelyn who was still sleeping with his finger in her hand. “She was only missing her daddy. She stopped crying as soon as I picked her up. She fell asleep again in my arms. We came here and… I got back to sleep as well.”

“You’re adorable.”

“ _She_ is.”

A sigh of fulfillment escaped Emma. Lying on top of Killian and lightly scratching the nape of his neck, she reached for Kaelyn’s tiny hand. They remained like this and gazed at their daughter until she woke up and another happy day started.

* * *

 

“That’s a very nice work, Henry.”

“You think so?” he asked with a bright smile.

“Yes.”

Emma and Henry were sitting on her bed. The boy had just made his mother read the essay he had been assigned for school. She looked it over again.

“That’s well-written and interesting,” she commented. “I’d say that’s very good!”

“Awesome! Thank you!”

Snow came to see them. “You two look studious!”

“We are!” Henry said proudly. “I’ve finished my essay!”

“Will you let me read it?”

“Of course!” he answered enthusiastically and handed her his work.

“Where’s Killian?” Snow asked her daughter.

“Where Kaelyn is.” A smile brightened her features as she pictured her true love. “Probably in the library, telling her some adventure tales.”

“Mum is not Killian’s favorite princess anymore,” Henry added with a teasing smile.

Emma kept smiling; she just loved how close Killian was to their daughter.

“Killian insisted I should get some rest, since I haven’t slept a lot last night. But I don’t want to rest.”

“You don’t have these nightmares anymore, do you?” Snow inquired and Emma shook her head.

“Killian thinks Kaelyn healed me for good. He says that carrying her for nine months might have left some permanent ‘true love’s prints,’ as he calls them, and that they’re enough to keep the nightmares away.”

“That’s a beautiful theory.”

“I know. And speaking of Killian and Kaelyn, I’m going to see them. This way, you can read Henry’s essay.”

She left the room and headed to the library. She peeked inside and, at first, didn't see them. But she noticed that the door leading to the balcony was open, and silently went closer. She found them there: Killian was holding their daughter in his arms and showing her the ocean. It was the end of September and Kaelyn was now a three-month-old graceful baby. The light brown hair she had at birth had turned blonde, and she had the same bright blue eyes as her father.

Without making any noise, Emma went even closer, until she could hear what Killian was telling their daughter.

“The castle is your home, but so is the ocean. One day, you will rule the world, and everyone will love you, because you’re the most amazing of all the princesses.” He lowered his voice but Emma could still hear. “But don’t tell mum I’ve said that.”

Emma felt like she was melting. Kaelyn happily babbled and reached out to Killian who pressed a kiss on her tiny hand.

“Aye, the most amazing of them all,” he repeated before peppering her face with kisses.

Kaelyn laughed; a tinkling laugh which had become one of Emma’s favorite sounds. She kept babbling while she grabbed a lapel of Killian’s coat.

“Just like mum,” he chuckled and she looked up at him before tugging at it, letting Killian guess what she wanted. “Sorry, treasure, I’m afraid I don’t have what you’re looking for.”

It looked like he was trying to distract her: Emma saw him making funny faces and noises, and another tinkling laugh resounded. Beaming, Kaelyn patted his cheeks, and squealed when he chuckled. Then, she had her heart set on his necklace, which she took to her mouth. His move both soft and quick, he took it away from her.

“You can’t eat that, love.” Gazing at his daughter, he sighed as it was undeniable. “You’re definitely hungry. But daddy can’t give you what you want, we need to go and see if mum is awake.”

“Mum is awake,” Emma announced, betraying her presence.

Killian raised his eyebrows as he saw her leaning against the door frame. “I thought you were getting some rest?”

“I didn’t feel like sleeping. And you two were way too adorable, I didn’t want to interrupt you.”

Turning to Kaelyn, Killian lowered his voice again, though it was intentionally kept loud enough for Emma to hear, “Did you see that? Mum has been spying on us. That’s bad form.”

Emma laughed. “But mum has the food.”

She held out her arms and Killian playfully made a pouty face. Finally, he handed her Kaelyn who squealed again when she found herself in her mother’s arms.

“Who’s happy to see mum? It’s my baby!”

Emma kissed her cheek and she started babbling again. They went back inside and sat down on the couch.

“Ouch!” Emma whispered when Kaelyn snatched her.

Killian chuckled. “She’s being eager again. That’s her daddy’s girl!”

“Laughing is easy for you. She can’t do that to you.”

“Sometimes she tries to bite my finger. Does that count?”

“No,” she answered stubbornly and he chuckled some more.

“Seriously, love, I would feed her myself if I could. But I can’t. What can I do, other than laughing?” He played innocent and pressed his lips together to repress a laugh.

“You’re impossible,” she commented.

“And you love me for it,” he answered while kissing her cheek.

He sounded proud of himself and Emma focused on her daughter to hide her smile. Kaelyn looked imperturbable.

“What are mum and daddy doing?” Killian addressed the baby girl who glanced at him. “That’s true love: daddy can annoy mum endlessly and she will never blame him. When she fixed her gaze on her mother again, he added, “But of course, what daddy is saying is not as interesting as food.”

“Serves you right,” Emma teased.

“Unfair.”

The playful banter ended there. Killian softly caressed Emma’s cheek and gathered her hair over her shoulder.

It was only when she felt light tugs that she asked him, “Are you braiding my hair?”

“Aye. One of these days, Kaelyn will have long hair too. I need to train.”

“Do you hear that?” Emma addressed her daughter to let her be part of the conversation. “Daddy is using mum as first draft.” She glanced sideways at her hair and it actually looked like a very nice braid. “But he’s handling it pretty well already. Looks like you’re going to have the most beautiful braids of the kingdom.”

“You’re flattering me, love.”

“But I mean it. When did you learn how to braid hair like this?”

A crooked smile stretched his lips. “I’ve watched you a hundred times. It’s easier than I thought.”

When he was done, he placed the braid on her shoulder and slipped an arm behind her shoulders to tenderly pull her closer. Gazing at their daughter, she leant her head against his shoulder.

“She’s beautiful.”

“Must run in the family,” Killian replied. “She does have beautiful parents.”

Later, when they were still in the library and Henry walked past the door, Killian hailed him. He gladly joined them and, together, they decided they could read a book.

“How about Operation True Love?” Henry suggested.

“We read this one, already,” Killian said.

“But it was weeks ago. She can understand it better, now.” Emma couldn’t get tired of reading this book retracing her and Killian’s story.

“You’re right. Let’s read this one.”

“Yay!”

The boy went to fetch the book and they settled for the reading. Henry and Emma were sitting on both sides of Killian, who had one arm around Emma, and was holding Kaelyn with the other one. Killian and Henry placed the book between them and the boy was the one reading. The story started with Emma walking on deck for the first time, depicting the moment right before they met for the first time.

Obviously delighted to be surrounded by her family, Kaelyn babbled happily and patted the book which captured her whole attention. But soon, after only a few pages, she became silent and fell asleep in her father’s arms. She wasn’t the only one: exhausted and comfortably nestled against her fiancé, Emma struggled to keep her eyes open as her eyelids grew heavy. At last, she stopped fighting and indulged in some sleep.

When Henry noticed, he chuckled. “I thought they were still listening. How long have they been sleeping?”

“Not long. But _I_ was listening to you.”

“I’ll read the next part later, when Kaelyn’s awake.” The boy closed the book and went to put it back in its place. A laugh escaped him when he came back to Killian. “You can’t even move anymore.”

“I must be comfortable,” the man joked. With a move of his head, he indicated the empty place on his left and added playfully, “If you fancy a nap, there’s still one free spot here.”

The boy smirked. “I don’t want to sleep.”

“Do you want to play chess?” Killian offered.

“How do you plan on moving your pieces?”

“I’ll tell you which one to move, you’ll do it for me.”

Henry beamed, delighted to have the chance to play chess. “The chessboard is in my room, just wait here.”

The boy had already left the room when Killian said, “I don’t plan to go anywhere.”

With one arm around each of his princesses, he gazed at both of them. His ability to move was so limited that all he could do was to press his lips on top of Emma’s head.

Henry came back and sat down on the couch opposite Killian.

“I guess white-”

“Is my color,” the boy completed while setting the game up on the coffee table.

Every time they had played, he had picked the white pieces. Once the game was ready, they started to play. Killian was whispering the coordinates of the squares to indicate his moves, and Henry was moving his pieces for him.

“No! Not my knight!” The boy playfully complained when a black rook captured a white knight.

Analyzing the game, he smirked when he identified his next move, and used one of his pawns to capture Killian’s rook.

“Well done, lad! Hadn’t seen that one.” He repressed a smile when he said, “Bishop from E-six to B-three.”

Seizing the black bishop, Henry frowned and stopped as he looked up at Killian, “You can’t do that! Only knights can jump over other pieces.”

The man smirked. “I know. I was just checking I had taught you well.”

“Or trying to cheat,” the boy said defiantly.

“Me, cheating? I wouldn’t dare.” Catching his suspicious look, Killian added, “Why would I cheat when I can move my knight from B-four to C-two and capture your queen?”

Henry looked at the chessboard. “No!”

Killian beamed as he watched him reluctantly move the black knight. “Check!”

With only one move, he could capture the white king, but the boy saved him and the game went on.

They were still playing when Snow stopped on the doorstep and beamed when she saw them. She made a sign to someone in the corridor and, seconds later, David appeared in the doorframe and she indicated them. He flashed Killian a bright smile and gave him the thumbs up. With his two princesses on his lap, he couldn’t give them back, so he winked instead.

“It’s your turn,” Henry told him.

“What was your move?” Killian asked as he focused back on the game.

The boy smirked. “I’m not saying.”

The pirate examined the chessboard and looked amused when he noticed the change, “I see. Putting my king in check and not even announcing it, when I do announce checks. Bad form, lad!”

Emma woke up and silently watched them, loving that they had found an occasion to play chess and spend some time together. Kaelyn was less discreet when she opened her eyes a moment later: she immediately drew Killian’s attention by grabbing his necklace and happily babbling.

“It’s your turn to play,” Emma pointed out and held out her arms. “Give her to me so that you can focus.”

At first reluctant, he finally placed their daughter in her arms. A pout formed on her tiny lips as she was pulled away from her father, but she squealed when she saw her mother and started babbling again. She held out her arms and Emma gave her a finger, but it didn’t seem to be what she wanted. Emma lifted her up and it appeared to be more to her taste: she let out another squeal when she placed her hands on her mother’s cheeks. She grew quiet when she started exploring Emma’s features and focused on her braid. The princess laid down on the couch with her head resting on Killian’s lap, and her daughter lying on her stomach. Kaelyn lifted her head and her chest up – something she had developed the ability to do during the past week – and smiled brightly at her mother.

“Am I really supposed to focus on the game?” Killian asked with a crooked smile on his lips.

Emma looked up at him and repressed a teasing smile. “Are we distracting you?”

“Aye. You two are way too adorable not to.”

He passed his fingers through her hair to softly unbraid it while moving one of his pieces. She closed her eyes when he lightly scratched her scalp.

“Killian, I’m going to fall asleep if you do that.”

“That’s alright,” he chuckled and kept going. “You can fall asleep on me, love. Perhaps you do need some more sleep.”

Finally, she stayed awake and played with Kaelyn while her boys finished their game, and repressed a laugh when Henry won and teased Killian about it.

* * *

 

“Mum? Dad?”

Both Emma and Killian looked up as they heard Henry who had just come back from school.

“We’re here!” the pirate answered.

It was an afternoon in the beginning of March and, during the previous months, because everyone was always referring to Killian as ‘daddy’ when addressing Kaelyn, Henry had taken to call him that as well.

The boy appeared on the doorstep of his parents’ room, and burst out laughing when he saw Killian on all fours, crawling around.

“What are you doing?” he asked between two bursts of laughter.

“Trying to make your sister crawl,” Killian answered as if it was the most natural thing.

Henry looked around and laughed even more when he noticed Emma was also on all fours, next to Kaelyn who was sitting on the floor. The eight-month-old baby was obviously not resolute to move; that was until her brother’s laugh caught her attention: she turned to him and joyfully squealed, and Killian and Emma looked taken aback as they watched her crawl toward Henry. Delighted, the boy dropped his school bag and let himself fall on his knees. Waiting for his sister with open arms, he hugged her as soon as she reached him.

“She chose me!” he said proudly.

“This alliance between the two of you is totally unfair,” Killian playfully complained.

“I agree,” Emma approved.

Both of them were still on all fours, gazing at the children.

“Well,” said Killian. “If my little princess doesn’t want me, I have another princess.”

Emma’s mouth fell slightly open as she saw her fiancé crawl to her, and she needed a moment before being able to find her words.

“Thank you for letting me know I’m the consolation prize,” she teased.

He chuckled and made her sit in his lap.

“You know that’s not true,” he said while brushing a blonde curl behind her ear. “I love you both equally, just in different ways.” He looked her in the eye before adding, “You’re the treasure I’ve found, she’s the treasure we’ve created.”

His words had an instant effect: Emma melted in his embrace. “Alright, you’re all forgiven.”

“I would despair if I wasn’t.”

Smiling, she placed her hand on his cheek, and was about to kiss him when Henry interrupted, “Well I guess you don’t need us. She just fell asleep, seems like it’s naptime. I’m going to put her into bed.”

At the mention of naptime, Killian and Emma exchanged a knowing look.

The boy was up, holding his sister in his arms, when his mother remembered, “Henry, wait. When you came, you seemed to be looking for us, is there anything that you need?”

“I was just coming to tell you that I was back from school. Also, remember that work on the movements of planets? Mrs. Danvers handed it back, and I got an Outstanding!”

“That’s my boy!” Killian said proudly.

“Well done, kid!” Emma congratulated.

Henry smiled brightly and glanced down at Kaelyn. “I should go. I have homework to do anyway.”

Lightly biting her lip and melting in her fiancé’s embrace, Emma trailed her hand up his thigh, anticipating the moment which was to come for just the two of them.

“Do you need any help with your work?” Killian inquired.

Henry’s gaze shifted from him to Emma and to her hand on his leg, and he flashed them a smile. “I’m fine. If I need help, I’ll go and ask Grandma.”

* * *

 

“Who’s that?” Emma asked. “It’s daddy and Henry!”

She was holding her daughter’s hands to help her stand on her feet, and indicated the boys who were sitting on the couch, playing cards. Hearing that she had mentioned him, Killian looked up.

“Come to daddy, treasure!” he called her.

For a few weeks, they had been trying to make her walk, but she was just ten months old and was apparently still not ready. Looking at her father with a bright smile, she wriggled and Emma let her get back on hands and knees. She quickly crawled across the room and reached him. He didn’t move to encourage her to do what she did next: she grabbed his leg and pulled herself on her feet. This was something she had learnt to do in the past weeks and it didn’t stop to fill them with wonder.

But on that day, Kaelyn amazed them even more: she was standing on her feet and beaming at her father when it came out of her mouth: “Daddy!”

Killian’s eyebrows shot up. “You said ‘daddy’!” He picked her up to take her in his arms, and glanced at Henry and Emma. “She said it! Her first word is my name!”

Her father’s excitement made her clap her hands together and squeal.

“Kaelyn!” her brother called. “Say Henry! Hen-ry.”

Delighted to be the center of attention, she kept beaming.

“Say Henry!” the boy repeated.

“Ewy!”

“That’s close enough!” Henry was satisfied.

“Well done, treasure!” Killian congratulated his daughter who squealed when he kissed her cheek.

“Kaelyn! Come back to mum!” Emma called while opening her arms.

Killian put the baby princess back on the floor and she crawled to her mother. Again, by gripping Emma like she could, she got back on her feet. Unstable, she lost her balance and caught herself by wrapping her arms around her mother’s neck. Emma instantly captured her in her embrace.

“I’m getting a hug! That’s even better than a word!” she said teasingly.

“No, that’s not,” Henry replied.

“Definitely not!” Killian added.

“It is,” Emma insisted.

Hugging her daughter, she lightly swayed, rocking her in her arms. Her family was filling her with happiness. Kaelyn was changing and learning new things so quickly that every day could bring something new, and that was making of this whole new life a very enjoyable one.

 


	15. Until Forever Ends

“Emma!” Snow laughed when a blonde curl slipped from her fingers as her daughter turned to the door. “How do you want me to dress your hair if you keep moving like this?”

“But it’s Killian! The footsteps. It’s his!”

Henry was first to reach the door, and half-opened it. “Dad, you know you have to wait. You can’t see her now.”

“I know. And I won’t!” he said, standing in the corridor.

“Emma,” Snow laughed again as her daughter stood up. “I’ll need to start over.”

“Killian!” Emma stood with her back to the half-open door and slipped her hand through it.

“Mum…” Henry rolled his eyes and chuckled, before going back to his sister and picking her up. “Do you see that? Mum and dad love each other so much that they can’t stay away from each other for even just a few hours.”

Killian and Emma were both standing on either side of the door, playing with each other’s hand. It was on a day in the start of August, and the atmosphere at the castle and on the rest of the island was festive: Princess Emma Swan was about to marry Captain Killian Jones, and everyone was celebrating.

“Are you sure we can’t see each other?” Emma asked. “We don’t have to follow the rules.”

“Don’t tempt me, love,” Killian answered from the other side of the door.

A playful smile appeared on her features. “Why not?”

“Don’t let me take away from the audience this moment when they see the look of wonder on my face as you come in. Though I’ll be just as bewitched even if I’ve already seen you in your dress.”

“I want to see this look of wonder.”

“You know that look very well. It’s the look I give you every morning when I wake up by your side.”

“Killian…”

He chuckled as her tone indicated that she was on the verge of swooning. “Resist, love.”

“Give me one valuable reason.”

“Think of all the guests who came here to celebrate our love. Think of how disappointed they would be if none of us showed up. You need to resist because if I see you now, I might forget about them and about this whole royal wedding thing, and marry you straight away.”

She giggled, then sighed. “I want to kiss you.”

“You will. Down the aisle. Be patient.”

Emma’s attention was caught by Kaelyn, who was squirming in her brother’s arms and looked delighted when he put her down. The one-year-old baby girl toddled and slipped out of the room.

“Daddy!”

“Treasure! Look how beautiful you are! As always, I must say.”

Beaming, she gripped the skirt of her red dress and looked up at him before saying proudly, “Bweedef!”

“Aye, a princess! That’s what you are: my beautiful little princess, in a beautiful princess dress!”

She squealed and held out her arms to him. Keeping Emma’s hand in his own, Killian squatted and hugged his daughter.

“The most perfect little maid of honor,” he said.

“It’s unfair how she can get hugs and kisses from you and I can’t,” Emma playfully complained, still standing behind the door.

Killian chuckled and kissed the back of her hand. Watching him, Kaelyn reached towards her mother’s hand. “Me!”

“Oh, you want to kiss mum’s hand too!”

He lifted her up just enough so that she could grab it, and Emma giggled when she felt her daughter’s lips against her fingers.

“Daddy!” Kaelyn said, now holding out her hand to him.

Understanding what she wanted, he softly took her hand to his lips and a tinkling laugh escaped her.

“Alright, time for daddy to go back,” Killian told his daughter. “And you go back to mum, but we’ll reunite soon. Savvy?”

She nodded and he playfully tapped her nose, before leading her back into the room while remaining hidden behind the door.

“My love,” he said while tenderly tightening his hold on her hand, “See you down the aisle!”

“Is it time to go there, already?”

“Not yet,” he chuckled. “But soon. I love you.”

“I love you.”

Killian let go of her hand and Emma went back to Snow, who was delighted to help her daughter get ready for her wedding.

* * *

 

Emma was alone in the room. Snow and the children had left only a moment earlier, but every second had seemed to linger since then. She had to wait for her father to come and lead her to the ballroom, where everything was planned to happen. Hopping up and down with impatience, only wanting to reunite with her soon-to-be husband, she was tempted to get out of the room to go and find him. But she resisted. The only distraction she found was the mirror, in front of which she went to stand. Over the past year and a half, she had got used to princess dresses, but her wedding gown was unlike any dress she had ever worn. She wouldn't have minded a simple white dress, but her mother was so excited for the wedding that she had gladly accepted to wear a fancier gown. That was how she happened to be wearing an ivory dress which was more beautiful than anything she had imagined. The simple thought of the way Killian would look at her made her smile; she knew he was always appreciative of how she was dressed, no matter what she was wearing, but she also knew that he would enjoy how the corset was highlighting her outline, or how one of her shoulders was bare, while the other one was draped with a translucent and beaded strip of silk chiffon which was also constituting half of the sweetheart neckline. A layer of the same material was covering the skirt. When she had tried to picture what her wedding gown would be like, she had been afraid it would come with a cumbersome skirt making going through doors difficult, but it didn’t: though it was voluminous and beautiful, it was so supple that she didn’t even need to worry about being able to hug the one she loved properly. With the corset inlaid with what looked like small diamonds, and the translucent material covering the skirt, her shoulder and a part of the neckline, the whole dress seemed to be glowing. She also loved what her mother had done with her hair: an intricate braid scattered with tiny white flowers was crowning her head and, in the back of her head, it was gathered in a sideways bun.

Playing with her diamond-shaped necklace, the bride started with surprise when the door opened. She turned around and her smile widened when she saw her father.

“Dad! Is it time?”

Standing on the doorstep, Charming was gazing at her. “Your mother told me you looked incredibly splendid, but you look even more beautiful than that. You look radiant.”

“Thank you! Is it time?” she repeated and, noticing how impatient she sounded, he chuckled.

“It is.”

“Yes!”

She rushed to the door, pushed her father out of the room and grabbed his hand to lead him down the corridor. Laughing, he made her slow down.

“Emma, calm down.”

“I can’t! I’m marrying my Killian. I need to see him, I want to kiss him now, I can’t wait!”

Another laugh escaped him. “You’re overexcited.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then, hurry up! He’s waiting for me.”

She was right. In the ballroom, all the guests were seated. A central alley was leading from down the stairs to the balcony, where Killian, Liam and Archie were waiting. All the doors had been opened, allowing the guests to enjoy an ocean and blue sky view. Many of them kept casting glances up the stairs, where the bride was supposed to appear with her father any time.

Killian was unable to stand still. Instead of staying where he was supposed to, he went to the front row. Kaelyn was sitting on Snow's lap, and next to them were Henry and Ariel. The mermaid was amused as she watched Liam, who was Killian's best man, trying to pull his brother back on the balcony, in vain. The two of them were now engaged, and Ariel's baby bump was rather prominent already.

As guests reacted when Killian picked Kaelyn up, the groom looked up and indicated the room to his daughter.

“Look at all these people who love you! Do you want to wave hello?”

Beaming, Kaelyn waved her arm, leading to a general awe which made her squeal. She turned again to her father and pressed her face against his neck.

Killian knew most of the guests only by sight. He had been convinced by Emma that they should invite Regina, but he was glad she had refused the invitation. Since the day when she had come and claimed that she wanted to become a better person, she had caused no wrong, and Henry was usually spending two days a week with her. She truly seemed to be on her way to redemption, but Killian still despised her presence.

Glancing over the room, the groom then gazed at the top of the stairs, where his soon-to-be wife had yet to appear. Kaelyn caught her attention by placing her hands on his cheeks. Flashing her a smile, he lifted her up some more, enough to lean his forehead against hers. He brushed her nose with his own and, as always when he was doing that, she was delighted.

A sound of doors being opened made Killian look up. There she was, entering the room, arm in arm with her father. Kaelyn still had her hands on his cheeks while he gazed at the bride, transfixed. A tug on his sleeve interrupted his musings.

“Killian, come back here,” said Liam.

But he didn’t want to go back on the balcony and put some more distance between him and his true love. The distance separating them was already too long to his liking: before reuniting with him, she still had to reach the top of the staircase, come down, and walk down the aisle.

All the guests had stood up and were looking at her, but the only one she could see was Killian, who was gazing at her while holding their daughter in his arms. He seemed to tell the toddler something and she looked up too.

“Emma,” Charming whispered. “You need to slow down.”

“But…”

Her father chuckled. “I know you’re eager to be down there, but you soon will be. Be patient.”

Emma did her best to comply. Killian had handed Kaelyn back to Snow and was kissing her tiny hands. This sight made the bride feel like she was melting: even on a day like this, he was finding time for their daughter. It also made her even more impatient to be with him.

She was not taking her eyes off him. Neither was he. She had just started to go down the stairs when he let go of Kaelyn’s hands and walked towards her. Both were preventing themselves from running, but the closer they were to each other, the more difficult it was.

At last, they reached the bottom of the stairs at the same time. Still keeping one hand in her father’s, Emma tossed an arm around Killian’s neck while he captured her in his embrace and kissed her. Momentarily forgetting the world around them, she gladly responded.

When she remembered the guests surrounding them and the wedding itself, she leant her forehead against his own and bit her lip to stop herself from beaming. “You were supposed to wait for me down there.”

“You’re marrying a pirate, remember? I only follow my own rules, and one of them dictates me to show you my love whenever I have the chance.” He pulled away and flashed her a bright smile before admitting, “I could not resist, I had to come to you.”

“I’m glad you did. I desperately needed to kiss you, I didn’t want to wait any longer.”

“You look dazzling,” he commented with a light shake of the head.

“Be careful, if I come into the light with all these diamonds, I might even blind you.”

“You don’t need any diamond for that, love,” he said with a crooked smile, and she got lost in his bright blue eyes.

It was only when she tore her gaze away that, holding his shoulder, she took the time to look him up and down. His outfit was composed of a navy blue coat whose golden buttons matched the golden vest that he was wearing over a white shirt, and white pants.

“You look unsurprisingly devilishly handsome,” she commented in her turn, unable to repress an appreciative smile as she observed how much of his chest the neckline let see.

“I didn’t really want to wear one of these royal dresses,” he replied as if it was only the two of them. “With Liam, we thought a sailor outfit would look great.”

“It does. I had never seen this one,” she went on, indicating the golden vest.

“Well, it’s not every day that we get married!”

“Kids,” Charming cut in, “I don’t mean to interrupt you but, speaking of getting married…”

With a move of the head, he indicated the balcony ahead of them.

“Right,” Killian said as he realized they were still standing at the bottom of the stairs. “Do you want me to go back there, where I was supposed to wait for you?”

“No, don’t worry, you can walk with us.” He flashed his daughter a teasing smile before addressing the groom again, “At least, with you by her side, I won’t need to stop her from running.”

Killian raised an amused eyebrow and Emma repressed a laugh. She held out her hand to him.

“We’re pirates, anyway,” she said. “We don’t follow the rules.”

“Remind me how I got lucky enough to be the one you’re about to marry,” he replied while taking her hand.

“The same way I got lucky enough to be the one about to marry you. Come!”

Surrounded by both her father and her fiancé, the princess walked down the aisle. Among the many guests, she spotted a few familiar faces: people working at the castle, some of Henry’s teachers, couples and families who had attended previous balls – including the two sisters from Arendelle and the husband of one of them, – and August, the man who had built all the furniture for Kaelyn’s room and who had become since then a close family friend.

Glancing at all the cheerful guests, Emma was beaming. When they walked past the front row, Killian paused to kiss Kaelyn’s cheek and give Henry a high five. Holding the toddler in her arms, Snow was watching her daughter with teary eyes and a bright smile.

At last, they reached the balcony, where Archie and Liam were waiting for them.

“Finally back where you should have been waiting,” Liam teased his brother.

“Couldn’t resist,” Killian shrugged before exchanging a loving glance with his bride.

Both of them placed themselves face to face. David placed his daughter’s hand on Killian’s before going to stand behind her, the same way as Liam was behind his brother.

Silence fell upon the guests as Archie started to talk, but Killian and Emma were already in their own world: with their fingers intertwined and their gazes fixed on each other, they were not listening. Instead, they were secretly in communion, sharing their feelings. Emma received an intense wave of love and sent one of her own. She felt his excitement to be standing there and how much he admired her, and she let him know how excited she had been when her father had finally come to tell her it was time. Another wave of excitement reminded her of how she had felt when she had entered the room and spotted him. She thought of how impatient to be in his arms, and delighted, she had been when she had walked down the stairs. The next wave of feelings that he sent reminded her of when she had been standing with her back on the door and of how much she had been willing to be on the other side, with him. She shared how she had felt like she was melting when she had watched Kaelyn toddle to him, and thought of the kiss on her hand only briefly, before he made her relive their kiss down the stairs, on the aisle. She dreamily mused on this moment and her thoughts drifted, bringing her back to the previous night. Killian’s lips parted and he slightly shook his head, making her realize what she had unintentionally shared. But it was too late: a hint of a smirk appeared on his features, and feels from the past night suddenly washed over her. It was so overwhelming that she lifted the palms of her hands away from his own to interrupt the communion. With his lopsided grin, the groom looked rather smug; it was not the first time they were playfully trying to make each other give way, and they had never had such a large audience before.

“Killian?”

The pirate looked up at Archie, who had seemingly tried to get his attention several times already.

“I do!” Killian said.

As he heard laughs coming from the audience, he raised an eyebrow and looked around. David, Liam and Archie looked amused as well. Though far from disliking entertaining the audience, Killian cast his brother an inquiring look, wondering what he had done, this time, to cause the laughs.

“Not that part yet!” Liam said with a crooked smile.

“What?”

“The vows!” Charming said in a hushed voice.

“Didn’t you prepare one?” Archie asked the groom who had finally realized what was happening.

“Prepare?” Killian lightly frowned. “Why would I prepare anything, when my inspiration is standing right in front of me?” He gave Emma his irresistible look and said, “Princesses first.”

“My vow?” she asked.

“Aye, your vow.” Killian chuckled, “You’re following as well as I am.”

“I’ve been distracted by the one who’s about to become my husband.”

From the moment when she had interrupted the communion, she had spent most of the time looking away, trying to forget how eager she was to close the distance between them. But now that she was gazing at him again, and that it was only a matter of minutes before she would be able to call him ‘husband’, the love she was feeling for him made her sigh with contentment.

“My Killian,” she started. She lightly bit her lip, knowing exactly what she was about to say. “You simply are the one I’ll always share my chocolate with.” His smile brightened and, barely aware of all the guests, she went on. “The one I love, and the one I don’t ever want to live without. When I met you, I asked you to bring me home, and that’s exactly what you did. You gave my life a meaning I never thought it would have. A forever spent by your side probably won’t be long enough to let me tell you how much I love you, but I vow to remind you every day how wonderful true love is.”

She tenderly pressed her palms against his own, and the wave of love she sent to him got them both lost in a world which belonged only to the two of them.

“That was beautiful,” he whispered.

“Your turn,” she whispered back.

But there was a moment of silence before he spoke; a moment during which they gazed at each other and drowned in love.

“My love,” he finally started. “Being the one standing here in front of you today is the evidence that I am the luckiest of all the men. You’re saying that I brought you home, but you brought me love. Love and so much more, including a son and a daughter.” He glanced at Henry and Kaelyn, and flashed them a bright smile before focusing on Emma again. “What I love the most about life is that you never know what lies ahead on the road and that, sometimes, the path you take happens to be very different and much better than what was expected. This happened to me when I ran into you. Or more precisely, when _you_ ran into me. How could I have imagined, when I woke up on that morning, that you were about to turn my life upside-down in the best possible way? We were about to set sail, but you ran into me and the plans changed, because I simply knew I couldn’t leave without you. From the start, you’ve been able to make my heart pound and, at first, I didn’t understand how or why, but then, I knew. I love you. You are the other half of our equinox. My favorite view when I wake up. My favorite feeling when I fall asleep. This is why I can tell you this: an ocean of love awaits us and, no matter how calm or bumpy the seas will be, I promise to love you and treasure you until forever ends.”

Biting her lip, Emma was gazing at him with watery eyes.

“Do you have anything else to say?” Archie inquired.

“Of course,” he replied. “I could talk endlessly about my Emma or the true love we share. But that’s all I’m going to say for now. Please let me marry her, already.”

Archie, who was also teary-eyed, smiled brightly as he asked, “Do you, Captain Killian Jones, take Emma Swan to be your wife?”

“Aye, of course I do.”

“Do you, Princess Emma Swan, take Killian Jones to be your husband?”

“Yes, a thousand times yes! I do,” she answered and bit her lip, trying to contain her excitement.

“Killian Jones and Emma Swan,” Archie announced. “It is my great honor to pronounce you husband and wife.”

The joy Emma felt at this moment made her feel like her heart was about to burst out of her chest. She would have kissed her husband, if Henry had not come to stand by their sides. Her attention was caught by what he had in his hands.

“Oh, wow!”

In his hands was a wooden model of the Jolly Roger. The hull was painted and the sails were hoisted in a very realistic way. But what she loved the most about it was the miniature wheel, around which were the two rings.

“It’s amazing!”

Killian and Henry had been in charge of the rings, but she had never imagined something like this.

“August helped us,” the boy announced proudly.

“My love?” Killian interrupted Emma’s musings and she looked up.

He was holding one of the rings. He softly took her hand, and her breath caught as he put it on her finger.

He gazed at the ring, and beamed at her before winking at Henry. “Officially a family.”

The boy’s smile widened. In her turn, Emma picked the ring from the wooden model. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest when she took Killian’s hand and slipped the ring on his finger. When they looked up at each other, they were instantly in this world belonging only to the two of them and, naturally, they closed the short distance separating them, and lost themselves in a passionate kiss.

The silence was broken by Kaelyn, who squealed happily when her brother placed his hands on her eyes, telling her that she was too young to watch. It made Killian and Emma smile against each other’s lips. They pulled away only to get even closer as they tightly hugged, and the audience burst into applause.

“Mrs. Jones, you’re making me the most fulfilled of all the men,” he whispered while still holding her in his arms.

She smiled brightly and kissed him again, before leaning her forehead against his own and whispering, “I’m yours.”

“And I’m yours,” he replied in a hushed voice.

Lightly scratching the nape of his neck, she watched him as he looked down and trailed his fingers along the translucent and beaded strip of silk chiffon, from her shoulder to its end right below her chest.

“Truly resplendent.” He looked up before adding, “And I’m not talking just about the dress.”

“I know.”

Forehead against forehead, they gazed at each other.

“They’re all waiting,” Killian said, softly trailing his fingers down her arms. “They’re going to come to us. Are you ready, or should we stay like this and let them wait some more?”

“We’ve made them wait long enough, already.”

She quickly kissed his lips before turning to the audience. All the guests were standing and applauding.

“Congratulations, brother!” Liam patted Killian’s shoulder.

“Thanks. You’re next!”

“Aye. Still a few more months to wait.”

“Daddy!”

Kaelyn instantly caught her father’s attention. Snow was hugging her daughter while holding the toddler in her arms, close enough to Killian to allow her to grab his coat. Delighted when he took her in his arms, she patted his cheeks and tried to pull him closer. Guessing what she wanted, he brushed her nose with his own.

“Don’t move,” Henry said.

“What are you doing?” Killian inquired.

“Her shoelace is undone. It won’t be long,” the boy said while tying it. “Done!”

“Do you want me to take her back?” Snow offered.

Killian shook his head. “I can keep her. I’m sure she’ll enjoy greeting everyone.”

He was right: guests came in turn to congratulate the newlyweds, and Kaelyn was delighted by all the attention she was getting; she beamed at anyone who mentioned how lovely or adorable she was – which was a majority of the guests – and sometimes even tried to reach for them. That was until she seemingly got bored and held out her arms to her brother, who was standing between Emma and Killian.

“Ewy!”

She still didn’t know how to pronounce his name, but he recognized himself instantly, and took her from Killian. The two of them walked away from the crowd and went to play in a quieter part of the room.

The sun set while the newlyweds kept talking to the guests. In the meantime, all the seats were removed and the buffet was installed.

Emma was talking with August when she heard a familiar tinkling laugh. She barely had time to turn around before Kaelyn ran into her and held out her arms.

“Mummy!”

“Adorable little one,” August commented while Emma picked her up.

The toddler flashed him a bright smile, before devoting her attention to her brother when he asked, “Do you want to stop playing?”

“No!” The toddler turned to her mother and pressed her mouth against her cheek, mimicking a kiss, then indicated the floor. “Mummy, done.”

“Yes, I’m putting you down, treasure.”

She lightly kissed her daughter’s cheek before doing so. As soon as she was on her feet, Kaelyn cast a glance at her brother. She squealed and ran away when he playfully pretended to chase her.

“She’s lucky to have a big brother like this!” August commented as he watched them.

“Very. Henry is an amazing brother.”

The orchestra soon started to play and the ball began.

“My dear beautiful wife, may I have this dance?” Killian came to ask Emma with a bright smile, slightly bowing and holding out his hand to her.

“As if you needed to ask,” she giggled and let him lead her to the center of the dancefloor.

“I can’t get enough of you accepting to dance with me, so I’ll just keep asking you any time I get the chance.”

They opened the ball and other couples joined them. Waltzing around, Killian and Emma were not taking their eyes off each other.

“Make me fly.”

“Which move do you have in mind?” he asked. “With your dress, I can’t make all of them.”

“The one when you catch me in your arms bridal style.”

This idea was coming from the night he proposed, when they had danced and he had said there were moves he was willing to try – moves that would make her feel like she was flying. Emma had kept in mind that he wasn’t willing to try them while she was pregnant. One day, when Kaelyn was already a few weeks old, she had reminded him about these moves. Since then, from time to time, they had tried different ones and practiced, not necessarily during balls. Emma knew she could trust him: no matter what the move looked like, he never failed to catch her.

Killian looked around to make sure it was safe. They didn’t need to talk; gazing at each other was enough. She placed her hands on his shoulders and he placed his on her waist. When they were ready, she jumped, and he made her go higher and turn around. He caught her bridal style, cushioning her landing by accompanying her, and spun round and round.

“Perfect,” Emma whispered.

“Even the landing?”

“Yes. Very soft. Perfect.”

With an arm around his neck and a hand on his cheek, she guided his lips to her own, and he slowed down then stopped spinning while they kissed. It was one for the ages; the first score had time to end before he put her down. Slightly dizzy and feeling like the only stable element was Killian, she remained pressed against him and held onto him, keeping her forehead against his and her eyes closed while she caught her breath.

“Are you alright, love?”

“More than fine,” she whispered with a smile. “You took my breath away.”

He tightened his embrace, shifting his hand from her lower back to her shoulder and brushing her bare skin with his thumb.

They were still swaying on the spot when they were interrupted.

“Mum? Dad? Everything’s fine so you don’t have to worry, but… I was playing with Kaelyn and she slipped through the guests, and I don’t know where she went. Grandpa and grandma are looking for her already.”

“What?” they asked in unison even if they had understood very well.

They pulled away and looked around in an attempt to spot the toddler. They went opposite ways, looking for their daughter. A couple close to Emma stopped dancing and looked at her inquiringly.

“Have you seen Kaelyn?” she asked them.

The couple shook their heads. Concerned, they asked the two couples next to them. Taking a deep breath, Emma tried to reassure herself; it was not the first time that Kaelyn was sneaking out of sight, she was probably not far. But she was still worried because there were so many guests.

“Mum! Grandpa found her!” Henry came to warn her.

“Where is she? Is she alright?”

“Yes, she’s fine.” The boy smirked before adding, “She’s at the buffet.”

Emma craned her neck to see her daughter or her father, in vain. The reason why she couldn’t see them was that David was crawling under the table, trying to reach for Kaelyn who was sitting there, beaming at him. Her fingers, her lower face, and even a part of her dress, were covered in chocolate, because of the fondant she was holding.

Observing her state, a laugh escaped him. “Look at who’s her mummy’s daughter! Come here, princess.”

Kaelyn didn’t move and took another bite while waiting for him to come and pick her up. Once he was on his feet, holding her in his arms, she showed him the fondant.

“Hocolate!” she said proudly.

“Is it for me?” he asked with a hand hovering above it.

“No!” She lightly frowned as she protectively took it back. “Hocolate me biwate tweaduh.”

“What?”

“That’s my girl!” Killian laughed as he joined them.

“What did she say?” Charming inquired.

“She said chocolate is her pirate treasure,” he translated. “You can’t have chocolate.”

“Daddy hocolate!” Kaelyn beamed at her father and handed him a piece of fondant.

“But you can?” David asked.

“My girls share their chocolate with me,” Killian answered with a crooked smile, before turning to his daughter. “Is the chocolate for daddy?”

“Aye!”

“What about grandpa?” he asked while taking the piece that she looked very happy to offer him. “Can he have some chocolate too?”

A pout formed on her tiny lips as she looked down at the dessert.

“Don’t worry, princess,” Charming reassured. “Grandpa won’t blame you if you don’t want to share your pirate treasure.”

But Kaelyn seemed to change her mind: focused on tearing another piece off the fondant, she beamed at him when she handed it to him.

“Wamba hocolate!”

‘Wamba’ was one of the few words he was able to understand: the word she was using to say both ‘grandma’ and ‘grandpa’. She looked so delighted to offer him some chocolate that he couldn’t refuse.

“Sharing your treasure… You’ll be an amazing princess!”

“Why, of course she will be. She already is,” Killian replied proudly. “Whether she shares her treasure or not.”

“Yummy hocolate!” she said before taking a bite.

“How did she even get it?” David asked.

Killian shrugged. “She’s Emma’s daughter.”

The men exchanged a glance and chuckled.

“I’m right here,” Emma let them know.

“And do you deny the fact that your daughter takes the ability to sneak chocolate after you?” Killian asked, hiding his surprise to see her right behind them.

“No,” she replied with a bright smile, obviously proud. “Next step is eating cleanly. We need to change her.”

“Snow and I will take care of her. You two go back on the dancefloor.”

“No yummy mow,” Kaelyn said.

“You’re not hungry anymore?” Emma asked.

The toddler shook her head and turned to her father, who was closer, and handed him what was left of the dessert. “Daddy eeb me biwate tweaduh.”

“Aye, daddy will keep your treasure safe,” he assured while taking it.

David left the room with Kaelyn. Staring at the leftover fondant, Killian looked up at Emma.

“I just need to put this where she can get it later. Then I’m coming right back to you.”

“I’ll be somewhere around the buffet.”

“How surprising!” He chuckled and kissed her, careful to keep his hands away to avoid any contact between the chocolate and her ivory dress.

Emma had time to go around the buffets. It was one of the most copious ones she had ever seen, and she made a mental note to thank her mother for this, since she was the one who had planned it all. Even the decorations of the ballroom, the music and the lights, were amazing. The whole ceremony was simply perfect.

“Like mother, like daughter,” Killian laughed when he came back and found her eating a chocolate fondant.

“Our daughter has good taste. You should have one. More than the crumb Kaelyn gave you.”

“Not now that I finally have chocolate-free hands,” he said while wrapping her in his arms.

“That’s not a problem.” She took a fondant and held it in front of his mouth.

A moment later, they were back on the dancefloor. The orchestra had time to play several scores before David and Snow came back with Kaelyn, who was now wearing a navy-blue dress.

For the next dance, there was a switch of partners.

“Emma?” David held out his hand to his daughter and they started waltzing.

“Shall we dance?” Killian invited Snow.

“My daughter, married at last,” David said, gazing at Emma. “Love, family, happiness, this is all I ever wanted for you.”

“I never thought I would ever have this.” Emma glanced at her husband, who was dancing with her mother, and at her children. “Look at them!”

“I’d say you have the happiest kids in the world. They’re such bundles of joy, the two of them.”

Henry was making his sister dance, and she seemingly loved moving on the music. A few guests had stopped dancing and were watching them. Some of them were even applauding, and that was what seemed to catch Kaelyn’s attention: she beamed at them and went back to move on the music.

“Looks like she loves being the center of attention,” David commented.

“Not something she takes after me.”

“Probably more like her father.”

In the meantime, Killian and Snow were waltzing.

“My dear son-in-law,” she said with a bright smile. “I really love how that sounds. And do you know what it means?”

He raised an inquiring eyebrow. “It means that I married your daughter and that a pirate is now officially part of your family?”

“It means that you can no longer complain when I treat you like a son.”

“But I can assure you-”

“No complaint,” she interrupted him playfully. “I will keep making sure that you and Emma have all the meals you need when you go sailing. Nothing will stop me from taking care of you.”

“Fine. Even if I still think you don’t need to.”

“You mean that’s the least I can do.” Her look became more intense and her tone changed, becoming more serious. “I owe you so much, Killian. For so long, we thought we had lost Emma forever. But you made her find her way back to us. And besides getting our daughter back, we got you, our son-in-law. We got her back, and she is happier than we ever hoped she would be. This afternoon, you couldn’t see her, but she was ecstatic. Overjoyed at the prospect of promising to spend her life by your side. Watching you two get married… Today was one of the most magical days.”

Slightly unsettled and unsure of what to say, Killian looked her in the eye before a crooked smile appeared on his lips. “Well, I guess I definitely can’t complain anymore when I find out that you took care of packing lunch for us.”

“Definitely. Speaking of, everything you need for tomorrow is already on your ship.”

He looked suspicious. “Only for tomorrow or-”

“For the entire honeymoon. I can’t let you and Emma eat only boiled mackerel for a week.”

Killian shook his head, amused. “We wouldn’t have eaten only this.” He spun her around and, when he pulled her back to him, added, “Well, thank you.”

She smiled brightly and they kept dancing until the score ended.

“Thank you, my dear son-in-law,” she said at the end of the dance.

She kissed his cheek and quickly hugged him, before she and her daughter switched to go back to their husbands.

Soon, it was time for the kids to go to bed, while everyone else kept dancing, eating, drinking, or talking. There were a few more partner switches, leading Emma to dance with August, Liam, and a few other guests who were all honored to have a dance with the princess. Meanwhile, Killian danced with Ariel, Elsa, and other women he knew only by sight or even not at all.

“I’m not saying dancing with other guests isn’t nice, but I’m glad to be back in your arms,” Emma said when, at last, she was dancing with Killian again. “Everything is so much easier with you. I don’t need to think to follow your moves, I always know what to do.”

“Needless to say you’re by far my favorite partner. Even if dancing with other guests was rather fun.”

“I bet it was fun for you. How many of them did you make swoon?”

“A couple,” he answered with a smirk. “Especially this one woman I didn’t know, named Jessica. I don’t think she could handle it, poor girl.”

“As if you felt sorry,” Emma giggled.

“Not at all,” he admitted. “Also, Elsa is inviting us to spend a few days in Arendelle again. She said she told you already.”

“She did! We talked earlier. After our honeymoon, we can plan our trip there.” She looked him in the eye before adding, “Honeymoon which I still know nothing about.”

“And that’s not about to change,” he teased before kissing her.

They left the dancefloor and kept dancing on the balcony; balcony where they had got married hours earlier, and where he had proposed. This simple thought got Emma lost in his eyes. Thinking of the wedding and the proposal took her even further in the past. She thought of everything they had been through, and remembered the day she had first gazed into his eyes. This made her muse on how, less than three years earlier, she had still been thinking of Boston as her home; on how she had got a choice and, despite her reason telling her to go back to the Apprentice and without really knowing why, she had listened to her heart and gone back to Killian. This was how it had all started; with this wish on her twenty-eighth birthday, and this decision which, at this time, had seemed much less insignificant than it had actually been: this choice to go back to him had changed her life, as he had been about to bring her home in a way she had never expected anyone would.

And now, he was hers. Thinking of the past day and reliving all the overwhelming emotions associated with it, she bit her lip as tears filled her eyes.

“Love?” he inquired.

“I chose you,” she whispered.

“I’m afraid it’s a bit too late to realize this,” he joked. “You did choose me, and I even happen to be your husband, now.”

Something which sounded like a mix of a laugh and a sob escaped her. “I mean, when we met. I chose you. And now, we officially belong to each other. If I hadn’t… I wouldn’t have any of this.”

She hugged him and kissed his neck, taking advantage of the opportunity to hide her face there.

“My love…”

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too,” he whispered back before adding, “My wife.”

“My husband,” she said, smiling in his neck. “It’s so unusual to call you that, after all this time calling you my fiancé.”

“I can still call you my love.”

“And you’ll always be my Killian.”

“And you, my Emma.”

She giggled, tiptoed to kiss him, and melted in his embrace. They spent the rest of the night dancing, losing themselves in each other’s eyes, and being in communion, sending waves of love to each other.

At the break of dawn, they sat on the railing of the balcony and, along with Snow, Charming, and most of the guests who were still there, watched the fiery colors invading the sky and the sun rising above the ocean.

“And here starts our first day as a married couple,” Emma said, leaning back against her husband and holding his arms crossed on her stomach.

“Princess Emma Jones,” he whispered in her ear. “I’d say it is now time for the next part of our adventure of a lifetime to begin.”

“Are we going now?” she asked excitedly.

“Aye.”

She beamed when he scooped her up. They didn’t go unnoticed: the guests stepped aside to let them pass, wishing them a nice journey.

Before leaving, they stopped by the children’s rooms. Kaelyn was sound asleep.

“See you soon, little treasure,” Killian whispered.

They kissed her cheek before heading to Henry’s room. The boy woke up as soon as his parents opened the door.

“Mum! Dad!”

He got up and tightly hugged both of them.

“We’re leaving for only a week,” Killian chuckled.

“I know, but I haven’t got the occasion to hug like this since we officially became a family. Are all the guests still here?”

“Most of them, yes.”

“It was a perfect day,” the boy commented. “Are you going on the honeymoon now?”

“Yes!” Emma answered excitedly.

“Take care of your sister!” Killian said. “Even if David and Snow will be there to take care of the two of you.”

“And you take care of mum.”

“Don’t worry about that.” The man chuckled and ruffled the boy’s hair.

“Dad!” he playfully complained.

“Remember. If there’s anything-”

“I know. I can use the seashells to call you.”

“Right. See you in a week!”

“Have a nice trip!”

They hugged their son again before leaving the castle.

Snow and Charming were astride a horse, and a second horse was waiting for them. The plan was for the four of them to go down to the docks. There, Emma and Killian would set sail, while Snow and Charming would bring their horse back to the castle. The guests had come out of the castle as well and were forming a guard of honor along the path.

“Come here, love.”

Killian helped Emma get on the horse and, as usual, she sat in front of him, sideways because of her dress.

“I’m ready,” she announced while wrapping an arm around his neck.

The guests greeted them as they set off. On the way to the docks, they talked ceaselessly about the wedding and how wonderful it had been.

“Wow, we’re there already. That was fast!” Emma commented when they found themselves on the docks.

It was time to split. Emma hugged her parents. Snow embraced Killian, and David patted his shoulder, before they got back on the horses.

“It’s just you and me!” Killian told his wife, who beamed at him.

Hand in hand, they walked aboard the ship. Emma quickly took off her shoes before going where she needed to be to set sail. Once they had left the docks, she joined her husband behind the wheel.

“Still not telling me where we’re going?” she inquired.

“Let’s just say I have in mind a few beautiful places where you’ve never been,” he teased. He slightly tilted his head on the side as he watched her play with her hair. “What are you doing?”

“Making myself comfortable,” she answered while undoing her bun. Seeing his crooked smile and his raised eyebrow, she repressed a smile and added, “I only mean I took off my shoes and I want to feel my hair dancing in the wind.”

“For now,” he completed her sentence.

“For now,” she confirmed.

He chuckled and kissed her cheek before helping her. At first keeping a hand on the wheel, he ended up leaving it to her to fully focus on the task: he collected the tiny flowers, slipping them one by one in his pocket, then unbraided her hair, and softly slipped his fingers through it.

“Much better,” she whispered when she shook her head once he was done, and felt her hair blown around by the wind.

Killian glanced at the horizon and slightly readjusted the position of the wheel. “Let’s let forever start!”

“And love each other until it ends.”

They gazed at each other, then, at the same time, looked down at their lips. Both still had one hand on the wheel when they kissed and melted in each other’s embrace. It was the start of a new day; of a new journey. They had found home in each other, and nothing but love and happiness awaited them in this new chapter of their life together.

* * *

 

_The End (Or the Start of Forever)_


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